I am often confused why men leaving the toilet seat up appears to be such a big deal with women. I can only reason that they are lazy and object to having to do it themselves. However they seem to have little sympathy for us stand-up types and the effort expended in lifting the seat when some thoughtless woman leaves the darn thing down!
It stands to reason then, that for any given household, there must be an optimal always-up/always-down/leave-where-it-is policy which, based on the ratio of men to women and the average piss-to-poop ratio, would minimize the number of seat movements required.
Who can come up with a mathematical expression involving these two ratios to decide, once and for all, Seat Up or Seat Down?
I say leave it where it is no matter what you’re there to do, eliminating the need to move the seat at all. Perhaps even removing the seat altogether?
My brother use to live with a couple of females who continually nagged him about putting the seat down. A little confused as to why HE had to put the seat down and not THEM put it up, he proceeded to urinate on the seat if it was left down. From then on the seat mysteriously remained in the upright position for him. Problem solved!
I too have never understood this, and once contemplated asking the Master – but felt it would a tragic waste of his intellect to consider such mundane matters.
On a related issue – why do so many people not put down the lid when one is present? When I was raised, my sainted Mother taught all of her children, sons and daughters alike, to put both the seat AND the lid DOWN when finished. (No, we didn’t have a dog.) This seems to make sense – who wants to look in a toilet bowl if they don’t have to; it eliminates the up/down question; it creates a place to sit; and why have a lid if you don’t use it?
Thus, living on my own for the past 16 years, through a series of homes and apartments, I have always put the lid and seat down. Yet when friends visit and use the facilites, they inevitably leave the lid UP! Sometimes the seat is up; sometimes the seat is down. But the lid is always up! Why, why oh why? The grief and anguish this causes is immeasurable. (Whether because too large or too small is hard to say.)
“The dawn of a new era is felt and not measured.” Walter Lord
The standard whine from women concerns going in the middle of the night and sitting on the bare bowl thus getting their butt wet.
I guess I consider it sort of an intelligence test. If you do that more than once … (The light switch is right there by the door by the way)
In any case, in our house she leaves it down and I leave it however it is when I finish.
I once asked a married friend about this, when his wife was safely out of the room. He said it was one of the great mysteries of life, but to avoid endless wrangling over a particularly inane topic, he just put the damn seat down.
“The dawn of a new era is felt and not measured.” Walter Lord
I’m no mathematician, but I’m going to take a stab at it anyway.
Let’s say that your average American household has one adult male, one adult female, one male child, and one female child. Now, in a 2-day period, on average:
The adult male will pee six times (3 per day) and poop twice (once per day). Ratio so far: 3 standing, 2 sitting.
The adult female will pee seven times and poop twice. Ratio so far: 3 standing, 11 sitting.
The male child will pee about 9 times, and poop 4 times. Ratio so far: 12 standing, 15 sitting.
The female child will pee about 9 times, and poop about 4 times. Final ratio: 12 standing, 28 sitting.
Therefore, the ratio of the number of uses in a 2-day period requiring the seat to be down vs. requiring the seat to be up is 7:3. Therefore, we can conclude that since more than twice the number of toilet uses require the seat to be down, it should be left down as a matter of economy, energy efficiency, etc.
Of course, the situation in your house may be entirely different. Perhaps you have a preschool boy who pees for the joy of aiming his weiner toward the bowl and watching the results. Perhaps the adult male in the household is like Papparasta and only takes a dump on Sunday morning :D. Perhaps you have… well, you get the idea :rolleyes:.
I am a man, and i put both the seat and the lid down. Simple reason for this, it IS possible for rats and things to get in through the toilet. Not that there is a huge rat problem around here, it’s just one of my manias i suppose…
“Through twilight, darkness and moonrise
My scarlet tears will run
As stolen blood and whispered love
Of fantasies undone”
Well, I’ve always been in the school that if women want me to put the seat down then they have to put it up when they’re done, however since Cecils’ column on aeresolized water landing on the bathroom counter, I always lower the lid. Do you think women would bitch sittin on the lid, too?
In our house the lid always goes down, too. We DO have pets, and a small child, but we did it even before. I agree, who wants to look into the toilet??
I really do not think the “seat up” complaint is as common amoung women as you think. The problem has mostly been blown out of proportion by the same idiot stand-up comedians who blather on about “driving on the parkway & parking on the driveways”. These folks are Cecil’s nemesis. Pay no attention to them
I was always of the “if they forget to put the lid down, tought titties” school, but now I’m a changed man. What changed me? Having to do ALL the housework, for the past several years. Do you realize how much piss we fellas leave on the rim of the bowl? I dont care HOW efficient you figure your technique is, ya still splatter to some extent. I noticed this after any and all male pals use our john, without fail. I have also noticed it (in passing, not out of compulsion) at pretty much every household pot I’ve used while away from home. So what did I do? I became a sitter. That’s right, I sit for both jobs (“one” and “two”). The result? WAY less time spent cleaning the bowl (which, I’ll admit, wasn’t a lot of time, but it sure wasn’t quality time), and a relaxing break at many points in the day. Sometimes its just nice to get off yer feet, y’know?
