Scientific Evidence that the Rapture is Nigh!

[John_Kentzel-Griffin]

If I get a 666 tattoo will that make these people go away sooner? Should I get the tattoo on my forehead or my right hand?

I looked at their message boards. You know, they even have a The Great Debates forum just like here. Well, maybe not just like here. The sole moderator (of the whole board not just The Great Debates) Drachemorder used this in some of his sigs “That’s right … I AM a wacko right-wing Bible-thumping fundamentalist anti-evolution ignorant anti-abortion intolerant homophobic bigoted rednecked Jesus freak!” I copied it from their Creationism vs. Evolution thread. I will not be registering over there!

Thank you Scylla…Sorry, I mean your Eminence.

[Satan]

Yes, you can have my car Brian, but I’m sure you’ll be able to find other cars closer to where you live. You should bare in mind, after the rapture, the value of material possession will decrease rapidly.

I am replying:

“Why would the value of the car depreciate? I mean, will cars not work during the thousand year reign of the antichrist? Or will the roads just fall apart? If it’s the latter, you know anyone who has a Hummer I can have when the Rapture happens?”

This could get silly… Even though I think he believes this stuff…

---

Yer pal,
Satan

*TIME ELAPSED SINCE I QUIT SMOKING:
Six months, one week, two days, 4 hours, 35 minutes and 57 seconds.
7687 cigarettes not smoked, saving $960.95.
Extra time with Drain Bead: 3 weeks, 5 days, 16 hours, 35 minutes.

I slept with a moderator!*

[system]

*Originally posted by ren *
**

04 Unemployment:
The US economy has improved, reducing the chances of any major
job losses.

So, what, the rapture is purely an American phenomenon?
**

Center of the world and the new promised land, dontcha know!

**
Personally, I can’t wait for the rapture. Once all them jeezoids are gone it’s gonna be a lot quieter here for the rest of us…

**

Oh yeah. Hmm, gotta work on pushing up the impiety index.

[Phobos]

There will be a great earthquake, the sun will be blackened, the moon will turn red …

The sun, moon and stars will be darkened by one-third.

The sun will scorch the people on earth with fierce heat.

So…the sun will both darken and brighten at the same time?
The moon turns red quite frequently…it’s called a lunar eclipse.

A third of the earth, one-third of all trees and all the green grass will be burned up due to a comet or meteor that hits the earth.

A meteor will hit the earth causing the sea to become like blood, killing one-third of all sea creatures and destroying one-third of all shipping.

I doubt a bit of space dust will destroy the Earth. Meteors hit the Earth’s atmosphere every day and burn up nicely. I assume he means an asteroid. But I nitpick.

A “star” named Wormwood will fall from the sky and poison one-third of all fresh water killing many people.

There is no star named Wormwood (so, no one name one, ok?). I suppose the quotes around “star” leave it open to interpretation.

Fearsome locust-like beings will be released from underground who only attack people who are not followers of Jesus Christ. These attacks will be very painful but last only 5 months.

An army of 200 million horse-like creatures will kill one-third of mankind.

With fierce, gnashing teeth!

[Rasa]

Hmm, the Moral Standards index hasn’t shown any activity lately. Does anyone else sense a challenge? I say we band together and try to bump that index up a notch.

[betenoir]

Does anybody have any idea why King Juan Carlos of Spain is listed as an option in the Rature Ready “Who do you think will turn out to be the Antichrist?” poll? Or why he won? (Against Clinton, the Pope, Puttin, Bill Gates and Prince Charles.)

Even Prince Charles makes some sort of very convoluted sense, but Juan Carlos?

[system]

*Originally posted by Phobos *

Fearsome locust-like beings will be released from underground who only attack people who are not followers of Jesus Christ. These attacks will be very painful but last only 5 months.

An army of 200 million horse-like creatures will kill one-third of mankind.

With fierce, gnashing teeth!
**

And then we will be afflicted by berries and grains which, although seeming to be normal afflict us with great flatulence and incontince. And woe, there will be little fiber so that we will bloat like large ladies who have eaten so much large. And the air will smell badly for this.

[Captain_Amazing]

*Originally posted by betenoir *
**Does anybody have any idea why King Juan Carlos of Spain is listed as an option in the Rature Ready “Who do you think will turn out to be the Antichrist?” poll? Or why he won? (Against Clinton, the Pope, Puttin, Bill Gates and Prince Charles.)

Even Prince Charles makes some sort of very convoluted sense, but Juan Carlos? **

I’m working from memory here, so sorry if I’m getting this wrong, but I think Juan Carlos is either (or would be, if either of them still existed), King of Jerusalem or Holy Roman Emperor.

The Kingdom of Jerusalem was one of those crusader kingdoms that disappeared as the crusaders lost. I know that in the 14th century, the titular King of Jerusalem (Hugh de Lusignan?) made a pest of himself going from royal court to royal court begging for a crusade so that he could get his kingdom back…it didn’t work.

The Holy Roman Empire was, of course, the confederation of German, Italian, and Eastern European states, nominally under the control of an Emperor (who also claimed sovergnty over all of western Europe)

If I had to guess, based on the designer of the site, Juan Carlos is the heir to the HRE. These people really don’t seem to like the idea of any organization of European states with the name “Roman Empire” in it.

