Why would anyone want to go through life with this kind of defeatist attitude?
When I use the term “Incel”, I’m talking about the original meaning of the term before it got hijacked by extremists: someone who who wants to have a sexual relationship but is unable to find a romantic partner despite repeated attempts. I’m not talking about the hateful ideology/mental illness displayed by Elliot Rodger and a handful of others.
Incel is a useful concept. Maybe this is a losing battle on my part, but I don’t want to let Elliot Rodger or Nikolas Cruz define what an Incel is, anymore than ISIS gets to define Islam.
Dude, the weird chubby girl at the coffee shop will steal your soul with Airwolf grade moves in bed.
Even the original creator of the word (a woman talking about anyone who isn’t having sex and would like to) has ceded it - so I think its time to let it go.
Would sex robots help those that want to have sex but don’t have a partner? I sort of doubt it because if your hand isn’t doing it for you - or any of the other solo sex toys on the market - there really isn’t a reason to say that a more expensive toy will. Its like thinking if you only had a Mac Book Pro you’d write a novel - but you haven’t written the novel with pen and paper or your current desktop or the chromebook you have.
The term “incel” is inherently problematic. “Involuntary celibate”. Hmm, as a person who’s never been on the internet or read the news before, what does that mean? Well, involuntary anything is generally a bad thing; it emphasizes a loss of control of something that one normally controls. And what’s this ‘celibacy’ business? Isn’t that a monk thing? Like an entire lifestyle? How does a person find themselves forced against their will into a lifestyle? Are they slaves or something?
Speaking as a male who is single, wishes he wasn’t, and believes that I’m doomed to this fate no matter what I do - I would never describe myself as an involuntary celibate, even if the term hadn’t been deliberately poisoned. Because the term is inherently poisoned. It’s accusatory. And thanks but no thanks; I’m doomed to die alone, but it’s due to my inadequacies, not some sort of female plot!
So yeah, don’t bother trying to ‘reclaim’ that word. It was never decent to start with.
I believe in the near future that we will have the technology for sex robots to be realistic enough that they will provide a reasonable facsimile for a sexual encounter with a human being. If this is the case, it will be a qualitative step up from toys like the Fleshlight.
Speaking as a male who seems to be perpetually single (don’t know what else to call myself since the Incel battle seems to be lost), I don’t just want a hole to provide lubricated friction for my genitals. I actually do enjoy other things like cuddling. I can’t cuddle with a Fleshlight. But I could cuddle with a RealDoll.
What word should we use then? This is a real issue that real people face. I think we should be able to talk about it without being lumped in with Elliot Rodger.
Incels have always been around. They were the subject of countless teen movies in the 1980s.
They don’t need sex: they need to break out of their toxic circlejerk paradigm and become better human beings capable of having a conversation.
How about “unhappily unattached”?
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There are many men below average, and also many women. So the men have plenty of options, if they accepted reality.
The problem isn’t lack of companionship, since plenty of people are okay with that, but dissatisfaction with lack of companionship and the unwillingness to do anything practical about it. The mismatch between perception and reality is where therapy could help. Or a good yente.
And yeah, robots won’t help a bit.
Single.
The baseline problem that spawns incels isn’t that they’re not having sex. It’s that they’re not satisfied with their romantic prospects. They claim that the issue is one of sex because it seems like such a small thing to ask to them - just a simple lay! Is that so much to ask? Jeez, don’t be so frigid!
Of course once you soak a single person in an incel forum long enough they’ll get twisted up and start claiming all sorts of wild things about their situation, but if you’re talking about people who haven’t taken the poison pill yet? Single.
Incels celebacy is purely voluntary.
It’s their decision to behave in a way that turns women away. It’s their decision to think the only women worthy of their attention are supermodels. It’s their decision to think of women as fleshlights with breasts.
There’s nothing involuntary about it.
The hunger for touch and physical affection is, legitimately, a big problem for those who are… whatever-you-want-to-call-it. Especially in a society like ours, which has few opportunities for socially acceptable physical human contact with people you’re not already intimate with.
But I don’t think a sex doll, no matter how realistic, would really satisfy that hunger, not even as well as getting a cat or a dog would.
I suppose we could combine their behavior and hookup status, and call them aCels.
(Not sure whether I’m joking or not.)
That is how I feel as well. Massage (the non-sexual kind) would be another way to get touch in a socially acceptable way. And there are a ton of high touch career options - health care, elder care, day care… But pets are wonderful.
Perhaps you are unaware of recent advances in technology.
This isn’t specifically a sex doll, but scientists in Japan have invented a robot named Paro to be a companion to the elderly. Paro is a robotic baby harp seal. It’s been shown to have a calming effect on dementia patients.
I think it’s only a matter of time before we have sex robots that can provide a reasonable enough approximation of romantic companionship to actually be a useful therapeutic aid to some people.
While incels and other single people doubtlessly are feeling a lack of human touch, I’m not at all confident that getting it would fill the void in their lives. (I mean, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t fill the void in my life.)
What these people want is a relationship. Well okay, what they want now is a harem of sex slaves. But what they wanted originally was a relationship.
Yeah, having a relationship can fill several voids, of which a lack of human touch is only one.
There’s always this tendency in the realm of dating/sex/relationships to think that if someone is unsuccessful in it, that it must therefore be their fault.
My singleness is entirely my fault; if I wanted not to be single I could accomplish that fact by the simple expediency of changing virtually everything about myself. Lose 100 more lbs. Change entire wardrobe. Get a cell phone and register for several social medii. Learn to cook. Learn to like housework. Discard and replace all hobbies with more common/acceptable ones (though liking Marvel Movies is still okay). Learn to like animals, the outdoors, and alcohol. Become a starry-eyed christian of some stripe.
Now, one could say that I don’t need to do all these things. But could I really claim to be trying to make myself romantically appealing if I cut corners? Certainly not. But the fact I’m not doing all this is still entirely my own fault, I could at least be trying.