No, not actually “sea stories”. Rather, this is a thread for posting nautically-themed jokes. I’ll start with this old chestnut…
IN THE DAYS OF WOODEN SHIPS AND IRON MEN a young lad signs aboard a vessel in search of adventure in the form of a two-year voyage to the South Seas. Upon clearing the headland, the young man runs to the Captain.
“Captain!” he says, “There are no women aboard the ship!”
“That’s true,” replies the Captain. “What’s your point?”
“Well, sir,” the lad says, “Our voyage will last for two years, and there are no women aboard the ship!”
“Ah,” says the Captain. “I think I understand your concerns. You’re a strapping young buck, and you need sexual release. Never fear. We have a solution. Do you see that barrel on the deck?”
“And do you see the bunghole in the side of it?”
“We use that. As you are not presently on duty, go give it a try.”
The young man goes to the barrel and boffs the bunghole. Satisfied, he returns to the captain.
“Captain!” he says, “That was great! I’m going to do that every day!”
“Well, lad, you may do it every day except for Thursday.”
“Why main’t I do it on Thursday?” askes the youth.
“Because,” replies the Captain, “Thursday is your day in the barrel!”