Did you ever get your revenge on the coworker that started this thread?
Hal if you need help with this project, I will hold the cow-orker down, whilst you paint him purple. 
[spoiler]I’m sure you know that song is really by Ko-Ko.
–Mal, recent Mikado and perpetual pedant.[/spoiler]
sorry Askia - your song should be sung by Hal!
but since Hal’s got himself a brand-new lamb, I’ll spare you the whole song.
"Now I just need hip waders and some Velcro, too
I’m hopelessly devoted to ewe!
But now this thread will not hide, Dopers won’t let it slide -
Oh, out of my head, Hopelessly devoted to ewe…"
I’m sure Hal’s thinking, “Ewe rotters!”
I don’t know why this thread hasn’t gotten old (to me) yet. It just hasn’t.
It is truly timeless and Hal is now a legend. Worse things have happened to people.
Only eight pages? Dang.
I’ve heard rumors that Hal is known to play Santa in Northern NJ Christmas parades. For some reason, rather than the traditional reindeer, the sleigh is drawn by 8 really, really cute sheep. When Santa was asked "Why Sheep?’ he replied that there was no season that he could imagine that couldn’t be made better by accessorising with sheep. (Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink. You Know what I mean?)
And Hal, congratulations on the newest addtion to your flock.
Aww the baby’s so cute. And this thread is still so funny.
This thread is like an unending skein of yarn spun from fine lamb’s wool. Knit it?
Never, after SkipMagic’s enlightened re-opening, has there been an apter time to make use of the French phrase meaning ‘let’s get back to what we were talking about’ - Retournons à nos moutons!
Hal, congratulations on the birth of your little ewe lamb!
And now–back to some holiday tunes, altered especially for you. Or, rather, back to the start of a holiday tune, altered especially for you.
Dopers, I know you’ll all find this a worthy application for your twisted creativity! Help me polish this thing up, wouldja?
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell flock
Jingle bell sheep in jingle bell sleep
Dreaming of reaming that they get from Hal
He’s the jingle sheep’s special pal.
Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell flock
Jingle bell push in jingle sheep tush
(I’m missing a line here–someone help me out!)
In the derieeeeeeeere!
And the night time
Is the right time
To hide your sheep away.
'Cause the bell time is a swell time…
For Hal to have a little roll in the hay.
Giddyap, jingle sheep, pick up your feet.
Get the heck out of here…
Or you’ll be mutton for a pervy sheep glutton!
Watch it, jingle bell
Watch it, jingle bell
Watch it, jingle bell floooooock!
Pretty good, thanks. She’s on an apnea monitor, since she seems to have this habit of forgetting to breathe for 15-30 seconds at a time. If the alarm doesn’t get her going again, then it sure as hell sends my wife and I running over to give her a little pinch. Other than that, things are good.
Alas, I never got the opportunity, at least not in person. We had a round of layoffs last month, and he got the boot. Still, I made sure to find out his personal e-mail address. Wonder if he likes all that porn spam? 
Of course, so is Steve Bartman.
Hal Briston has a present to put right there…
In your derieeeeeeeere!
Of course its fun. Isn’t that stating the bleedin’ obvious?
My apologies if this has been posted already, but I haven’t had time to scan 6+ plus pages.
Currently number 13.
Might not be work safe, except for Hal’s office.
There was a young man named Hal
To sheep he was such a pal
But the ram took exception
To something I mustn’t mention
And now his condition is critical
(With apologies to The Boss)
You better watch out.
You better beware.
The rumor is out
In the frosty air
**Haaaaaaaal Briston ** is coming to town
**Haaaaaaaal Briston ** is coming to town
Hal Briston is coming to town.
The sheep will leave in fast time
They are really on the run.
They all know Hal’s fav’rite pasttime:
Sex with sheep is really fun.
Haaaaaaaal Briston is coming to town
Haaaaaaaal Briston is coming to town
Hal Briston is coming to town.
The Wise Men don’t bring Hal gold
No frankensene or myrrh.
He just wants a black sheep
One that says “Yes sir, Yes sir.”
So You better watch out.
You better beware.
The rumor is out
In the frosty air
**Haaaaaaaal Briston ** is coming to town
Haaaaaaaal Briston is coming to town
Hal Briston is coming to town.
He just makes life miserable
The sheep are in a jam.
Their code name for Hal’s mint jelly.
Cause he’s always on the lamb.
So You better watch out.
You better beware.
The rumor is out
In the frosty air
Haaaaaaaal Briston is coming to town
Haaaaaaaal Briston is coming to town
Hal Briston is coming to town.
I want to tell you both good luck. We’re all counting on you.