Ouch. What’d I say to deserve that? 
Fuck you… You are too attractive.
And yeah, I think I am, most of the time. If you like that skinny heroin San Franciscan kinda look. Which alot of people seem to.
No, damnit, I meant if you were a female with “endowments” such as mine trying to impersonate a guy. Sheesh, don’t get upset. ::sits in his lap and strokes his ego::
I’m not attractive at all; I’m just kinda odd looking. I’ve got a big nose, a pointy chin, no tits, proportionatly big hips, bad acne even though I’m pretty sure I should have left puberty behind at this point, and I’ve got awful hair. Awful awful big dumb stupid curly hair.
My friends do the same thing. One of my female friends and I got drunk and made out with each other once, and whenever I say I don’t like the way I look, she says “I don’t make out with ugly people!”
Always makes me feel a little better. . .
Well, it’s like this: I don’t mind chest and gut hair, nor leg hair nor butt-hair. All that seems to be just part of being a man.
But I can’t stand hairy knuckles (which I have, so I shave them. Seriously. Try not to laugh too hard.) and a hairy back. This I also have, and I hate it. If I could reach it I would shave it, too. Unfortunately, I have to enlist someone else to do this. No mean feat, that.
In any case, as long as I keep my back nicely shorn, I can get away without looking like Robin Williams when I’m at the waterpark.
Yes, but in this thread we don’t care what other people think.
Thank you though.
Short answer. I can be sexy. But I’m not pretty.
Long answer:
I’m too tall, my face is funny (nose too big, eyes just wierd, etc), my figure needs a lot of work and I utterly ignore improvement aids such as makeup and decent clothes.
On the plus side, if I took care of my hands I’d have great nails, I love my hair. (Love it, love it, cherish it)
Where does the sexy part come in? Usually with sex. I have a nice (modesty aside, wonderful) personality and no hang ups about pretty much anything sexual. Sex is damned fun. Once you’re there, you are you and it doesn’t matter anymore, just be happy. I will bet I’m better in bed than any bored supermodel or drunk sorority chick. I take pride in it and I love it. That’s how I get to thinking I’m sexy.
Well, since the general consensus is that oldscratch and I look like brother and sister, (um, eew!) I guess I am too then. In the same tall, skinny, heroin chic sorta way.
Plus, I can walk incredible distances with books on my head.
What I do like about myself:
My hair: Dark reddish-brown, looks good either in its spiral curls or straight.
My eyes: Weird-looking, shadowed really well in picture, blue with marbled green/grey swirls and gold flecks.
Skin: Somewhat olive/Native American complected, relatively unblemished. Tans easily, pales easily.
Face shape: Pretty much a heart-shaped face, definitive jaw & chin.
I can’t stand:
My nose: Most of the time.
My lips: Too thin IMHO.
My teeth: Crooked, tiny, and covered by braces.
My body: I need to lose about 20 pounds, which soccer should help me do.
Overall opinion: I’m okay. I need some work, but not too much, because I don’t feel like plastic surgery will really ever make me happier.
Wow, Medea’s Child pretty much summed up the way I feel about myself too.
I have different flaws: looking at my hips it’s QUITE obvious that I’ve given birth three times. I’m very short-waisted so I look sorta chunky even when I’m not. I have very skinny arms and legs proportionally to my body. My nose tries to be Hebrew at the top and somehow slope into Gentile, and it comes out sorta weird at the end. I always ALWAYS have a pot-belly, and am too lazy to get rid of it. I have 80,000,000,000 stretch marks; my tits sag, and always have.
I have different things I like: I have almost perfect cupid’s-bow lips, and they are always soft. In short skirts, I have fantastic legs. The hubman insists that my ass fills out the back of a pair of trousers very nicely.
This part, though:
…could have been directly lifted from my personal philosophy on sexiness. I think that’s part of why I sometimes may seem to seek out validation sexually; I know I’m not that much to look at, but that if I get someone in bed they have a damned good time.
Man, I am SO glad I’m not in therapy. It’s so much more fun to figure this shit out in front of 12,000 strangers. :rolleyes:
Whaddayaknow? That’s how you get me thinking you’re sexy, too!
I wonder what else we have in common?
