Scotsman having sex with bicycle...

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

From here:

BBC website

This gentleman was sentenced to three years probation for having simulated sex with his bike. Fair enough you might think.

But the report says that this was in his own bedroom! He was found by cleaners when they used the master key to open the door for cleaning.

So, whatever about the morality of sexual relations with bicycles, how could he be guilty of a

while in private and alone in his own room? The door was obviously locked as the cleaners needed to use their key to get in.

I wonder if he was related to Flann O’Brien?

2

It’s because he was “simulating” sex. If he had actually been having sex with the bicycle, there would have been no crime. He should have known better.

3

I don’t get it either. I mean, yes, he was in a hotel room, but let’s just say the same thing happened and they walked in while he was having sex with a woman or a man. Would he still be in trouble?

Is it just because it’s such a non-sexual item?

(Speaking of which, could someone PLEASE tell me how you have sex with a bicycle if you’re male?)

4

I think he just wanted to try that “bisexuality” he was hearing about.

5

But trisexuality with a tricycle is three times as much fun!

6

Bikesexuality.

7

By being on the receiving end.

8

“And now for something completely different… a Scotsman on a bicycle.”

9

:smack: D’oh! I should have known I was setting myself up for that.
But…really? Let me ask the question that’s on everybody’s mind.
WHAT THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH A DILDO???

10

Hey, wait, I think we need to consider this point. Did the bicycle give its consent?

As for the ‘simulating’ part, I’ve never seen two bicycles having sex, so I wouldn’t have a clue how to simulate that. Maybe some of you more worldly types could help me out there.

11

No bolts about it. The lad is f*cking nuts.

12
  1. remove the seat
  2. go for a ride
  3. profit!
13

The bicycle has ten speeds.

14

:eek:
Good lord, I’m naive.

15

No true Scotsman would do such a thing.

16

But would a Scottish bicycle do such a thing?

17

You call that sex? I must be doing it wrong.

18

Poor little bicycle got it’s wheelie popped.

19

Profit? :eek:

20

“It’s driving me nuts.”