Sex....

In My Humble Opinion
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  1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?

No, never really considered it, but may in the future if we need to spice things up at some point. We’re only 2 years into the marriage, so things are still OK in that area.

  1. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?

Very important for me. I need it like I need oxygen (well, almost). It’s part of our foreplay almost always, and very often turn into a 69, so we both get off at the same time.
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.

I have learned where my wife’s is - upper vagina roof, but closer to the middle than the text books usually place it.

  1. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?

I don’t know how common it is. We haven’t done it together per se because I’m not really interested and having regard to respective sizes I don’t think it would be good for her. But having said that, in the heat of the moment, a finger inserted there at the right moment (i.e., when during coitus) will push her over the edge to orgasm.

Male 39

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[Cher Horowitz] You see how picky I am about my shoes and they only go on my feet. [/CH]

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The wife is right here, so I’ll answer for us both…

  1. Do you and your partner use toys?

Rarely. We have a few, but she’s more of a perfunctory sex person; it’s not that she doesn’t like sex, just that she warms up fast and, due to her preference for doing it just before bed, we don’t have a lot of time to run through. I could go for a little more playing.

  1. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?

I know what fellatio is, but am more apt to just call it a blowjob. Or head. I fucking love head, giving and receiving. The wife enjoys giving–she feels oddly empowered rather than submissive or dominated. Problem is, our parts aren’t that compatible. She’s got a small mouth, I’m blessed with a not-small penis. So while I get it when I ask, it’s usually an aspect of foreplay. If, say, she’s on her period, or just doesn’t feel like backing the BJ with sex, I’m fine with her finishing me orally. It’s important, though, that I can see it. Men and visual experience and all.

  1. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?

She digs it, as mentioned above. Likes giving more than receiving. We bought some GoodHead from a sex party last year, but never use it. She doesn’t mind the taste/texture of semen.
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? Yes. Both ways.

  1. Is anal sex pretty common? Nope…see my answer to question 2. Hell, until my wife I’d never even HAD anal sex before. At least I can say I’ve done it–exactly twice–now. I fuckin’ love it, but while it feels good for her after a while, the getting-to-the-feeling-good is horridly painful for her, and I just can’t bring myself to hurt her like that at my behest. If she offers, I’m on it.

  2. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?

She does. Simple one. She has never used it for solo-play, but every once in a while we’ll bring it out during a session.

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  1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?

Yes. GF loves using them, she’s very happy she found a guy who isn’t threatened by them (some men in her past didn’t like using them, felt they were being “replaced”-- personally, I like feeling augmented).

  1. Men - how important is fellatio?

Important. A good blow job is a great thing. Personally, I’m an even bigger fan of hand jobs, but that’s a personal quirk.

Swallowing isn’t required every time, but it’s a nice treat. The women I’ve been with who’ve enjoyed swallowing are unanimously the best women I’ve been with (in bed, that is).

Basically-- sexiness is an attitude more than anything.

  1. Not a woman. I’ve had GF’s use flavored lotions, but not very often. IME, the gels are too gooey/sticky, but the more lotion-y kind are okay (one GF liked the coconut-flavored stuff).

  2. Does everybody know where their G-spot is?

Yes-- but not every woman has a G-spot! Some women I’ve been with have been all-clitoral, nothing in their vagina sets them off. Others have orgasms through their vagina, no need at all to stimulate their clit-- very sensitive G-spot.

FYI, the latest research says there isn’t a G-spot par se-- it’s really just a thinner vaginal wall that allows the bottom/back of the clitoral shaft (the part of the clitoris you can’t see) be stimulated from within. It’s basically a matter of random physiology, alas.

As for my prostate, yup, I know where it is, and I’ve had GFs know where to find it.

  1. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?

All my girlfriends have enjoyed anal stimulation to varying degrees (all positively); about half of the women I’ve been with enjoyed anal sex. Never a pain issue-- I’ve never had a GF suffer pain from it, lube, patience & trust are your friends-- it’s just really a matter of personal preference, IME.

FYI, the ones I’ve introduced to anal got to REALLY like anal. So much so that I really think women who refuse it on principle are missing out (again, anal stimulation, not necessarily anal sex).

  1. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?

I’ve bought nice ones for GF’s before, and some GF’s have had nice ones themselves. But IME there really are only three kinds that are needed in the drawer, so to speak: a good pocket vibe, a good penetrating vibe, and a Hitachi Magic Wand. The latter are the best.

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We use some toys, though not as often as we used to. But we do have one vibrator, a Panasonic Panabrator, that has been chugging along for more than 20 years! It’s starting to give out, and I’ve been looking for a replacement. I don’t think Panasonic makes vibes any more, so I’ll probably get her a Toshiba Magic Wand. Both are plug-in-the-wall AC vibes. Batteries just don’t cut it. They don’t have the intensity she desires, and they conk out.

