So, I said most women are sexually submissive, in the everyday sense of the word.
Others said oh no, most women are not.
What do you think?
I think that many women can be sexually aggressive if they are with a partner that satisfies them.
So, most women are not sexually submissive, in my humble opinion 
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yep. By a phenomenally large amount. Even the women I’ve met who have dominant personalities and are normally the dominant one with their partners, love to be dominated because it’s so rare for them to meet a guy who CAN dominate them (though they may not prefer it over being the dominant one, the submissive instincts are there somewhere)
This experience jives with my other buddy’s experiences too, we’ve had this conversation before haha
I’d say the number of women who are actually dominant in bed, not just aggressors in pursuing getting TO the bed, is very small compared to the ones who, when actually having sex, like to be pinned down, bossed around, carried around the room, hair pulled, ravaged, etc. by a guy they’re attracted to
The number of women who will admit it in public however, is very low. Grrrl power and all that strong independent woman stuff.
- TWTTWN
I’m not sure what you mean by submissive here. I voted no because even though may act out a submissive role, they are the ones who control sexual activity (IMHO). Men are weak and easily dominated through the use of sex by women. Outside of male/female relationships, I don’t know how things work.
That is an interesting take on it. I meant physically, during sex, that she would like the man to dominate. I see what you’re saying though.
I expect it falls on a bell curve like most things do. Just like the Kinsey scale, there are few 0s and 6s, and most people fall somewhere in the middle.
Certainly most of the people I’ve known to talk about it, switch at least occasionally, and this includes people who describe themselves/identify as submissive. Male and female.
I’m thinking more natural, maybe. For example, any animals I’ve ever seen do it, the male was clearly dominant and the female submissive during the sex act. Of course humans do have higher thought and choice, but still, I haven’t known of nearly as many women who usually like to take charge in the bedroom as who like the man to be dominant during sex (that’s mostly, not always). I’m not really talking BDSM but I guess that would be included as well. Not that I’ve gone around asking everyone, lol.
That post describes my experience as well.
Lady have you had sex on the brain lately or what?
I voted yes. But I’ll be the first to admit that maybe it just seems that way to me because that’s normally the kind of woman I’m attracted to/ or am able to get.
I’m not sure that’s entirely an admission thing. The word submissive, in a sexual context, means more than letting your partner take the lead. Subs want to be dominated. They want to be controlled. They enjoy master-slave (or mistress-slave) relationships.
At least, that’s how I’ve always heard the term used, and, while I don’t really have experience in that area, I know people who have, and I have read a lot about it. (I don’t know why so many people like spontaneously telling me things I would think would be private.)
In my experience, my partners generally preferred to be dominated- not in the sense of role-playing or dom/sub-type sex, but they wanted it done to them, rather than be the ones doing it. The ones with strong personalities in everyday life enjoyed letting me take control in lovemaking, but so did the quiet, shy girls.
Do you mean when animals have sex, the males mount the females? That doesn’t necessarily translate to submission. You can like being on the bottom so to speak while not identifying as a submission.
This is In My Humble Opinion so your opinion expressed above and people who said “oh no, most women are not” are equally valid. Since you don’t even seem to know how to define submissive for yourself and are disinclined to use the accepted definitions of the word there is no way for me to respond. A myriad of surveys and studies have been done on this subject, but those won’t do you much good until you decide what submissive is.
You might not be the only one wondering that: BlueCoat has SDMB categorized as Adult/Mature - About This Message Board - Straight Dope Message Board.
I like taking turns, but overall, I prefer taking a more submissive role in sex, even to the point of mild BD/SM type stuff.
I guess I fall into the classic stereotype of being ridiculously dominant/aggressive in everyday life, so I like to relinquish control with the person I trust the most in the world during playtime.
That’s a more extreme and codified kind of submission. This seems to be a more general and relative question.
Oh, I know. My point is that people just don’t usually use the term that way when self-identifying. I don’t think that women are less likely to identify as submissive so much because of girl power, but because they don’t see merely not being the dominant partner as being submissive.
Men are also told that they need to be powerful, but they don’t usually call themselves dominant. At least, in my experience, more men identify as submissive than dominant. On the sites I mentioned in my previous post, I see more guys looking for a mistress than women looking for a master (if that’s even the right term).
It honestly seems to me that women are more often generally submissive, but there’s a sizable minority that are very dominant. There’s very little general dominance. The exact opposite goes with men.
I’d say people tend to be submissive in sex.
I’ve never met a guy who did not enjoy occasionally being dominated in sex, and I’ve met quite a few who prefer it. I’ve only met one man who truly relished taking a dominant role, and a handful who could get in to it now and then to please their partner.
We all want to get swept away, to let go, and to have that plausible deniability when it comes to getting dirty.
What I think this question really means (not that you meant it this way – just what it boils down to) is, do most women want to be the object of desire/ center of attention/ one who gets tied up? (otherwise there’s no one to submit to)
Note that I am talking about consensual sex here.
Anyway, seems to me that in recent years there is a definite increase in men who want to be chased/ kept/ spoiled/ tied up/ dominated etc.
Maybe it’s just more acceptible for them to express it now. I don’t know.
Male, 40ish, and I don’t think most women are submissive as I mean the term.
I think this topic is too damn important for blind guesswork and supposition, so as a committed(three times to date) researcher for The Straight Dope I am dedicating whatever time it takes to finding the definitive answer. Ladies, if you drop me a line via pm or email, I will start fitting you all into my schedule.