SDMB creates a new series: Stein Trek

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

My wife was telling me she was watching some re-runs last night due to insomnia, and because of sleep deprivation, invented a great spoonerism: Stein Trek

I hereby invite all Dopers to create this new series. I can see it now: A young Captain Kirk leads the crew of the Steinship Enterprise on a five-year mission through the beer halls of Bavaria and Bohemia.

Rules? This is not a Hollywood “treatment”; throw in whatever you want. Casting, story ideas, equipment, plots, whatever. IOW, no rules.

I’ll start:

Whenever there’s an “away mission”, there’s always one guy in a red shirt who collapses on the floor of the beer hall in a little heap. Immediately, Dr. McCoy goes over to check him, and announces: “He’s pickled, Jim.”

If this goes well, I’m assuming we’ll have Stein Trek: TNG and Stein Trek: Deep Stein 9. I’d stay away from Stein Trek: Voyager, though – it sounds like a bunch of drunks in a minivan.

Let the games begin.

2

Beer, the Final Frontier…
These are the voyages of the Beership Steinterprise.
Its five year mission, to explore strange new beer halls, to seek out new beers and new beer making processes,
To boldly drink where no man has drunk before…

3

awwww, I misread the title of the OP. I thought it said “Sein-Trek”, which opens a whole new realm of possiblity…

(I should type a short, amusing Star Trek/Seinfeld spoof here, but I can’t think of anything…)

Novus Opiate

4

Dang, and here I was envisioning Ben Stein aboard the Enterprise… He’d make the darlingest Vulcan!!

otoh, on Stein Trek, all the shuttle craft can be shaped like the steins that my uncles brought back from Germany in the 50s… and, naturally, they’d open from the top. In the shuttle bay, there’d be this giant thumb…

5

That’s what I thought. I figured we were going to see

“Win Capt. Kirk’s Money!”

… or …

“Does anyone know? Anyone? Anyone? Uhura?”

6

And Capt. Kirk could plead into his communicator,

“Scotty, beer me up!”

7

Kirk: Set course for the serving wench, Mr. Sulu.
Bones: He’s drunk, Jim
Spock: <arches eyebrow> Fascinating burb
Kirk: <exasperated> Scotty, I need more clean pint glasses on the bridge
Scotty: Ahm givin’ it all I got cap’n, but I afta visit the wee boys room.

8

Oh, I thought we were making our own Star Trek just for Zev Steinhardt, because he’s going to miss the premiere of Enterprise.

Although you can tell Zev isn’t a real Trekkie because he seems to think that God is more important than Trek.

9

and the theme song would be,

“I’ll Take You Home Again, Kathleen”

10

FairyChatMom, I love the giant thumb idea!
I was just thinking that, instead of that wierd noise when the doors open, you’d hear a Homer Simpson-style Buuuurp!

11

The TRIcorders would emit a special alert sound when they detected Triple Malt Whiskey.

12

And skunky beer would trigger Red Alerts.

13

“Red Alert! The seal has been broken! I repeat: The seal has been broken. All hands to mop stations.”

“What kind of beer is that, Bones?”
“Dammit, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a brewer.”

14

I’m with Novus Opiate, I misread the OP. I thought this was going to be a thread about the erotic journey of a young girl from Milan to Minske.

(Sheesh. Never mind.)

15

Please tell me that we can have Dudley Moore doing the line from ‘Arthur’: “[drunken whistle] Engine room! Where the HELL is my drink?” Cameo only will be necessary.

16

[William Shatner]Scotty…I…need…more…beer.[William Shatner]
Also there would be a scene in each episode where Captain Kirk makes a real embarassing druken pass at someone ala “The Drew Carey Show”. My favorite episode will be the one where he doesn’t realise that he’s flirting with a Aldarian hermaphordite.

I picture Stein Trek: The Next Generation as being a “Cheers” type show which takes place entirely in Ten Forward.

17

Yeah, I can see it too, whenever Worf would come in, everybody would yell WORF !

18

…and the Romulans would be bad, bad people because they only drink wine coolers.

19

Oooh! Ya remember that one episode where they found that Kirk’s former instructor had created a planet of Nazi’s? Well, this time around, it’d be a planet of beerhalls and every day would be Oktoberfest!

Then in Stein Trek III: The Search For Hops Scotty could sabotage the Excelcior’s (or however you spell it) warp drive by puking into the engines after a hard night of drinking!

Some other changes, the Klingon’s would all have to have beer bellies and wear wifebeaters and ripped T-shirts. They’d also have to drink really cheap beer in glass gallon jugs.

20

Oh! Yeah! One other thing I just thought of! For Stein Trek: The Next Beer the Borg would all be members of AA who try to stamp out all drinking in the Galaxy!