Goddamnit if there’s been a multi-pager thread on ass-wiping, then damnit I’m doing one about itchy groins. There’s another recent t.m.i. thread on…the tip of my tongue…of course I’ll remember it right after I post this.
Face it - we’ve all been there, right? Men - when they get all sweaty and sliding around in there, usually in public spaces? Ladies - especially on those humid days, your pudenda may get a little…well, I guess I’ve never personally experienced it, so maybe some keen elucidation could be proferred forth?
What’s been the worst possible scenarios you’ve found yourselves in when that ignoble need has arisen? Giving lectures? Getting chewed out by the principal when you were a kid? During wedding vows? Talking to a cop? A first-time acquaintance with someone you’d like to meet again?
And what’s with the ridiculously crude stereotype of young Italian men scratching their packages? If I was Italian I would take maybe a bit more offense to that.
A few directions this can be scratched around.
**
THIS IS AN STD-FREE THREAD**
I don’t think women get itchy there as a general rule unless there is a health issue. At least, I don’t personally experience that problem. However, once we had a house full of churchy relatives of an in-law and my left nipple started itching so badly that I pretended to be looking in the fridge for something so I could scratch it behind the door.
Seal Cleaner, are you male or female? Or, rather, now that querying other people’s gender is discouraged (unless you’re in North Carolina), let me phrase the question as: do you have ovaries? Because if you have 'em you should know that the use of talcum powder has been implicated as a cause of ovarian cancer.
Tibby or Not Tibby - I knew a cat named Tibby (sometimes Tibs) that I’m sure could put the ole Cat Scratch Fever into any pair of pants.
I was trying to think of the worst possible thing to wear when the itch happens and decided it’s the mankini.
Not that I ever wore one, but it’s the grossest thing I could think of.
um, actually it hasn’t. Although there is some fuss about the issue. It’s kind of hard to think of a plausible mechanism for how talcum powder could possibly cause ovarian cancer. I mean, if the stuff is carcinogenic, and you apply it to your crotch, you could get skin cancer of the crotch, which would really suck. But that doesn’t seem to happen. And yet it magically transports itself into the abdomen through a lot of tissues and causes ovarian cancer without affecting any of the other intervening tissues?
Wrong. I won’t dispute that balls occasionally itch, but you don’t have to scratch. “Didn’t Scratch Balls” has never been cited as cause of death in a single coroner’s report in all of human history - you can check.
The discomfort you feel from not doing so will pass. The impression you make doing so in public lingers.
If it’s really bad I gotta take 'em out to do it right. Then it’s a big pain in the butt because I have to explain to people that they’re not swollen, they’re just naturally that big.