Watching TV last night with the wife, there came upon our TV an ad for Vagisil Anti-Itch Wipes.
I commented to my wife how there are some days-- usually of the hot, summer variety-- where I, too, could sure use a cool and refreshing anti-itch wipe down on the ol’ undercarriage.
And so began my quest to develop the perfect pocket-sized masculine hygiene product.
At first I thought we could call this product “Penisil,” but then realized it would be used not-so-much on the penis itself.
So then, I named it “Testicil,” but again realized that no one’s crossing these wipes over the actual testes, but rather the scrotum.
Hence, I’ve begun work on developing Scrotacil Anti-Itch Wipes. I figure I’ll start off by offering it in three varieties: “Regular,” “Menthol” and “Cherry-Musk.” I’m also taking suggestions for future smells/flavors.
These pads would not only refresh, but would mask odor and serve as a mild anti-perspirant, and an added medication would also ease the relentless burn that comes from constantly scratching and peeling one’s ballsack off of one’s inner thigh.
I’d think you’d want to keep it dry rather than moisten it. We ladies sometimes have a similar difficulty when, braless, the Girls relax and spread themselves out over the top half of our torso. Gets pretty steamy under there, and you don’t want to make it wetter with a baby wipe, ya wanna get some talcum powder under there to dry it out.
You do, of course realise, that we women do not like bacon flavoured nads, right? I mean, I like bacon as much as the next guy, but NOT on my man’s nads.
ETA, sorry, you’re not teh gay, are you? Because if you are, then I totally understand the bacon flavour request, and disregard my earlier comment. :smack:
And I think Scroticil is a terrible name–it sounds too medicinal, like something that only old men with remedial needs would be caught buying. Running words through the name generator turns up:
Banitals.
Which is perfect. Except that the Kao Corporation would have your ass in trademark infringement court in a new york minute.
Menthol is bad down there. Very, very bad. Do not ask me how I know this empirically.
Incidentally, I seem to recall some years back that Gold Bond medicated powder used to advertise that it “stops male itch.” For some reason they have not touted this particular benefit since I saw that one brief campaign back in the late 90s.
But yeah. Dryness is good, so I’m not entirely sure a damp wipe, however refreshing and/or bacony, will have long-term benefits.
Litoris brings up a good point. From a third party perspective, are there some flavours (Bacon, Hickory, Smoky Ranch) that are more male oriented and some (Lavender, Vanilla, Chamomille) that are more female oriented?
You know, as much as I love Bacon, Vanilla, and Ranch, I really don’t think I want any of those flavors or smells around my man’s junk. Just…no. And especially no flower scents. I think this is a place where we should probably just let nature be, you know?