I still think that the words “like a plasterer’s radio” is one of the most descriptive sentences ever.
It reads like Nadsat. Is it the missing chapter in ‘Clockwork Orange’ ?
I’ve a pain in me gulliver!
Matron !!! Another bed, please.
I’m quite fond of using the word “tit”. Not in the usual sense, but more like this:
“Dammit, London_Calling, stop acting like a tit. Get yer arse out from underneath that table, and order us another round of Guinness”. 
[sub]Of course, this is a fictional example. The esteemed mr Calling would never indulge in silly bar games such as “pass underneath the table without touching the floor”.[/sub]
I’m done with all that, matey. Last time, the table edge all but ripped my bollocks off.
Male equivalent: smuggling plums
Would you believe that I had forgotten all about that? One of the funniest things I have ever seen, next to that poodle in the red light window.
Of course, I was very, very drunk at the time.