SDMB Reader and Note Taker. Apply Within.

This Friday I go into the doctor to have my hand operated on for trigger finger (a casualty of the SDMB). It is not a big deal. Day surgery, a week off of work, nothing major, I just won’t be able to use my hands for a few days.

Here is the deal.

Everyone agree that nothing interesting will be posted, no entertaining flame wars will be started, and no major announcements will be made until I return.

Or. . . .

I’ll hire someone to scan the board, take notes of the highlights, and debrief me when I am able to use my hands again.

Not that I am going to pay really money or anything. It would just be a volunteer-for-the-injured-and-because-I-love-the-SDMB kind of a thing.

Send your applications to:

Hope it all goes well for you, Diane!
Oh, and yes- that IS her real e-mail address!


I’m applying. As I don’t know your interests I don’t know what exactly to watch out for, but I peruse all the major fora and I have a sense of humor (somewhere . . . ).

Go to

Buy “Now You’re Talking on the Web”

Install & Enroll.

Look, ma! No hands!

Zette - you’re a sweetie (as always). It really isn’t a big deal or something a few pain killers won’t help, but because my hands will be wrapped in big bandages for a few days I won’t be able to click my mouse or type.

iampunha - I tend to click open threads that sound like they will be full of sick humor, interesting information (mostly on the GQ and Mailbag forums), personal every day experiences (especially when the OP is someone I really like), threads that sound spooky or eerie, heated flame wars and of course any links to porno sites.

Now that I think about the bandages that will be wrapped around my hands, maybe I should advertise for bathroom help as well. . .

. . . .either that, or I will have to tie a sheet between two trees in the back yard.

I’m not touching that one with a 10-foot pole.

Nor am I going to help . . .

Can’t you use your tongue? :stuck_out_tongue:

Can’t you use your tongue? :stuck_out_tongue: **

To wipe her ass? You volunteering? I’m sure as hell not.

Besides, I doubt Diane can bend that far.

To wipe her ass? You volunteering? I’m sure as hell not.

Besides, I doubt Diane can bend that far. **


Doofus! :wink: I meant she could type with her tongue, I guess you saw what you wanted to see. :stuck_out_tongue:


Don’t worry Diane, I’ll take it apon myself to personally debreif you following your return.

OMG - Tongues, bathroom help, debriefing. . . . I am getting a little afraid to ask for resumes.

iampunha - No 10 foot pole needed. I can explain the sheet thing if needed, but I really hope I don’t have to. :smiley:

Yep, you have to. I really want to hear it.

I think.

Since you asked. . . .

I won’t have use of my hands for a few days and no one has come forward to volunteer for bathroom duty. The only way I will be able to . . . how you say. . . WIPE, will be to tie a sheet between two trees, straddle, then run back and forth a few times.

What, no bidet in your house?

You could probably rig one up with one of those flexible shower hoses.



Or, a garden hose.

(I’ve got to learn how to do smilies!)

I’ll do it, but only if you pay me back in April. :wink:

You know I would in a heartbeat, Twisty, unfortunately I will be dragging the kids across Europe (and hopefully tracking down a few Euro-Dopers) for the entire month of April.

But heck, had it been any other time, you know I would!!!

. . . er wait. Are we talking about taking SDMB notes or bathroom help?


Don’t make me come over there and hurt you, Uncle Beer.

Hey hey, I’ll apply. I’m here pretty much every day, since I have no other life to speak of. Anyhoo, good luck with the sheet.

Hurt me? Hah! That’s take two good hands, Diane. Which leaves you one short at the moment. But you’re welcome to try.