Well, obviously. I’m still working out the kinks on that one though. I have a few giant goldfish with laser pointers tied onto their heads. They really aren’t cutting it though.
kaylasdad99 said:
That may be a bit tricky, what with Delta Force being Army and all that. Your marines may be a bit miffed with you for that.
Why? They’re mercs. I specified that they were outfitted as the 1st Marines would be so that it’d be clear what their numbers and armaments should be without me having to write a whole bunch of boring expository crap.
kaylasdad specified “Special Forces Marines that I can deploy as Delta Force teams”. I’m not certain what special forces Marines are, but I can guarantee you that Marines do not wish to be confused for Army. Even Delta Force Army.
Now the uniformed can play loose with the terms “Marines” and “Delta Force” and probably be okay. Or your mercs can be a mixed bag unit and deploy by skillset. Whatever you like. I’m just pointing out one of those technical thingies. Kinda like saying you have a bunch of Elves of Rohan. The Rohirrim are pretty tough guys, but don’t want to be confused for Elves, and no Elf wants to be thought of as a mere “horse rider”.
I think Saruman is extraordinarily vulnerable. Sure, he has “the voice”. But I don’t think he has range. And then there’s that great whopping “nuke my HQ please” sign written over the dam. A couple of satchel charges and his place is sunk (haha). From there, a couple of rounds from those 25mm cannons, a nice mix of armor piercing (ie, WALL piercing) and high explosive incendiaries and he’s gotta either attempt to parley (and use his powers), or escape. Oh sure, he can summon things, change the weather, etc, but you DO NOT give him the time or opportunity to do that. Saruman goes down hard and fast, period.
If Theoden dies or cannot be saved, it is really of no huge consequence. At this point I don’t think you get to Helms Deep. You don’t have to. A trio of those LAV-25’s can hit and run the fuck out of the Uruk-Hai. Sure, they don’t have the ammunition to take out the entire 10,000, but they can sure mess them up and destroy their supply train until your main body can engage and destroy that force.
Then it is a matter of mopping up operations for part of the force while the remaining force moves to Osgiliath to stall Sauron’s force while attempting to rally Rohan and Gondor into a cohesive defense.
The Corsairs? Even a pair of the LAV-25’s, protected by a small force of riflemen could play havok with the approaching fleet, assuming they can make a dash across Pelenor Fields and down river - assuming they CAN cross the rivers to get there. Their cannons may not be large, but a couple of rounds of high explosive incendiaries and a few dozen .50 caliber holes at the water line are going to make the Corsair’s day a whole lot less fun.
We grab Faromir to ensure that Gondor has an heir and hold him at our camp. Given the fall of the house of Isildur at that bastard Skald’s hands, at the end of the day we declare Faramir the new King.
So from that front, we’re solid. Not too many issues.
The real problem is getting Frodo to Mordor. Without the fellowship, he doesn’t make it there. He isn’t crossing the pass alone or making it through Moria, or surviving the ambush that had formerly killed Boromir.
Let me think about that one for a bit.
And think about MY reward for leading this great adventure. I’m thinking about a certain Elf maiden and a large noble land grant in a now defunct kingdom with a certain small tenant base.
LAVs are capable of crossing rivers no sweat. They just can’t handle surf. So they have to take out the Corsairs when they are close to land. But yeah, a few incendiary rounds will turn a wooden boat into a BBQ real fast.
From LOTR Appendix B; all dates in March 3019:
7: Frodo and Sam meet Faramir, and are taken by him to Henneth Annun
8: F&S leave Henneth Annun
9: Faramir leaves Henneth Annun; F&S reach the Morgul-road
10: Gandalf rescues Faramir outside the gates of Minas Tirith; F&S pass the Cross Roads and see the Morgul-host set forth
11: Denethor sends Faramir to Osgiliath
12: Gollum leads Frodo into Shelob’s lair; Faramir retreats to the Causeway Forts
13: Frodo captured by the Orcs of Cirith Ungol; Pelennor overrun and Faramir wounded
14: Sam rescues Frodo in the tower of Cirith Ungol
15: Denethor burns himself on a pyre; F&S begin their journey north along the Morgai
19: F&S travel along the road to Barad-dur
22: F&S turn south to Mount Doom
25: F&S arrive at Mount Doom; Gollum and the One Ring are destroyed in fire; Fall of Sauron and Barad-dur
You don’t need to. Skald didn’t kill anyone until Frodo and Sam were on their way through Emyn Muil. Then he takes out the other six surviving (or resurrected) members of the Fellowship and Treebeard for good measure. Then he makes his escape before Fangorn Forest can kill him.
