Second Hand Wedding Story - UGLY

My husband is a wedding videographer and he’s at a job tonight. He gives me a call and tells me this lovely story. The couple getting married today is black, so most of the wedding party is black. However the grooms mother is white and so there are some white people sprinkled about. My husband and the photographer are sitting by the door eating dinner when the photographer sees someone come in and sign the wedding book. The photographer doesn’t recognize them from the party so after the couple leaves he goes up to see what they wrote.

You don’t know us and we don’t know you but get the hell out of here!

So my husband and the photographer get the Maitre d’ to try and figure out what to do. They can’t rip the page out because the groom’s mother wrote something on the same page. I’m thinking just get a marker and scratch it out.

But Holy Crap! It’s their wedding day and some idiot has to try and ruin it. I’m so stunned by the brutality of it I can’t even think straight.

I just can’t believe it.

I’d probably get one of the couple’s close relatives, preferably one of the parents. It might fuck up their night or upset them, but at least it’s not the wedding couple’s night ruined, and really, the family should be allowed to decide what to do. Also, that way they can leave it up to the relative they tell whether or not to mention it to the happy couple, either then or later.

I’d prolly tell them later myself, but not that day, were I the relative told. No one needs to be confronted with that on what’s supposed to be the happiest day or their life. Gods know there’s a billion potential sources of agony at a wedding to begin with, no need to push it over the top with something like that.

Get some whiteout and cover it up. Tell the happy couple that someone messed up what they wanted to say and redid it.

There is no need to tell them about this. I have a feeling, unfortunately, this won’t be the last time they have to deal with small minded, bigoted people. Just don’t let them know it started on their wedding day.

Let me preface this by stating that I am in no way looking for something to be offended by here, beyond the obvious stupidity of trying to ruin someone else’s wedding, but…

What did anyone’s skin color have to do with anything? It’s entirely possible I misread something in the OP, but I just don’t get it.

Nausicaa, would I be correct in guessing that the uninvited asshole was white, making his entry in the guestbook racially motivated, as opposed to, oh say, just being a giant dipshit with no respect for someone else’s private affair? Even without the racist overtones, the guy deserves a good pitting.

It was childish, petty and smallminded. I think ivylass has the right idea as far as handling the actual entry in the book itself. And yeah, the newlyweds do not need to know about this tonight. Plenty of time to be pissed off and disgusted after the honeymoon. If, in fact, the family decides they ever need to know about it all.

[sub]Seriously, I’ve got no objections at all to you roasting this fucking halfwit in the pit to a fare thee well, especially if he’s a racist, I’m just puzzled a bit by the wording of the OP.[/sub]

I’m with ivylass. Not that I approve of lying, but sometimes the truth hurts more than the untruth.

I once worked part-time in a nursing home. One day I am walking down a hallway and an elderly woman in a wheelchair, who is pushing herself in the opposite direction, stops and plucks at my sleeve. She tells me that “I hear you and your brothers have been fighting again.” She goes on to ask, for the sake of family harmony, that we make up the quarrel. I don’t know her, and I have no brothers, but just then I pretended I did. I hung my head and told her I had been feeling bad about that and I would try to settle things. So the little old woman wheels away happy. If I had tried to explain to her she was mistaken she would have gotten more confused ore would have been sad and upset. The lie kept her happy, and I was glad to do it.

The whiteout would be a “lie” but it’s better than the truth, in this particular case and instance. Let us know what decision was actually made, will you?

Sorry for the confusion Skeezix but I was so appalled that my brain stopped working. (I would love to be one of those people who can get angry and think straight.)

Husband said it was two middle-aged white women who did the writing. And he said he doesn’t know what was done to “fix” the problem, just that the maitre d’ said he would take care of it.


My instinct would be to explain the situation to the groom’s mother, remove the page, and get her to recopy what she wrote.

White out…nod it’s your friend at a time like this. Being able to tell a “white lie” with a straight face for compassion’s sake is also desirable.

Maybe bring in one of the parents so they can help with the prevarication. (Even get someone to RUN to a store that has white out is not out of the question…)

I hope that the maitre d’ was sensible and compassionate.

Nausicaa, yeah, that was about how I figured it, from the context.

Y’know, what the hell is wrong with people? What could possibly make someone think this would be a good idea? I just cannot conceive of a set of circumstances that’d make pissing on someone’s day like that seem like the thing to do.

Another vote for white out, and I feel sorry for the maitre’d. If people are going to go out of their way to be so deliberately cruel to people they don’t even know, I don’t think someone who is serving them any better, although maybe removing their anonymity may get them to behave better. Chances are this isn’t the first time the groom has been faced with such idiocy, but there’s no need to let him know he couldn’t even escape it on his wedding day. Can you imagine what it would be like to be the person who’d do such a thing? My life may not be all that great right now, but I’m very happy not to be them.


Err, I’m really confused… where were the people saying to get the hell out of?

Whiteout would look tacky and would probably come off eventually.

I’d rip the page out, carefully spill a glass of wine on it, and then hand the legible part of the page to the groom’s mother and say “I’m terribly sorry, but someone spilled something on the reception book. Could you please write this again?”.

I voted for whiteout, but the idea of the previous post is good too.

It’s such an odd comment - it almost sounds like they were trying to have a joke. But pretty unfunny joke at anyone’s wedding.

I think whiteout is fine. My suggestion would be just to say that some drunk people/drunk kids broke in and wrote something rude, like “marriage sux”.

A little white lie for a happy wedding…