As a regular reader of Viz Magazine and its Profanisaurus, I thought I’d blatently (yet harmlessly) steal their thing for this place. A few choice entries from Viz:
Larsen. medic. The lateral point of the upper thigh where the leg becomes the arse. The bit seen in Jazz Mags that remains white even though the model has spent many hours on a sunbed "… the femoral vein ascends behind the semi-tendinosus, where it joins the great saphenous vein just behind the larse and continues on to meet inferior vena cava half way between the tits and the hoo-ha… " (From Grey’s Anatomy)
Map of African. The unfortunate stain left on the bed sheet and often the mattress below after an exchange of bodily fluids. Also map of Ireland.
Poo Fairyn. Magical entity which regularly visits the female half of the population, resulting in the male half of the being under the handy illusion that ladies never need to lay a cable.
With the extensive literary talent we have here, combined with the filthy minds of SDMB masses… go ahead, make up or add your own amusing rude euphamism…
escape sub (n): referring to the inordinately large and solid log one lays the morning after a heavy drinking session. An escape sub is the means by which an evil hangover makes it’s getaway.
In olde student days we used to have the ‘hair of the dog’; That is, in the morning after a housemate had had a drunken night of passion with someone they later regretted, a communal search of the bed sheets would reveal a few alien short an’ curly’s.
These, with the help of cellotape, were then installed in the rogue’s gallery (the back of the toilet door) with a large arrow and all relevant details.
Tended to cause occasional problems if the lady returned on later occasions.
Snolzch*. The particle that ends up in between the nose and the pharynx when you sneeze while you are eating carrots (my research indicates that also couscous is good for this). Snolzches are as impossible to blow out of your nose, as they are to snort back into your throat. Damn nuisance if you ask me…
smuggling yoyos - the effect seen when a woman wears a pair of pants that are too tight and the crotch seam works into hoha; see also, camel toe or mooose lip
Here’s an erotic story my jizz jar wrote for me:
We slowly undress each other one article of clothing
at a time, all the way down to our crusties. Firkytoodling, I lick your strong chest, working my way down your stomach
and to your wood. I take your rock hard boner in my mouth and slowly caress it
with my lips and tongue. My hand caresses your
spherical spunk factories and your inner thigh, slightly running my finger along your larse and crack.
You are watching me as your wab moves in and out of my mouth,
my soft wet lips sliding up and down lulling you into sweet
orgasm. I flick the tip of your shit-stabber with my
tongue and then suck on it and take it in all the way to the
spuds; you spurt your curd in my mouth. Still licking your bacon bazooka, your body is
trembling and quivering, so I suck on it and take it all the way
in again, you are still trembling from orgasming so hard, you
have since placed your hands on my head helping to guide me up
and down your Spam scepter. You make your way down and start to suck and kiss
my erect nellies. Cupping each funbag with both hands you gently
and softly kiss each one.
Then slowly moving your way down, kissing my body all the way
you make your way to my whiskerpot. I reach down and insert one
finger, sliding it in and out once or twice while you watch,
then reaching up and putting that one finger into your mouth.
You suck all the clam juice off it and so I do it again and this
time I lick it first and then let you have it. You have decided
you want more and start to lick and suck my fanny flange gently. I hold
my piss-flaps open for you and press my pelvis upward toward your
face. You feel so good and I was instantly frothing at the gash the moment we
kissed back at the airport. I try to resist but can’t and I spew gonad glue all over your face. You
feverishly suck and lick at my quim while thrusting your
fingers in and out, my body is now trembling and I have already
reached my climax at least once. Now that we have pleased each other you sit
up in the back seat and I decide that I need more. I straddle
you, kissing and tasting your neck and lips. Instantly you are
hard again and you thrust your hard tadger into my poot-chute. I sit on your whang moving up and down, staring you in the
eye. Kneeling on the
back-seat you hold on to my corybungo and push your dong into me, slowly at first and then thrusting it in all the way. I let out
a slight squeal. You feel so big this way and so deep,
penetrating balls-deep. You bang up against my crapper
as you thrust your hard crank into my cheesepipe again and again. Now
you are holding on to my turd-cutter pulling me toward you. You are about to climax and so you pull
out and blow your cock snot all over my mudhole, rubbing it in.
