I’m a straight male. I had dozens of one-night stands. I only used a condom if the woman asked me to. I was tested for STDs several times and was always clean.
I think the culture of fear in the US has led to an exaggeration of the risks of unprotected sex. I had unprotected sex with dozens of women. They surely each had had unprotected sex with lots of men before having sex with me. If you believe the propaganda, I should have caught something at least once.
I think by exaggerating the risks we do a disservice to people. It’s like when crack came along in the 80s. The news was full of stories saying that crack is so addictive that if you try it even once you will be addicted. That simply wasn’t true. And when someone tries it and doesn’t get addicted, what are they to think? Do they think, “Well, I got lucky but I’d better not try it again”? No. They think, “The reports were a lie. I’m not going to listen to those people anymore”. Why should I listen to these hysterical people who suggest that I will surely get an STD if I have unprotected sex? It’s not true. Yes, there is a risk of getting an STD. But don’t try to scare us with lies and exaggerations. You will not get the behavior you are seeking.
Yep, me too. Sometimes I even did the same dumbass thing over and over. If any woman had ever asked I would have worn one but I don’t remember anyone ever asking. This was mainly in the 70s and early 80s when nobody had ever heard of AIDS, the college health unit could cure anything with a pill and birth control was everywhere. A golden age.
My kids have had the condoms lecture, more than once, and thankfully they hear it a lot from school and TV too. I am horrified that they may be as stupid as their dad.
Roger that. Back when drugs were fun and sex couldn’t kill you.
Straight male who has never worn a condom. Never bothered back when I was young, foolish and thinking with my dick. Always asked about birth control, but I never slept with random strangers, so I usually knew that she was probably clean. Now, of course, I’m married and much older. Presumably wiser as well.
My ex lived with three other girls one term in college. One of them got an STD, talk about being bang on for stats!
One of my mom’s colleagues (a doctor) worked in an on-campus clinic at some university and said that the most of his time was spent testing for and treating STDs.
I’ve only used a condom once, and hated it so much I decided that if the situation came down to “no condom, no sex”, I’d much rather pass on the sex and just spank the monkey (my hand never demands a condom). Just the thought of a condom makes my skin crawl.
Luckily, my period of full-on promiscuity ended around the time that AIDS started to rear it’s ugly head to non-Haitian heteros. I’ve been in long(-ish) term relationships or married since about 1987.
I don’t use one if I don’t feel like it. If she decides she doesn’t want to do it because I don’t have one that’s fine by me, although that has only happened once. That said, I do usually wear one early on in a relationship.
I’m also doubtful on the prevalence of STDs. If 25% of girls had something (I have even read 30% of everyone has herpes) then I would’ve definitely had caught something by now.
I feel like a poster child for smart girls who do stupid things…but thank god for Plan B. Granted, I knew the guy very well, to the point I knew he both normally used condoms and got tested on a regular basis, so I wasn’t worried about STDs, only pregnancy.
Oh, and more to the OP, he didn’t ask to go without, we just didn’t have one, and were going at it too hot ‘n’ heavy to be thinking clearly.
How often do you get tested? Perhaps you’re asymptomatic.
Regardless, it’s sort of amusing how many adults still go by the old standard ‘She looked clean’ or ‘I’d know if he had something’ – the sort of thing you’d smack a teen for saying.
Or perhaps I just never caught anything. I’ve come out clean in tests every time. I don’t deny I wasn’t taking a chance when I didn’t wear condoms during one-offs and short relationships but I don’t think I was playing Russian roulette either.
I think people follow the old standard because its true most of the time. My girlfriend ‘looks clean’ and I would know if she had something. Does that mean she probably has the clap? Also, in my experience, most people are more worried about pregnancies than STDs.
I only have sex in the confines of a relationship, and we go sans condoms very rarely. I’ve been on BC for 5 years and we’ve both tested clean in my current relationship and we’d been together around a year before I first let it happen. Like I said, it’s rare, when I should not be ovulating, and he always pulls out too. It’s just a little treat every now and then but not even close to a habit.
I don’t fuck around too much with this stuff. Yeah, sex is way nicer without a condom. But I don’t want a baby, an abortion*, or a disease. So he wears a condom. Boo freaking hoo. We will survive until we get to a point in our relationship and lives where we don’t need to use one anymore. And our sex is still great using one, it will only get better later.
I am very surprised at the responses in this thread. Yes some people did preface their responses with “it was the 70s we didn’t know” etc but still. I did not know this many people, men and women, pretty much do not care or refuse to wear condoms.
*I definitely have nothing against abortions, very pro-choice, but I’d rather use preventive measures than have one myself, and accidents do happen even when being careful so not hating on anyone
Yup. I used to do the one-night-stand thing a lot, and I was very, very carefull. I remember one guy that I brought home with me. When I handed him a condom, he said “Aw man, I really hate these things.” Then he looked at me expectantly, obviously hoping I’d take it back. He saw the look on my face and said something along the lines of making an exception for me since I was so gosh darn cute. At that point, though, I was done. He went home with no nookie.
I am honestly amazed at this thread. I always wondered who these people were that didn’t care about protection, and now I know.
I have never had unprotected sex. Ever. Boyfriends, flings, one night stands, I have always insisted on condoms (though with a few boyfriends we’ve switched to something else after both testing clean).
When I was 9, I was told that one of my uncle’s had gotten HIV some years before and it had just developed into AIDS. I think this had an effect on me. I also came from a family where my mother never tried to pretend to say wait until marriage. My mother told me flat out to have sex before I married someone, to make sure that person took care of my needs before their own, and on occasion even put condoms in my christmas stocking. Maybe this has all affected my attitude. Or maybe I’m just lucky.
“Unprotected sex” is generally used to mean sex without a condom, so I would say that you have had unprotected sex. You may never have had sex without contraception, and you may never have taken on very much risk of contracting an STD, but I don’t think you can say you haven’t had unprotected sex.
Nope, but with the ladies in question I knew them, and usually knew their last several sexual partners. They were women who I was friends with first, and I trust their judgement.
I never said it was smart, and I admit that I’m lucky nobody ever caught pregant or worse.
Note: I have never had a harem. I have had a girlfriend while married, but that’s not a harem. I’m just not that lucky.
All academic now, of course, as I am in a monogomous relationship.
I thought about clarifying that after I wrote it… evidentially I should have. I have always been taught that unprotected sex refers to sex between untested partners, without birth control. By the definition I was taught, I have never had it.
Bearing in mind I’ve been with irishfella since I was 19 and we’re expecting our 1st baby…
Yes, I’ve been asked (usually because they didn’t have one on them, rather than anything else). I was on the pill from when I first became sexually active.
Suffice it to say that the first person I ever had non-latex protected sex with was irishfella, it was nearly 1 year into the relationship and it was after STD tests on both sides.
No condom, No sex, No exceptions- To be honest I never had anyone object that strongly once I made my feelings on the issue clear.
I prefer not to use them, and in the confines of a relationship I refuse to wear them at all. Beyond dulling the sensations, they are uncomfortable and I cannot readily find my size in most convenience stores. It would kind of kill the mood to have to run a twenty min. errand to the store that i know carries the correct selection.
I’ve had plenty of one nights, and short term partners that I enjoyed without the use of a condom. Basically, I would ask her if she’s on BC, and if the answer was yes, the followup was “anything I ought to know about, or NEED to use this thing for?” If the answer was no, then I saw no reason to use it. I did keep some available if she requested, and I would comply if asked, but otherwise it was bareback all the way.
