SDMB member moderated Presidential Debate

Mods, move this if it seems more appropriate elsewhere.

How would a debate moderated by SDMB members go? What would the responses be? Who would make the candidates heads explode?

I’ll go first:

As Moderated by Der Trihs

DT: Gentlemen, as you know, the US currently supports Israel in the middle Eastern conflict. Knowing that all religions are inherently evil and false, as well as taking into account that the government shall not tacitly support any religion over another; How can you justify to the tax-payers spending their income to support a country that is engaged in a religious conflict?

McCain: Head explodes, Palin rushes in to lead the audience in an extended version of “The Ole Rugged Cross”, meanwhile Obama gives a non answer about the need for religious tolerance.

I’d like to see a town hall style debate where everyone in the audience are regulars at GD. Someone would put forth a question, then someone else would cut in and belittle the question, others would leap to the questioner’s defense, a few would cut in with some jokes, and still others would try to rephrase the question but ultimately end up going on tangents.

Meanwhile, the two candidates stand there awkwardly, as the debate is happening without them.

Moderated by Diogenes the Cynic:

Senator McCain, what are your thoughts on the war in Ir… never mind, you’re a lying asshole anyway, why should we believe you?

Now, Senator Obama, can you unzip your pants so that I can fellate you repeatedly while you tell me all the great things that you and the Democrats are going to do over the next 72 years if Diebold and the Republicans don’t find a way to keep you out of office by cheating you out of the election?

Cite!?

Please, DtC… no cites on fellating Obama. My eyes will bleed.

Heh. My reply was to the OP, not the post immediately preceeding it.

Debate moderated by a SD Moderator:

"Gov Palin, as your reply doesn’t answer the GQ, I’m moving it to MPSIMS. "

Debate moderated by a SD Administrator:

Senator McCain, Senator Obama, you should be thankful that I’ve provided this forum for you to air your views. And that goes for the viewers at home, too! You want to question the way I moderate this debate, why, I might just shut the whole thing down, damn your eyes! By the way, I want both candidates to talk about how much they love the book I’m coming out with next month. And don’t you dare-- [Suddenly mic goes dead, podium collapses, overhead scaffolding falls halfway down and swings comically, studio goes dark.]

Debate as moderated by the MSM and roughly 80% of the SDMB:

Senator Obama, if we could be one-one-hundredth as great as you and Michelle are in the White House, we’d take it right now and walk away winners.

Senator McCain, shut up.

Regards,
Shodan

This will not end well.

Moving dickfest from IMHO to The BBQ Pit.

It’s sad how much that reflects her actual answers in the VP debate.

Hi, I’m Scylla from Rock the Vote reminding you to register and vote. Otherwise, it’s folks like this that’ll decide who our next President is.

Well, it hasn’t started out all that great, so yes.

“Dickfest”?

People being snide dicks in a jovial, overbearing and patronising fashion.

You got it. For example, see posts #3, #8 and #9.

First of all, that was kind of the point of this thread as I understood it. Second, was I wrong? I challenge you to find a single post that would indicate it wouldn’t go down like that.

“Dickfest”, eh? Look around at the myriad of other dickfests that you let go without comment.

Douche.

GD hive mind of randomly selected popular viewpoints:

<Long, ridiculously complex question with multiple parts>
Please provide your answer in a 10 minute window, following proper etiquette, the rules of which will be chosen by this dartboard, as we couldn’t actually AGREE on what constitutes such. Make sure you have at LEAST 7 citations, you will be scored, yes, scored, on grammar and pronunciation, as well as the quality of your answer and accuracy of the sources judged by our panel of self-styled experts. If you go over the 10 minutes or are wrong or lie on any point [del]you will be drawn and quartered[/del] your answer will be considered null, void, and open for mocking from the peanut gallery. Judges may be bribed with the correct rhetoric, which will not be revealed to you. Any mention of religion that does not condemn it as the evil that it truly is immediately loses you the debate, Ogspeed and may the masses have mercy on your soul.

The thread was still in IMHO when you posted that little lovefest, and you knew it was unacceptable.

Asshole.