Can’t sing, have no musical training.
But I do play the stereo really well…
I play 5 string banjo (yes, really). Adds excitement to any orchestra. I also sing, but since I do not read music I have no clue of my range. Mostly I sing the tenor line.
The overwhelming majority of people have more than the average (mean) number of legs. – E. Grebenik
I play the flout. It’s a Scandinavian instrument that looks like a tuba except it’s got hair on the bottom.
Seriously, I play an electric bass & love to pretend I am anywhere near as good as Geddy Lee.
I am amazed that there have been no smutty skin flute jokes from you guys.
Or girls.
Gee, Cap’n, from what I heard over the grapevine, your lips have had plenty of practice lately . . .
I am not gonna say it.
I am not gonna say it.
I played piano for about five years or so, and trombone for seven (junior high and high school). I couldn’t play either one now to save my life < sigh >. I can fake it with a harmonica (Insert wiseass comment here), and I can sing, as long as I have a voice to harmonize with.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
Depending on who is listening at the time, it could be said that I play the Djembe. Any DC dopers want to jam, lemme know. Just moved down here from the City, and haven’t really played since I left.
Once in a while you can get shown the light
in the strangest of places
if you look at it right…
Now now, Eve. We all know that one stellar performance won’t get the embouchure back in shape. Besides, I never said I was selling season tickets. 
–Da Cap’n
“Playin’ solitaire 'til dawn
With a deck of fifty-one.”
I have played AT the piano since age 6, and sang for many years from Jr. High to college.
I THOUGHT I was a pianist until the following occurred:
In college, a friend of mine needed to sing for an audition for a musical. She chose to sing a soliloquy with a reasonably nasty accompaniment on piano in the sheet music she had. She asked me to master the task of accompanying her during the audition, and like an idiot, I said yes.
For two weeks I ignored my school duties (not studying, THAT was ignored by routine anyway; I mean Dungeons and Dragons, pizza eating, and television watching) and practiced, practiced, practiced. The sheet music was written in something lovely like the key of D or B. After lots of work I managed to feel like I wouldn’t make a spectacle of myself. Indeed, I got through the audition respectably enough.
Unfortunately, the auditioning committee wanted to hear my friend sing in a lower key. They asked me to transpose it a fourth lower. I laughed and said no chance, whereupon a Piano major from Eastman School of Music sight read the piece, transposing as she did. As I listened in awe, I realized that I was no pianist, only someone who played on a piano. 
Usually French horn. Occaissionally trumpet. (Like this upcoming Friday night. Yeah, it’s Christmas Eve, but it’s also $100.) As part of my job, I’ve also been learning these: trombone, tuba, percussion, clarinet.
When’s the audition?
DSYoung:
OOOOOH, I hate that attitude! That’s what keeps too many people from playing music these days…“Oh, I can’t possibly be as good as someone who’s SPENT HIS ENTIRE LIFE PRACTISING…so why should I bother?”
Hundred years ago, EVERYBODY played something! There were all-amateur band concerts in the parks, with the fire chief on tuba, Doctor Jones on clarinet, the grocer on piccolo, the editor of the town paper on cornet…Junior would play the fiddle on the front porch to accompany Grandpa’s guitar and Uncle Louie’s mandolin. Mom would play the piano while everyone sang Christmas carols.
If you missed a coupla notes, whut the hell.
I stand ready to join the SDMB Orchestra on:
flute
tenor saxophone
trumpet
tuba
SATB recorders
piano.
Uke
I used to play trombone for 2 years. I still know all notes and scales, even though the last time I played was in junior high.
I also have a very bass voice. Here’s me singing (or trying to sing)
I’ve been waiting for other oboists, but alas, none so far.
So you can add to the line-up:
The Unusual Oboe
The Ubiquitous Flute
The Equally Ubiquitous Piano
I played trombone for 7 years, in junior high & high school. I was okay. That was a really, really long time ago, though. I don’t know if I could even play a scale now. I think that I’d look much hipper with a trombone now, though, since I wouldn’t have to wear a uniform.
I was never in the choir, but I was in drama. The musical director of the plays told me that I was a second soprano. I don’t think that’s the case anymore, considering that I’ve spent several years smoking and drinking since then. It doesn’t really matter, though, because you people are my friends, and I have no desire to torture you by making you listen to me sing.
I think I’ll just be a groupie. Is that okay?
eden – Byzantine raises hand.
Oboe
Flute
Piccolo
Learning:
Keyboard
Sax
Guitar
Wanting to:
Harp
Bag Pipes
Drums
Cristi – yes!
Best!
Byz