It could have been worse. They could have had…CRYSTALS!
Somewhere along the way I heard that watching the Hocus Pocus movies on TV was dangerous because the spells they recite may be real ones. You don’t want that happening in your home.
Yes! Texas mom Jamie Gooch warned us about that!!
“The whole movie is based on witches harvesting children for blood sacrifices… I believe whatever comes in our TV screens: there are things attached to that, I’ve seen for myself the things that I’ve watched with my eyes or heard over a TV screen, they’ve become manifested in real life. Everybody thinks it’s fake and innocent, but they could be casting any spell they want to. Anything could be coming through that TV screen into your home.”
These surreptitious deer carcass eaters could be part of a plot to create prion-infected zombies who will first spread out over Canada, subsequently infecting the rest of the Northern Hemisphere and then inevitably the entire world.
Be very afraid.
As long as the zombies eat Jamie Gooch, I really don’t think I’m too much bothered by any amount of collateral damage.
Isn’t being a zombie bad enough on it’s own? Do you really have to torture those poor, unfortunate souls?
The way I see it those zombies will get an extra special treat:
Completely unused braaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnnzzzzz!
Not something they can find every day in the wild.
A foul-mouthed comedian who drinks onstage?
Although meals were never Tim’s strongest suit, they have somehow become dicier. My solution:
- Get the sandwich on a (cheese) tea biscuit if possible, though this is becoming less available.
- Ask them to butter the bread product.
- Ask them to add onion, tomato or mayonnaise as needed. Other things if you can manage it. And it is much needed.
- Ignore the marginal quality of the meat. Some locations are better than others, though.
At least they stopped buying bulk chips, microwaving them, and pretending there was something gourmet about that.
Jamie Gooch: “… I believe whatever comes in our TV screens: there are things attached to that, I’ve seen for myself the things that I’ve watched with my eyes or heard over a TV screen …”.
Christian Texas mom Jamie Gooch appeareth before the Lord, and sayeth unto Him, “I doubt not what I have seen for myself by watching, with the use of mine eyes, the things that come attached to our TV screens, and mine own eyes have heard the sounds thereof”. And the Lord replied, “verily, thou hast one of the worst cases of synesthesia in medical history.”
“And a terrible case of aphasia, too”, the Lord continued. For the Lord saw that she was simple, and knew nothing.
And then god didst cast her unto the realm where all god’s non-sentient creatures doth spend thine eternity. Thusly amongst the slugs, shellfish, and creeply crawlies of all Creation didst she abide. Forever and ever. Amen.
One can only hope.
To get even more people circling the wagons, of course!
I don’t even think they have a U.S. office anymore. The parent company is Brazilian.
Tim Horton’s has never been good at real food. Ever. It’s just not consistent with their infrastructure and business model. They were okay at donuts, but that’s not really food.