Oh dear heaven, I’m sitting here wheezing trying to suppress the laughter!
First I saw the ads for sheep breeders and sheep vitamin supplements.
Then I went to a different page and saw one for “Are you hot?”.
Then I went to a different page and saw one for “Blow-up dolls (not anatomically correct)” next to one for Yahoo Music (I guess to get the dolls and Dollys in the mood).
Yep, this thread has definitely been crawled by Google’s bots!!
I can just hear the folks at Texel Sheep Breeders now…
“No, Mr. Briston, that’s not what we meant. We don’t care that you clicked on a Google ad on the Straight Dope or what it seemed to imply.”
Ooo! Ooo! Sign me up for the “on farm fecal egg counting kit”!
Looks like alpacas have also wormed their way in here. They are rather wooly.
“Turnbough Club Lambs. Raising club lambs with muscling, correctness, and showring appeal.”
Yeah. That’s hot.
But you see, Club Lambs make me think they’re all pierced in trendy places, rolling on ecstasy and dancing to techno, looking for a quick hookup in the unisex bathroom.
Hal’s standards are so much higher than that.
Higher standards? Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t we talking about someone who enjoys banging sheep? Seems to me it doesn’t matter if they’re au naturel, shaved and tattooed, or multiply-pierced with a glowstick up the butt.
Then again, I’m hardly an expert in this area. My tastes are markedly different.
If I were one of Hal’s co-workers, I’d be printing a copy of this comic strip right about now, then taping it up in his office tomorrow.
There once was a Doper named Hal
Who had an off-white wooly pal
He took her to bed
And later he said
“Baby, ewe’re my kind of gal!”
I think you win the Limerick Contest.
Said a randy Smart Doper named Briston
to the sheep he was frantically fistin’
“Is this good for you, pet?
Am I making you wet?
For if not, I can put the whole wrist in!”
I’ll join a pile-on, I ain’t proud! 
Doper Hal said “It’s just my luck
My name’s on a thread that just sucks.
My sheep needs some feed
So I’m gong to Sneed’s
Feed & Seed (Formerly Chucks).”
[QUOTE=Draelin]
But you see, Club Lambs make me think they’re all pierced in trendy places, rolling on ecstasy and dancing to techno, looking for a quick hookup in the unisex bathroom.
This ad raised a quite different image in my mind… I pictured a Norwegian whaling ship sailing up the Ohio river and stopping at a sheep pasture. A whistle sounds and all these tall, blond men swing down off the ship on lanyards as they do in pirate movies. They are all wearing peajackets and watch caps and carrying belaying pins in their teeth. Once ashore, they separate the sheep from the lambs, so to speak. They start clubbing the lambs to death a la those anti-seal hunting environmental films.*
*personally, I like your stoned dancing sheep interpretation more. My mind just doesn’t work that way, I guess.
I just can’t resist:
Whilst darning a sock one fine day,
Dear Hal was overheard to say
“My loins are so wooly
I’ve felt quite the bully
From pleasuring the sheep herd all day”.
Six pages and over 14,000 page views.
Come on, folks. Only 86,000 page views to go!
**Hal Briston **had a little lamb
To this he must admit
But it’s all right if lamb he had
Roasted on a spit
I was visiting a friend last week, and with no knowledge of this thread, she played an AC/DC song spoof for me: Dirty Deeds Done With Sheep. Lyrics, sound file, and more here.
:smack:
ok, now can someone tell me how to UNLOCK it afterwards? managed to lock 4 workstations so far… :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack:
Click Alt-Ctrl-Del and sign on. Session restored.
Strange way for this thread to come back to life.
Hal majored in animal husbandry in college*
*until they caught him at it.