Just back from a date which turns out to be the last time I’m going to see her. First time I took her out for a nice dinner date she mentioned that when she goes out with her male friends she never winds up paying for dinner. Made me a little uneasy and I filed that for future reference.
Fast forward a while, we hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks and she was very excited to get together, talk about our holidays, etc. SHE asks ME out to dinner.
Dinner is going well, check comes, she doesn’t even glance at it. Eventually I ask if she’d like to split it. Her response is to literally LAUGH and say “No” as if she’d never heard of such a thing.
Pause for a minute. Smile leaves my face. “Do you want me to pay the whole thing?” “Yes! And thanks for dinner!”
OK. Opinion of girl drops like Wile E. Coyote going off a cliff. I pay and cancel my suggestion of us going somewhere for coffee/dessert since at this point I don’t want to pay for that as well.
Pleasant chit-chat, exit Valgard.
If I want to be somebody’s meal ticket I’ll let them know about it right up front. Take a fucking hike.
Shit, I should have handed the waitress my share of the tab and walked out.
It’s not the price (inexpensive restaurant and both of us earn nice salaries) but the barefaced expectation and sheer rude manners (laugh at me?) that pisses me off.
She sounds like a piece of work. Barefaced (and completely out of date) expectation and sheer rudeness, indeed. Good for you for not buying into her helpless female fantasy or whatever excuse she has for being so…so…rude. I don’t know what else to call it.
Aren’t you glad you found this out about her NOW? Look for her ad in your local personals section, she’ll be sure to mention that she enjoys being spoiled and taken care of.
If you know some creepy old lech, set her up with him.
Think of it this way: For the low, low price of only two pairs of dinners, you found out she wasn’t worth your time. Aren’t you glad you found this out after a few weeks instead of a few years?
Heh. Sounds quite a lot like someone I know, but in my acquaintance’s case she’s been working as a stripper for several years and has come to assume that men are obligated to pay for the privilege of her company.
Well, at least you found out now. It was the bit about the laugh that got to me. Wow. So much entitlement, so little justification. Like she’d never even heard of paying her way. Good lord.
Wait a minute, here. Did you invite her out for dinner? Without a prior agreement that the bill would be split? I’m old and out of touch, I suppose, but if I asked a woman out for dinner, it would never occur to me that she should pay anything at all, let alone half. In fact, if I asked a woman out for a date, I would expect to pay for anything and everything we did while on that date. Have times changed that much?
You might want to go back and read the second paragraph of the OP again.
Times have changed enough that if a woman asked me out, yes I’d expect her to at least split it. Any other circumstances, I’d expect to pay it all, and be pleasantly surprised if I didn’t have to.
Good riddance, Valgard!
I’m Dutch, (you know the expression “lets go Dutch”, right?) so this girl’s behaviour makes my jaw fall open.
That said, purely for amusement’s sake let me quote this tip on how to handle such women. It comes from the Don Juan Forum, a forum for guys who want to become, well, Don Juans. As a woman, I like to hear what advice they give each other. This one, although rather coldly put, has some truth to it.
As a number of folks pointed out I am glad I found this out now rather than later (although how could anyone miss the signs until later?). At least this dinner was at an Ethiopian restaurant, mountains of great food yet inexpensive
On the one hand I wish there was some way to politely let a woman know that it’s nice for her to at least offer to split the check (on those first few dates until there’s an actual relationship, then I relax more), on the other hand the women I get along with already know it. Just got to find where they’re all hanging out…
So Maastricht, yes I’m familiar with the term “going Dutch” and I’ve got to ask is it normal for Dutch men & women?