Well that’s it, we’re screwed!
News on silicon implants has moved the Mark of the beast indicator up a notcth. Prophetic activity is on the rise, and the Rapture index (kind of like the Dow) is approaching all time highs (currently at 167 and rising!)
The Rapture is at hand!
Check it out here:
http://www.novia.net/~todd/rap2.html
This one, I feel, defies contradiction.
Watch out for that Gog index, it’ll sneak up on you.
“we sure buried him deep daddy”
“Not so deep that the lord can’t find him…and judge him”
I especially liike the explanation of terms. You know I had always suspected that liberalism was actually a Satanic conspiracy. Now I know.
I still haven’t gotten my Satanic forehead implant yet, so maybe we’re still ok.
the inclusion of numbers does not make it science.
Well, the Rapture index, along with the whole site, is arbitrary, subjective, and paranoiac.
Unless the owner of the site shows up, I don’t know how much we have to debate with this one though, Scylla . . .
And even the number of people writing to him in support doesn’t really surprise me. Depressing, but not surprising.
And one of them has the gall to laud him as a “critical thinker.” That’s about as unfounded as my calling Scylla the Pope.
Thanks for a laff, your Eminence.
Sure it does!
This is:
:) SPECIAL SCIENCE! :)
Also known as SCIENCE LIGHT.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Scylla *
**
Also see: Creation Science
Actually creation science is the one thing it is not. Since this seeks to prove the end of the world scientifically, we probably shouldn’t call it “creation” anything. “Armageddon Science” has a nice ring to it. Or, Armegeddonist.
You think we ought to let FriendofGod and Wildest Bill know about this site? 
Damn me if some of the quotes from that site aren’t laugh out loud funny.
"The Rapture Index has two functions: one is to factor together a number of related end time components into a cohesive indicator, and the other is to standardize those components to eliminate the wide variance that currently exists with prophecy reporting. "
"The higher the number, the faster we’re moving towards the occurrence of pre-tribulation rapture. "
The guy has a full website though, there’s even a rapture ready message board.
I’ve always noticed an intolerable variance in prophecy reporting. I think it’s about time the issue was addressed, and I’m proud that this man did it in such outstanding manner. Many “Legitimate” scientists should be so careful.
Yeah, there’s some doozies in there.
I particularly like the post-Rapture survival manual. Very thoughtful.
Now, if only, if only…
Oh Christ!
(sound of running for the hills)
(sound of feet running back)
Lord forgive me for that.
(sound of footsteps returning to the hills)
Must be that new “fuzzy math” that’s going around Washington these days…
I think this was my personal fave:
“You could say the Rapture index is a Dow Jones Industrial Average of end time activity, but I think it would be better if you viewed it as prophetic speedometer.”
Prophetic speedometer? Hahahaha…
We can only hope they will be raptured away from us.
So, what, the rapture is purely an American phenomenon?
Personally, I can’t wait for the rapture. Once all them jeezoids are gone it’s gonna be a lot quieter here for the rest of us…
Not again! It was this type of chop-logic that turned me away from religion as a teenager. Same shit, different year.
I have a crazy-assed cousin (hey, I come from good redneck stock) who was among those who believe that on January 1st of this year that the apocalypse was going to take place. She and god knows how many other believers spent over a year putting up fruits and veggies. They collected water in empty milk jugs, bought generators, canned tuna and playing cards, then hunkered down for the END!!!
Needless to remind y’all that the apocalypse was postponed for some reason, I’m sure.
So I can’t wait to find out what my cousin’s explanation’s going to be. Have you guessed? Yup, the world didn’t end only because of their intervention. They prayed all day and night and the allmighty heard their pleading and granted us all a reprieve.
Point? Religion attracts and exploits the weak-minded. Always has, always will. It’s a shame, but what can you do? Let 'em have their space. Understand their need to believe and don’t ask questions.
Just promise that those of us staying behind will throw one big mother of a party. My place will be fine. BYOB, of course. And don’t forget to thank my cousin for today!
Think good thoughts…
Well, my favorite part of that website is from the Rapture survival guide…
“However, since you have decided to reject Christ’s offer to join in the rapture, your concern is how to maintain good health in the post rapture era. You must build a supply of multiple vitamins with particular emphasis on anti-oxidants such as C and E and minerals. It will also be necessary to have a supply of disinfectants, particularly one that can be added to water to make it potable.”
“I’m sorry, you rejected Christ…now you’re going to have to get scurvey”
I asked him, “When the Rapture comes, can I have your car?”
I’ll let you guys know, and I hope he has a nice car…
Yer pal,
Satan
*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, one week, two days, 2 hours, 41 minutes and 14 seconds.
7684 cigarettes not smoked, saving $960.56.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes.
I slept with a moderator!*
