Sexually active straight women Have you ever been asked by a one-night stand or newish lover to have sex without a condom? Were you on the pill or similar BC? Did he know that? Did you acquiesce? How did you feel afterwards? Have you ever asked a male lover to go without?
Sexually active straight men Have you ever asked a one-night stand or short-term lover if you could have sex without a condom? Did you ask if she was on BC? Did she acquiesce? Also, has a woman asked you not to wear one?
Am avoiding long-term relationships wherein partners can exchange STI test results or want to have a child. Also, because this is related to risking an unwanted pregnancy, I’ve kept it to heteros. But if you are gay or bi and feel your experience is relevant, certainly answer. Same goes for ‘Heat of the moment, oops we forgot’ stories, where no one asked for a condom and no one protested (but again, there can be a fine line, so contribute if you’d like).
I was once asked to go without by a guy I hadn’t been dating for very long. I told him “no way in Hell.” I don’t think I was on any backup method at the time, but even if I had been, I still would have told him “no way in Hell.”
I’ve had sex with many people without a condom, on the first time even. I’m lucky I didn’t catch anything. I did at one point catch a rash but it was easily cured with a topical acid. Usually I pulled out though so that at least decreased the chance of pregnancy.
Now I am married and we don’t use any sort of birth control ever.
Yes, I’ve been asked. You know how I’m a part time hippie chick, right? Well, with the territory come some fairly flaky hippie boys with some *way *out there excuses. This guy actually told me he wouldn’t wear a condom because it “impeded the flow of Kundalini and would stop us from achieving perfect union.” I asked him if he regularly worked magick (other than sex magick) and he eagerly assured me he did, and just last week had done this awesome prosperity working whereby his Will had created a job opening for him in Asheville, where he’d always wanted to live, and he was going to move there from Chicago in a few days.
“So, you can send your energy to North Carolina from Illinois, but you can’t send it through half a millimeter of latex?”
“Um…”
He wore the condom. A fun time was had by all, although I think he might have given me scabies.
Sexually active straightish woman here:
Yes, I’ve had a problem insisting men wear a condom. I know it’s really really stupid, but when they said they didn’t use them I guess I didn’t have the guts to say I wouldn’t have sex with them. I do have an IUD. They knew that, so I guess that’s part of why they balked at condom use. I have felt pretty stupid afterwards. Luckily I’m still disease free (I’ve been tested several times). I’d never ask a male to go without.
I hope if I somehow became non-monogamous again I could do better than I did in my past.
I should elaborate that I’ve certainly had sex without a condom before, but always in the context of an established, monogamous relationship. (Or at least one that I thought was monogamous at the time.)
Only have time for a quickie answer at the moment- in my single days, on a Caribbean cruise, hooked up with a woman in a rest room right off of the pool area. Yeah, I know. Classy. This was after hours, we had stumbled there from the disco. Anyway, we got right down to it with nary a discussion about protection. There she is, sitting on the sink and there I am, pumping away with all my gusto, and a split second before I erupted, she said “pull out and do it on my tits- I don’t want to get pregnant!”
Seconded. I did come of age in the 70’s, ya know. Back then a lot of us had never even seen a condom or pack of b.c. pills (not out in the sticks, anyway).
No, and I would not. And if a woman (new relationship or fling) asked me not to wear one, I expect it would be a mood-killer and Pinky the Monster would probably de-Hulk and turn back to puny Banner because I’d think she was trying to get pregnant.
Engaged now, still use two forms of birth control.
Ahhhh…the early to mid-80s. A simpler time. Back then, we thought you didn’t have to worry about aids unless you happened to be a Haitian homosexual. Being neither, I froliced au naturel at every opportunity…
Seconded, and when I was on birth control, I rarely used condoms either, pregnancy being the scarily realistic thing and disease being the happens to other people thing.
Yeah, back in the 70s, when I was young and single and foolish. I WAS on The Pill, and of course back then almost nobody worried about disease, since just about everything we knew about could be cured with a penicillin shot. The first time I had sex, I was on The Pill, but neither of us brought up the subject of birth control. I guess he figured that he’d take his chances, he was already lucky that night.
For a one-night stand or short-term lover, no I have not and would not go without. Honestly, in theory I’d love to have a different girl every day of the week. But I have a committed girlfriend, she’s on the pill, and we’ve both tested clean for STDs. So we don’t use condoms now, and you know what? That is the best reason to have a committed relationship.
