Secrets you might as well share now

[ladyfoxfyre]

This thread reminds me of PostSecret in a way.

[Full_Metal_Lotus]

I tried to talk my goddaughter’s mother into having an abortion… (I didn’t know that I was going to be named godparent at the time)…

Best argument I ever lost…
FML

[Rigamarole]

@The New and Improved Superman

25 years ago, our parents had forbidden my brothers & me from watching “the Shining” on HBO. Then one night, they went out for the evening when they definitely knew that “the Shining” would be airing that night.

My mother tried to install a sense of moral guilt in us beforehand: “Your father & I will not know if you watch “the Shining” on tv tonight. But YOU will know! And YOU will KNOW that you have disobeyed us.”

We watched “the Shining.”

Sounds like some kind of twisted set-up, really. Hell, even if I had no idea what “The Shining” was, that would totally entice me.

[moonstarssun]

I wrote my secret on the inside of the sweatshirt you loaned me. You’ll never see it, and you’ll never know how I feel. But I think you feel the same way.

[ripopgome]

• Wandering around godparents’ basement one day I found godfather’s stash of gay porn. Ugh. He’s dead now, still don’t know if godmother knows, I assume so.

• Attempting to fix parents’ computer, find all my father’s gay porn. MAKE IT STOP!? Arrgh. (I don’t really care what you’re into, but hide that stuff more carefully!)

• I stole a bunch (~100?) (relatively valuable) baseball cards from a cousin when I was maybe 15. I ended up selling them at a collectibles shop at some point when I was really broke. Sorry cuz.

• Yeah that was far from the first time I had boosted stuff from a store when I got caught in college. But I haven’t done it again since.

• I think I broke the brand new plasma TV in your cabin. I mean, it still works, but it makes a funny noise now. Sorry.

• When I was 13 and you said “we had better just be kissing”… yeah, we were fucking. Sorry, Mom.

Aw crap, sorry for the old thread resurrection

[Cicero]

Having a big dick isn’t all that it is cracked up to be.

And it was me who let the dogs out.

[Count_Blucher]

Yes, I threw the snowball from the frost in the kitchen freezer across the dining room.

Yes, I defaced those campaign posters. I still liked the slogan “Stamp Out Virginity In Our Lifetime” better.

Yes, I lit the polish-cannon. The one that went off down the hall of the hotel.

Yes, I brought the alcohol. And the condoms. Why so many? [Louie Anderson]"…nickle difference…" [/Louie Anderson]

Yes I crazy glued that door’s lock cylinder.

Yes, I leaned that garbage can of water against that other door (next time, turn down the music when we bang on the wall).

The gold fish that was left in the file cabinet by the front desk?

The beer in the copy machine?

Golf-cart bumper cars?

Tire-patch marks on the golf green while playing “Flag-hunter”?
(…you be amazed how much dirt comes up when you knock one of those cups out of the ground…)

Yup.

(I was NOT the one who threw up in the ice-machine, however).

But as for ruining a HS trip, getting our chapter of a national organization suspended for a few years, as well as each and every one of us Personally Banned from a certain golf resort. For. Life.

Well I guess that’d be me.
It was the first time I’d ever heard Zenyatta Mondatta. And everything changed…

[MickNickMaggies]

Dear lovely Italian girl- if you had asked me after we kissed that Christmas, I’d probably have dumped him. We’re married now, but damn.

[trapezoidal_jellyfish]

I wrote that essay for her. It was a college application essay, to a back-up school she never would have gone to in a million years, and would have been accepted to even if she submitted the whole application in purple crayon and didn’t use punctuation.

[diggerwam]

I borrowed 6k from my parents right after we got married. Paid back maybe $1000 and gave my dad my heater car to sell. That’s the reason I moved back to this shithole town to take care if them during their last decade on earth. After a while I knew I couldn’t pay them back financially so I tried to pay them back with work. Both them are gone now and my sisters don’t have a clue. I feel like I paid them back but if the family knew why I moved back I wouldn’t look like such the selfless hero.

[SmellMyWort]

@Sonia_Montdore

My brother married his fiancee secretly six months in advance of the big wedding that her parents and ours were planning. The fiancee needed surgery and didn’t have good health insurance, so they got hitched so she’d have coverage. They didn’t tell anyone but me, and then they went through with the fancy ceremony six months later as if they were both single because they didn’t want to disappoint the parents.

I realize that this is an old thread, and it looks like Sonia Montdore hasn’t posted here for some time, but I just wanted to say that I was struck by this post. What a great story to tell the kids/grandkids some day.

[Ethilrist]

@diggerwam

I borrowed 6k from my parents right after we got married. Paid back maybe $1000 and gave my dad my heater car to sell. That’s the reason I moved back to this shithole town to take care if them during their last decade on earth. After a while I knew I couldn’t pay them back financially so I tried to pay them back with work. Both them are gone now and my sisters don’t have a clue. I feel like I paid them back but if the family knew why I moved back I wouldn’t look like such the selfless hero.

There are other, and better, types of hero to look like. This kind, for instance.

[Ibanez]

I don’t tell my family about health related incidents. I thought I was having a heart attack two years ago, went to the hospital myself turned out it was an different type of anxiety attack I never had before. Didn’t tell them. Had a colonoscopy not long ago didn’t tell them, I haven’t heard back from them regarding if the polyps were precancerous, I’m assuming they weren’t. Didn’t tell them.