Saving Ryan’s Privates: Our intrepid hero Private Ryan is now a widower in his 80’s. Watch as he braves hip breaking bath tubs, fresh kids, and young people who drive to fast as he searches for his bottle of Viagra and that much younger crazy stripper girlfriend because he finally earned it.
Spartacus 2: Micheal Douglass plays the role of Sparky the long lost son of Spartacus. Also starring Tony Curtis dressed up as Jamie Lee Curtis.
A.I. 2: You thought the first one was boring?
Marc
SLINGBLADE: THE SERIES- each week Carl is released from the institution, finds a person or family in need, solves their problems with folksy wisdom and violence, and is returned to state care. It’s TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL meets FRIDAY XIII.
GOLDEN GIRLS THE MOTION PICTURE: SENILE GALS GONE WILD
OLSEN TWINS 2025- MENOPAUSAL AND LOVING IT
INDIANA JONES AND THE MISSING NIKES- the archaeologist loses his position due to university cutbacks and takes a job as a floorwalk at the local Target.
MIRACLE WORKER II: BLIND JUSTICE- Helen and Annie become undercover agents; sponsored in part by a $3 million product placement from Dasani.
“It’s a word Helen… W…A…T…E…R…”
“Wa…wa…” (Then upon tasting Dasani): “Now Baby, THAT is what I CALL WATER!”
GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER NOW… Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton must test how liberal their own views are when their son brings home his date, Butch. Isabel Sanford and Katherine Hepburn reprise their roles with the aid of digital animation.
BECKET II: NO MORE MR. NICE GUY- the Archbishop of Canterbury is back and he’s madder than hell…
TITANIC 2- Rose remembers that she two-timed Jack and it involves the Hope diamond. For the third in the series, she remembers she was also on the Lusitania and the Hindenberg.
I came up with a very similar idea once, inspired by a biracial actress friend who was complaining about the small number of roles available for her. I threatened to write a script in which she would play the daughter of Sidney Poitier and Katherine Houghton who would shock her parents by coming home from college and revealing that her roommate was more than just a good friend. The girlfriend’s parents would be overall-clad lesbian granola farmers who would be equally shocked to discover that their daughter’s girlfriend was an upper-class bisexual.
And now for my entry, Dead Man 2. Bill Blake’s canoe is discovered by the eccentric crew of a whaling ship. They manage to revive Blake, nurse him back to health, train him in the martial arts, and return him to the town of Machine. In a thrilling climax, Blake stabs Mr. Dickinson to death with a harpoon, shouting “How’s that for fearful symmetry?” Watch for the cameo by David Bowie as a transgendered saloon girl!
Alien: Resurrection Battlefield Earth 2 - I hear this one might actually happen ::cringes:: Biodome 2 - set in Mars, they all die thanks to Pauly Dude, Where’s My Brain? - they misplace their shared brain Gone Fishing 2 - I don’t even wanna bother… Lethal Weapon 4 Memento 2: Lenny Gets Amnesia - He finally forgets that he has a condition that prevents him from having short-term memory Men in Black 2 Pulp Fiction 2: Nonfiction - Quentin gets delusional and starts shooting up people at McDonald’s Star Trek V: The Final Frontier Star Trek: Insurrection Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace - I know it’s a prequel but feel it should be included in this list Star Wars Episode II: The Attack of the Clones