[DavisMcDavis]

29. Liberalism
    It’s not just a part of the democratic party. liberalism is what I would call the “true conspiracy.” The liberal media is 100 percent control by the forces that bow to this humanistic ideology.

Is there a rule somewhere that you can’t be a Christian and have subject-verb agreement? It just never happens. Let Jesus in your heart, and throw your grammar and spelling book out the window. Praise Him!

[betenoir]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Captain Amazing *
**

I’m working from memory here, so sorry if I’m getting this wrong, but I think Juan Carlos is either (or would be, if either of them still existed), King of Jerusalem or Holy Roman Emperor.
**

Really? Wow. I guess that’s the kind of stuff rapture ready people whould be up on, but I’m still kind of surprised he won over Clinton and the ever popular Pope.
I guess it’s the European Commonwealth= beast with ten horns= Holy Roman Empire thing. Do they think he’s going to take over the EC on the basis of his heireditary right?

[Ike_Witt]

*Originally posted by Phobos *
**
A “star” named Wormwood will fall from the sky and poison one-third of all fresh water killing many people.

There is no star named Wormwood (so, no one name one, ok?). I suppose the quotes around “star” leave it open to interpretation.

**
[/QUOTE]

Isn’t Wormwood used to make Absinthe? Maybe that means “they” are going to dump boatloads of Absinthe into fresh water. Nobody will be killed, but the people that do drink it will have killer hangovers.
DrMatrix said

If I get a 666 tattoo will that make these people go away sooner? Should I get the tattoo on my forehead or my right hand?

You should get it on your forehead for sure. If it is on your hand some smartass will say “It’s not 666 it’s 999”.

[quasar]

*Originally posted by Phobos *

Fearsome locust-like beings will be released from underground who only attack people who are not followers of Jesus Christ. These attacks will be very painful but last only 5 months.

Lunar month? Regular month? I need specifics! This is my life we are talking about.

[jab1]

I looked at that site. It’s GOT to be a gag, a parody of sites like Left Behind or The Pizza Parlor.

I bet that somewhere, the creator of this site is laughing his ass off.

BTW, the Russian word for “wormwood” is “chernobyl.” Some folks thought the nuclear accident there was a sign of Armageddon.

[Tinker_Grey]

*Originally posted by jab1 *
BTW, the Russian word for “wormwood” is “chernobyl.” Some folks thought the nuclear accident there was a sign of Armageddon. **

This question showed up in a thread in GQ.

The best connection, IMHO, is given by the OPer (MEBuckner) himself/herself near the end of the thread. The connection is rather tenuous, though.

Tinker

[El_Kabong]

The liberal media is 100 percent control by the forces that bow to this humanistic ideology

Bow to my humanistic ideology, o forces of the media!

signed,

A Liberal

P.S.: Turn off your spell checkers.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

*Originally posted by DavisMcDavis *
Is there a rule somewhere that you can’t be a Christian and have subject-verb agreement? It just never happens. Let Jesus in your heart, and throw your grammar and spelling book out the window. Praise Him! **

Umm, you do know how bigoted & ignorant this statement is, right? We have a lot of Christians right here on the SDMB that would have a problem with this statement, and I am one of them. I will admit, that with fanaticism, reason tends to be missing to a large degree, but that’s why we call them fanatics.

ren:“Once all the jeezoids are gone its gonna be a lot quieter here for the rest of us”. Try replacing the perjoritive word "jeezoid’ with the perjoritive words “niggers’ or 'wetbacks”, or "jewboys’, and you can see just how offensive & bigoted this line was. Or maybe you can’t.

[Danielinthewolvesden]

<sigh>, its “pejorative”. oops

[Ike_Witt]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Danielinthewolvesden *
**

ren:“Once all the jeezoids are gone its gonna be a lot quieter here for the rest of us”. Try replacing the perjoritive word "jeezoid’ with the perjoritive words “niggers’ or 'wetbacks”, or "jewboys’, and you can see just how offensive & bigoted this line was. Or maybe you can’t.
**

Once you “jeezoids” are in the minority than maybe this exercise wouldn’t be a futile as it would be now. Maybe after the rapture you “jeezoids” will be in the minority until then I don’t think that anybody is going to buy your oppressed majority BS.

[John_Kentzel-Griffin]

*Originally posted by ***adam yax **

You should get it on your forehead for sure. If it is on your hand some smartass will say “It’s not 666 it’s 999”.

Got it. Thanks. I wouldn’t want to look stupid.

Satan said that he doesn’t know if the guy believes this stuff. I dunno if he does, but this was posted in the Interesting E-mail I’ve received

Are you rapture Ready?:

Here in the Hattan household, we have Rapture drills at least once every week. I’ve got a cassette tape of trumpets blowing. At some point during the week, I play the tape. When anyone in the house hears the tape, they know to immediately leave the house and stand in the middle of the yard, so as not to cause damage to ceilings or trees during the actual rising-portion of the Rapture proper

:rolleyes:

*Originally posted by ***jab1 **
BTW, the Russian word for “wormwood” is “chernobyl.” .

Not according to my Russian cow-orkers.

[Lux_Fiat]

Let 'em have their space. Understand their need to believe and don’t ask questions.

This, of course, is the same sort of reasoning that keeps the Miss America pageant on television year after year.