“Drive like Hell and you’ll soon get there.”
I always liked that one, one that I dont get are the ones that get smaller and smaller saying “if you can read this you are too close” but you cant see it unless you are stopped at lights.
Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.
I adore bumper stickers. They’re the only conceivable reason I would ever get a car. (Unfortunately for Detroit, they’re not strong enough a reason.)
So… I don’t have a car. But I have a backpack, which I festoon with buttons. My buttons include:
Wake me up when sex doesn’t kill and we can breathe the air.
My karma ran over your dogma.
Cats, not kids.
Let’s all act abnormal and be ourselves.
Heterosexuality is not normal, just common.
The worst thing about censorship is ##*^&%@@.
Kinsey 6.
A friend has:
I was gay before it got trendy.
If you can’t fuck your friends, whom can you fuck?
And my absolute favourite button, which I swear I would wear if I were a lesbian, is:
Sorry I missed church; I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
On my Dad’s old Toyota when I was in high school:
“The moral majority is neither.”
This was in Tennessee. People would follow me after I parked to ask me either “Where did you get it?” (happily) or “What do you mean?” (angrily).
If I could find it, I’d put it on my car now.
Matt_mcl said he would wear the following pin if he were a lesbian: “Sorry I missed church; I was busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.”
You should wear it anyway. 
One of my favorites pins is “I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.” There are others that I like but they are too offensive to place here.
You know how some people put their names in the back window of pickups? Like behind the driver’s side would be “Jack” and behind the passenger’s side would be “Jane” or whatever.
I saw a low rider, chromed out pickup the other day with “Jason” behind the driver’s side and “Your daughter” behind the passenger’s side.
My husband laughed so hard and was then going to try to pull him over to ask to speak to his daughter.
still laughing…sheesh I AM easily amused.
trisha
He who joyfully marches in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would suffice - Albert Einstein
A few of my favorites,
A friend of my brothers had a bunch of little circular stickers made, with a screw on them that were just big enough to cover the heart on the ‘I <heart> my <Animal of choice>’ bumperstickers. I’ve also seen circles with spades on them for the same bumper stickers.
And ones I’ve found on the net.
‘Support Capitol Punishment, flog a politian’
‘The more I learn about terrorism, the better I understand the phone company’
‘Support the 28th Amendment: Convicted felons shall not have the right to demand or expect better treatment or conditions than the members of the public at large.’
‘Grad School - It’s not just a job, it’s an indenture!’
‘If ignorance is Bliss, Washington must be Paradise!’
‘I know that you have a thing for me, but why is it so small and deformed?’
‘Nice front bumper you’ve got there. Shame if something happened to it…’
‘Clinton can’t feel my pain, Clinton IS my pain!’
‘Blessed be the censors, for they shall truly inhibit the earth’
‘Balance the Budget. Declare Politicians as Game and sell Hunting Stamps.’
‘Crus de agnus Deae con quilon menthae (Leg of lamb of Goddess with mint jelly)’
There are many more, I’d post a link to the site where I found these, but it is a commercial site.
>>Being Chaotic Evil means never having to say your sorry…unless the other guy is bigger than you.<<
—The dragon observes
Saw one in Oregon: “If you ain’t a logger, you ain’t shit.” Not really sure if that was a good or bad thing.
Jesus saves, Allah protects, and C’thulhu thinks you’d make a nice sandwich
Ranger Jeff
*The Idol of American Youth *
Well, if you want to bring buttons into the mix, I’ve got lots. Here’s a partial list of my collection:
Cheap, Fast, Good – pick two.
Never follow a rule off a cliff.
Rule 1: You Can’t Cure Stupid
Anything not nailed down is mine; anything I can pry loose is not nailed down.
I don’t fit in, I’m part of a better puzzle.
All you need is WD40 to make things go and Duct Tape to make them stop.
God didn’t create the universe in seven days, he goofed off for six and pulled an all-nighter.
CAFFEINE.COM not found, reboot user (Y/n)?
We are Microsoft. OS/2 is irrelevant. UNIX is irrelevant. Openness is futile. Prepare to be assimilated.
Programming is a race between programmers trying to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs and the universe trying to create bigger and better idiots
C++ Where only your friends can access your private parts.
Everything in the universe is packaging, big toys, or meat.
Fezenclop lives! Beware the werewolf sailors! (If anyone understands this one, I’ll be more than amazed.)
YOU NONCONFORMISTS ARE ALL ALIKE
IF YOU THINK EDUCATION IS EXPENSIVE, TRY IGNORANCE
Perhaps the most offensive I’ve ever seen:
Flatties Try Harder</P>
On my car: A mind is like a parachute - it only functions when open
On my husband’s car: ER nurse - pass me now, see me later
My next sticker: Straight but not narrow
“With enough courage, you can do without a reputation.” - Rhett Butler
One bumper sticker of sorts that I read about in Reader’s Digest was a car that had a crumpled right rear bumper. On the left (no damage side) it said, " El Paso" on the Right side it said, " El Cruncho."
The most offensive bumper sticker I’ve seen and it took me and hubby a few days to figure it out was simply “4:20” It’s Hitler’s birthday and we figured it out the day after the Columbine Shooting.
Shirley, I can’t believe you’ve been around the SDMB for this long and you don’t know that 4:20 (on bumper stickers, hats, and the like) DOES NOT HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HITLER’S BIRTHDAY! 4:20 is universal pot-smoking time.
God was my co-pilot; but we creashed and I had to eat him.
All time fave, bar none:
ESCHEW OBFUSCATION
So there.
It’s not a bumper sticker, but I saw a guy ridin a hog. On the back of his t-shirt it read ‘If you can read this, my bitch fell off’.
it was a tshirt but my favorite saying was “Jesus died for my sins and all i got was this lousy tshirt.”
I think thats how it went anyway!
Oh well it was funnier on!
“England forever…and Scotland just a wee bit longer…”
“Im not speeding…I’m flying low”
“I’m not totally useless…I can be used as a bad example”
“I wanna be Barbie…that bitch has EVERYTHING”