My sister’s girlfriend and I were chatting over the holdiays. She is about 8 years older than me (I’m 34) and we found we interpret the word “seeing” quite differently. I use it interchageably with “dating”. “The girl I’m seeing” would be the same as “the girl I’m dating”. Somewhat casual and not too terribly committed.
My sister’s girlfriend interprets it less casually. She uses it in a more committed context. “The woman she is dating” is a casual relationship that is not particularly committed or serious, but the “woman she is seeing” would be “her girlfriend.”
It came up when she said she was “seeing” my sister and I seemed surprised because I thought they were pretty serious, and “seeing” is casual to me. My sister (who is only a bit older than me) interprets it the way I do and refers to her girlfriend as “girlfriend” or “significant other”.
So what say you Straight Dopers?
“seeing” = “dating”, somewhat casual
or
“seeing” = “going steady”, girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other
I’m 27 and male, and would use “seeing” interchangeably with “dating”. Once they get to “girlfriend” level I don’t refer to them as anything but my girlfriend.
I’m a 20 year old male, and I think that “seeing” is the same as “dating” - actually, I didn’t ever think it could possibly that “seeing” was more serious, I assumed it would be the other way.
44 and female. Back in ancient times when I was dating, “seeing” would imply a more casual situation than “dating”. Dating would have had more of an intent to develop into a serious relationship, while just seeing somebody (or somebodies) would have indicated that one or both of the parties are also “seeing” or wanting to see other people.
I use seeing to mean a more casual dating relationship, and dating to mean a full relationship.
I would say, “When I started seeing my ex-wife, she ws going out with this guy who looked like Jesus.”
Or: “When I was dating my wife, I would usually drive because I had cloth seats and an FM+ tape deck in my Oldsmobile and she had vinyl and an AM radio. Hers was faster, though.”
Once you get to living together, neither is appropriate, I’d say.
If he means it the way I do, “girlfriend level” would be “going steady”: when you’ve entered into monogamy and are aiming for long-term relationship and hopefully happily ever after.
Or it means you’ve rescued Smurfette on your old Atari game.
That’s a good interpretation too. I have a buddy who says he’s “seeing someone” in the sense of “pre-dating”.
For example, they’ve gone to dinner a couple of times and a movie in a get-to-know-you phase, but the evening ends with a polite kiss rather than making out on the couch or a good shagging.
Hmm, I tend to think of “seeing” as being between “dating” and “boyfriend” – kind of the opposite of what most folks have stated so far. In my current relationship we’re at the point of referring to each other as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend,” so that’s what I use most of the time, but every now and then I still call him “the guy I’m seeing.” I haven’t referred to him as “the guy I’m dating” since our second date. But I also never really thought about it until now.
I don’t typically use ‘seeing’, but when I have seen it used I have interpreted it as sort of a generic term – “I don’t know if you’re casually involved, in a serious relationship, or somewhere in between, so I’ll just ask ‘are you seeing anyone?’” The only ‘seriousness’ tag I’d put on it would be that it strongly implies a lack of formal commitment such as marriage.
I only use ‘dating’ with the Miss Manners definition: “There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.”
Swallowed My Cellphone summed it up pretty well. Although this is a current issue with the girl I’m currently seeing, who keeps referring to me as her boyfriend but I refer to her as the girl I’m dating.
“Seeing” a girl is just dating her. You can be dating around and seeing many girls. If you’re referring to a girl as one you’re “Dating”, she’s either the best of the pack or you consider it to be an exclusive arrangement.
