Myrr, this is a FIGHT! Don’t go saying “please” on me!! This is when you’re supposed to be macho and push me and my wussy string instrument aside!! 
But you’re too much of a gentleman for that, aren’t you?
See, that’s the thing about the tuba. On the surface, it’s the ultimate macho instrument–it’s big, and really frickin loud. But once you start playing, you quickly discover that your part consists mostly of playing four notes over and over and over…on the plus side, if another section’s screwing up, you can always drown them out 
But yeah, I don’t think I could push you aside without feeling guilty…
::sigh::
Samshing pianos, OTOH:
::whap:
MMMPH! MMMMPH!
:::wriggles free of snare:::
Tone deaf? I’ll give you tone-deaf, you, you, you DRUMMER you!
:::grabs Dave’s sticks, jams one in each of his ears, hops on his back, & rides him around the room:::
Hey Dave! What do drummers use for contraception? Their personalities! BWAAAAAAHahahahaha!
Having watched the festivities long enough, I drop quickly to minor key, for that moody feel, and leap from the upper balcony, with a rather sharply filed sitar in hand …
YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
::whumph:: (damn that’s a hard floor)
Little help down here?
BTW, how do you get a professionl drummer off your front porch?
Take your pizza and tell him to keep the change.
I knew you were a gent, Myrr. That’s why I flirt with you.
Hey Jack, would some Hamburger Helper make you feel better after that nasty fall?
Aww, thankee 
Now, care to point that violin bow elsewhere?
owwwie!
Seeind as how I can hardly read music, I’m not much of an instrument player myself. Now singing - that I can do.
::Stands in a shadowy corner & sings Brittney Spears songs just loud enough to be heard every now & then::
[Homer Simpson impersonation] Mmmm, Hamburger Helpery [/Homer Simpson impersonation]
::Totally incapacited, but pleasently full::
Thanks Audrey, I needed that. I’ll watch your back.
Alright, so any of you ladies play the French Horn.
::Fortissimo high C on my trumpet to drown out Britney before it really starts to get to me::
Where’s the SDMB 19th when I need them?
Nothing personal, you understand, but…
::kills ** Sakura ** ::
Now, where did that cute violinist get off to?
Watch it, Myrr, I’ve got Jack covering my back!
[hey that rhymes!]
It was nice knowing Sakura. Too bad about her choice in music. Who’s gonna break the news to Dave?
Don’t worry about it, Audrey.
Myrr, here’s your money. Now get out of town and change your name, like we agreed.
:::revives Sakura:::
FYI: This is the BMZ, okay? No Britney Allowed.
But if you really want to honk them off, sing Celine. Heh.
:::picks up husbands cheap-ass bass & goes headhunting:::
Well, y’all better not blame me–I was driven to insanity by that awful screeching.
As for that crippled putz on the floor–you think he’s gonna stop me?
::Grins manaically; advances slowly with tuba::
What is that horrible screaching? It sounds vaguely like Christine Aguilara, or possibly Britney Spears (feh, what’s the difference?)
It’s . . . it’s . . . coming from over there.
Must … get … Sakura.
:: Picking up freshly filed Sitar, drawing a bead on the horrible caterwalling ::
Let’s get her boys!!
::thinking fast, Audrey stuffs Hamburger Helper down Myrr’s tuba::
French Horn?
Hey, if I got my lips on the top half, and my fingers halfway up the bottom half, it better fucking well NOT be made out of brass.
Hoo-hah! Flung finger cymbals? I repel finger cymbals with an open-hole Gemeinhardt flute, spinning like a baton! Like Wonder Woman and her magic bracelets! And the Sousaphone protects most of my other bits!
Now, how do I work the piano and the tenor saxophone in here?
Apparently my 12 foot fall and Hamburger Helper overdose has thrown me into some sort of time warp.
Oh well, mission accomplished anyway.
As for you, Myrr, leave my little Audrey-chef alone (I love the way she makes a smiley face in the pan with that fake sour cream that comes with the Stroganoff), this Sitar swings bothways you know!
::whirls his timpani mallets around like nunchuks::
Hey, you can’t kill my daughter again! I forbid it! I also can’t afford it! She promises not to do Britney anymore.
Besides, her Mel Torme is much better. Do it for the people, honey. (it’s really good, she’ll do it for you). Come on, honey, do Mel. (she’s shy. Wait, I’ll get her to do it)