You read my mind, dearest. Though that last sentence should be “Then he firebombs Fangorn Forest with napalm.” I love how it smells in the morning.
And as pointed out elsewher, involving oneself directly in Frodo’s part of the quest (and by extension Faramir’s intersection with same) is probably not a good idea.
Wait, I’ve thought of an even better solution. Most of Sauron’s forces are humans from far-off nations whom he’s convinced (probably with promises of spoils) to side with him. So we’ll just buy off almost his entire army.
What’s that, you say, that doesn’t sound cheap? Ah, but you forget about the overwhelming trade disparity that’s just waiting to be arbitraged between our world and Middle-Earth. A half-ton of mithril is currently running about a thousand bucks on the commodities markets, which is well under the equipment cost of a single merc (heck, a lot of the munitions we’re talking about cost more than that per shot), but is enough to buy whole kingdoms several times over in Middle-Earth.
Yes, but that doesn’t make Evil Inc. any money, as there will be no battles to videorecord and make holonovels of. Only the Ferengi are going to be interested in buying holos of trade negotiations.
Darn it, Skald! I was trying to save that forest. You can take Treebeard, but please, leave the trees. Fwiw, some of them are quite black-hearted, especially in the movie-ME (cf Old Man Willow scene).
[QUOTE=Chronos]
Wait, I’ve thought of an even better solution. Most of Sauron’s forces are humans from far-off nations whom he’s convinced (probably with promises of spoils) to side with him. So we’ll just buy off almost his entire army.
What’s that, you say, that doesn’t sound cheap? Ah, but you forget about the overwhelming trade disparity that’s just waiting to be arbitraged between our world and Middle-Earth. A half-ton of mithril is currently running about a thousand bucks on the commodities markets, which is well under the equipment cost of a single merc (heck, a lot of the munitions we’re talking about cost more than that per shot), but is enough to buy whole kingdoms several times over in Middle-Earth.
[/QUOTE]
Here’s the problem (aside from lack of entertainment value): I don’t think Sauron promised them spoils so much as “I’ll turn the Eye (and the Nazgul) (and the Orcs) on you if you don’t send troops.” He probably also told them that the Westrons were terribly fierce and aggressive, and that they eat Haradrim babies for breakfast and Easterling babies for lunch, and oh by the way they’re planning to attack you right now!
Look how much the US has spent in Iraq and Afghanistan with no financial incentive (at least for the troops). Fear trumps money, and I’m sure Sauron is at least as good as Fox News in drumming up fear. He may not be quite as strident, but he has reality on his side (at least wrt his own abilities), and that’s got to count for something.
Even if you could buy them off, would it be quickly enough to draw everybody out of Mordor in time for Frodo to walk across the plains of Gogoroth? Will it draw the Eye? How about those negotiations? It’s one thing to take on the Nazgul in battle, but how well do you think your round table discussions will go if the Nine swoop in to disrupt them?
I don’t see buying Sauron’s human support off as a viable solution, at least in the short run. After the Ring is destroyed, buying them off is OK.
Also, Chronos, where are you getting your value for mithril on the commodities market? Platinum is over $1.5 K per ounce, and I don’t find it plausible that mithril is aluminum. If mithril is neither, then it is priceless on our commodities markets here.
Yeah, how exactly would you find or make mithril?
What about something like opium though? Get those men addicted to a drug, and they’ll have no choice but to help you.
Again, time makes this an unrealistic option. Not to mention, ew!
You guys are seriously overthinking it. All you need is a catapult.
I wonder if it’ll be any more epic if those are marines from Warhammer 40K…
I have no idea what that means. Other than it’s a roleplaying game.
Mithril is Titanium.
This is my thought as well, but I don’t think we have much in the way of proof.