SDMB All-Out Musicians' Brawl

OK, so we got Ukelele Ike, aka Horn Boy, DAVEW0071, aka Drum Troll, and me, aka Compleat Amateur Fiddler, all starting it up in Anthracite’s conductor thread. I didn’t wanna take it to the Bar Fight since that’s already going strong. So I figured I’d take it to the Pit… the Orchestra Pit, that is.

This is it, fellow Doper musicians. Bring it and defend the honor of your section. :smiley:

Mind if I bring my xylophone?

definition: a violinist who’s irretrievably smashed the screeching thing, yet is prepared to whine without pay. Still demands to sit up the front of the orchestra.

As a drummer who gave up the bassoon because it was too cumbersome and whose best-known moment is a recorder solo, I feel I am beyond further musical humiliation.


Gwee-tarist here.

  • Samick Accoustic (I’m told its a subcompany of Yamaha, who knows?)
  • Fender Squire Bullet that I bout for $100 15 years ago.
  • Gibson Les Paul Studio that I lifted form my cousin and repainted because he decided it would look cool all striped up like Eddie Van Halen’s guitar, putz.

:: old joke to follow::

What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians?
A drummer.

:wink: I’m kidding of course. My drumming skills don’t go past 4/4.

You’re hired.

Yet another gitter player here.

Yamana classical. I stick with the steel strings regardless of the blood.

Epiphone Rivera jazz-type hollow-body. Great tone. Mellow and thoughtful

DeArmond solid body screamer. Good fuzztone with the right effects.

I’m yours. Hurt me.

Cellist, violinist, self taught guitarist & pianist here. Gotta get some bungee cords to strap on all those intruments.

Gee-tar, baby!

1 Washburn Acoustic, 1 Suzuki Classical, 1 Stratocaster, 1 Ukulele for lightweight battle.

Trombonist here, actually a bass trombonist, but I haven’t played in almost a year. I’ve also been trying to learn the bass, but haven’t had a chance lately to play with it.

Piano - classical though; don’t really know any rock songs

Guitar - rhythm, not lead

Flute - quite rusty

Alto/mezzo voice - you’ll need a singer, right?

hey! I didn’t know we could bring more than one talent!
Then I am alos bring along my piano, bells, timpani, drums,guitar, and trumpet.
Alto 2 voice range.<sometimes also 1>

Low reeds unite! Tenor saxophonist checking in. Also vocal major with range.

Let’s see…

  • violinist with 9 years experience

  • Soprano II vocalist

  • mediocre guitar player.

That good enough?

And before anyone starts with the trombone jokes, remember: We’re the only musicians authorized to carry loaded squirt bottles at all times.

Come along, this is supposed to be a brawl.


Not rusty enough IMHO.

The second half of this sentence is redundant.

A year long tacit: that’s a good start.

The major disadvantage of the bass trombonist is it takes 'em longer to drown when you neglect to remind them to open the spit valve.

By “the right effects”, I take it you mean someone filled up the jack with putty.

Indeed. You have nothing to lose. Really.


Saxophonist here. I have an alto, but prefer bari. I can also sing from alto II to soprano II. Used to be soprano I but I’ve been smoking for 11 years. Sounds pretty stupid singing pop music; was classically trained. Some flute. Contra-alto clarinet. Euphonium.

Go go gadget moi.

*Originally posted by picmr *

Oh, it’s a brawl you want? Well then, may I point out that you, with your proclivities towards phallic-shaped instruments, would provide Freud with quite an interesting subject for psychoanalysis.

The recorder? What’s your next virtuoso performance going to be on, the comb-and-tissue-paper?

And we all know what they say about drummers.


Very out-of-practice tuba player here…and susa-ma-phone…

And my instrument can beat up your instrument. Ha!

Okay, fine.

:: Picks up my Les Paul (a very heavy and solid instrument, indeed) and begins swinging it around, while screaming, “Who want’s a piece o’ this?” ::

If that doesn’t stir up some shit, I swear to God I’ll play Stairway to Heaven. That’ll learn ya.

hey missbunny, how about us pianists teaming up?