…
Oh yeah! That whole “good in bed” thing. I will make your body feel like the hallowed vessel it is through devout worship and delicate ministrations.
Or, I can blindfold you, pull your hair, spank your ass and talk dirty to you and otherwise treat you like the bad girl (read: dirty slut) that you are. Whatever you like, I am versatile.
Nope. I am under no illusions. Think of what society finds attractive in a woman. I am the polar opposite. I don’t give a flying fuck about it most of the time, though.
I hate my hair. It’s extremely fine and it takes a ton of gel just to keep it from standing up in a big poof-ball.
My eyes are nicely colored, but oddly-shaped. They droop at the sides, and my right eyelid doesn’t open as far as my left one. Not to mention that my top and bottom eyelashes get stuck together on the outsides all the time and I have to separate them with my fingers every few minutes or it gets uncomfortable.
My nose is too small, knobby, and shaped like a ski slope.
My lips are too thick and my mouth is too small.
My skin is pale and burns in (literally) about fifteen minutes on a sunny day. And then I get more freckles. Damned freckles.
I have bad acne that refuses to go away, despite the amount of prescription medicines I’m currently using.
On my left cheek, I have a hair that is black, about a quarter-inch long, and grows back to full length in a matter of hours.
I have no muscles. Instead I have fat. My stomach bulges.
I like my arms, except for a mole on my left hand.
I have childbearing hips. Except I’m male.
And personality-wise, I am not in any way good at talking to people, I regret the things I say more often than not, and I think I come across as kind of mean without realizing it.
Sexy but not attractive seems to be a running theme here. Strangely, I’m the opposite… Not bad looking at all, even fairly handsome at times, (there are definitely uglier guys out there who have women all over them) but I have no sex appeal. I am the sensitive, unassuming male, honorary eunuch or homosexual.
For years before her death, my grandmother used to look at me and say “You are so handsome…” with a longing sound in her voice. I always chalked it up to typical grandmotherly-love, but after a couple of years, goddamnit, I AM handsome. Confidence plays a large part in that. I stand up straight, I look people in the eye, I smile more often, I’m not as stiff and rigid, and I FEEL more handsome because I’m confident.
So, once I got past the hang-up of whether I’m attractive or not and decided that I really was, everyone else suddenly seemed to agree with me.
Eh.
I’m tall, dark, and handsome. I’m well-built and well-proportioned.
I’m hairy. Not Robin Williams hairy, but my arms and legs are hairy. (While out swimming last summer, two friends, Brian and Sarah, arrived late. Brian is quite hairier than I am. As they entered the pool, I said “Aww, before you two got here, I was both the hairiest and cutest person in the pool.”)
My nose is crooked, ever so slightly, in a nice way. I got an unexpected compliment on it from a longtime friend and was on cloud nine for the rest of the day.
I’ve got about thirty square inches of scar tissue on my right shin. Chyx may dig scars, but I do feel somewhat self-conscious about that huge rubbery pink splotch. It’s faded slightly in the past year, but I’m not exactly looking forward to shorts-and-tshirt weather. (Well, it’ll be better than last year, when I had a scab of the same size on my leg.)
Stubble looks good on me, and my girlfriend likes it. And with the Tom Landry hat, I’m just irresistable. (And apparently arrogant, too. But if I wear it long enough, the Vikings will win the Super Bowl, I promise.)
And stuff.
::head remains swollen::
I try to, but after years and years of wishing I was somebody else, it sure is damn hard.
But oh, I’m getting there.
I’m tall.
I have a paunch and kind of big thighs compared to the rest of my frame.
I’m mostly skinny.
I have man breasts.
I have hair in a cool pattern on my chest.
I have a monobrow.
I have glasses.
My glasses distort my eyes.
I have a nice smile.
I have a stupid laugh.
My hair is thick and lustrous.
It’s thick and lustrous because it’s half Scottish and half Korean. That also means that it can’t decide whether it’s curly or straight.
I have a nice penis.
I don’t have a nice ass.
Too bad it IS honorary…
When I’m on my game, I am one seriously sweet hunk of man-candy. Well, physically there are a couple of things I’d change, namely my hairline which resembles the coastline of Norway, and my slight paunch from years of boozing, but overall I think I’m attractive. Now I just have to make the ladies see it…