Important, especially as I get older. Male sexual potency is on a steady decline from age 12. I love it, and I love it especially when she finishes me. Like a lot of “nice guys” I would get head only long enough to get hard enough for intercourse. Finally, I asked my wife to get me off orally. She did, and it felt totally amazing. And frankly? I deserve it. Not to brag, but I’m very good at performing oral sex on women. For some reason, most of the women I dated before meeting my wife have been bisexual, and one took the time to teach me well. So, when I perform oral on my wife, I’m almost always able to get her off, usually several times.

N/A
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Yep, it’s about the depth of one of my fingers in on the “roof” of the vagina, a sort of rough patch. I stroke that while licking and sucking the clitoris. It’s actually the interior portion of the clitoris, which is a lot larger than the little hooded nub that is externally visible.

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We rarely have anal intercourse, but sometimes use a small dildo or butt plug for back there to get the sensation of “double penetration” in the context of a monogamous relationship. Much more often, we engage in analingous or “rimming”. This is always right after we’ve had a shower and are squeaky clean. It’s just flesh. It drives her wild, and I’ll rim her while rubbing her clitoris with my thumb, and that seems to give her the most intense orgasms.

See above. It’s not fancy at all. It’s a solid, workman-like device that has seen a lot of use for a very long period of time.

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I’d suggest renting the film Kinsey. Liam Neeson plays the pioneering sex researcher, and the techniques he trained his interviewers to use might prove helpful. For instance, it was never “Do you masturbate?” but “When did you first masturbate?”. Great film.

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1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
We break out the box o’ fun maybe once every couple months. It has to be the right time- kids asleep, we’re not exhausted, plenty of evening left, a couple glasses of wine, and most importantly, she’s not so horny that she needs to get off immediately. This is usually the problem (not that it’s a problem).

2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
It’s only important in the sense that I love to know that she’s happy and willing to do it, but I don’t need it every time. Sometimes it’s just a precursor to other activities; sometimes she’ll kneel on the couch in front of me and will take her time with it, with the obvious intention of making it all about that blowjob that night. I’d say she finishes me that way 30-40% of the time. I love finishing that way- it sort of short circuits my brain for a minute, or something. We don’t really “call” it anything, other than references to “last night when I was blowing you…” type of thing.

3. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
She enjoys it, as evidenced by her actions. We’ve never used lotions.

4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
We know where hers is; she’s found mine but I didn’t love it so we rarely go there.

5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
She really loves having things there that are smaller than my dick. Fingers, butt plugs, a tongue, etc are all enthusiastically employed, but while we’ve done it a couple times, she says I’m too thick for her to really enjoy it.

6. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
She has a cock-shaped and sized vibrator that she uses maybe once a year, but a small vibrating egg that gets a lot of use. Other toys and dildoes are of the non-vibrating variety.

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My wife actually was a bookkeeper / phone order taker for one of the 3 or 4 largest retail sex-toy distributors. We are both rather vanilla. Very open and savvy and whatnot, just vanilla.

  1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?

She uses a Hitachi Magic Wand, and we both tested products for her employer, but no, we don’t. Just don’t have any interest in it.

  1. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it?

I actually actively dislike it. I’ve only received a couple of BJs, and teeth always distract me. I like a soft vagina, quite frankly.

  1. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?

She sorta likes to do it, but knows it’s not on my list. No lotions or anything.

  1. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.

More or less. Sorry for the vagueness.

  1. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?

She had it with her ex-husband, and liked it, but didn’t love it. I’m on the fence. If she asked me to, I’d do it, but my preference is the vag.

  1. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?

Her Hitachi Magic Wand is (I think) considered one of the very best vibes in the world. It’s a plug-in, and is pretty strong.

Joe

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Great idea, gaffa, I remember that movie now.

Thanks for your replies, this is really fascinating!
I do have a suggestion for those of you who like toys but find the cleaning/storing process cumbersome. Use one of the cleansers specifically designed for toys (silicone, TPR, glass, whatever) - it should be a matter of “spray on, wipe off”, so it shouldn’t take forever. Then, if it’s made of rubber, put the toy in a baggie and douse it with a bit of corn starch. The cornstarch will absorb extra moisture and help keep your toy supple.

Also take the batteries out, before storing.

A little toolbox with a combination lock is a good thing - you can designate the box to your “go to” person, in case (heaven forbid) something happens to you both. Have them destroy it, before your mother finds it! (lol, kinda, but seriously)

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  1. I’ve only had one partner out of 6 that liked toys. She liked clitoral stimulation while riding cowgirl-style, and other stuff.
  2. Fellatio is pretty darn important. I don’t usually like to “finish” that way, but occasionally it’s nice.
  3. Not a woman, but 3 out 6 seemed to enjoy the act on me. No lotions or accessories.
  4. If my g-spot is my prostate then yes I know where it is, but don’t crave stimulation of it.
  5. Only one out of 6 liked/wanted anal, same one with the toys. :wink:
  6. Not a woman, but only 1 out 6 had one (that I know of!)
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  1. Sometimes, for the sake of variety. And three feet of thin rope makes quite a good toy, too,

  2. No particular name. It’s a nice and unfortunately rare treat, and as for finishing that way, don’t be silly - I’ve only ever know two women who’d take it that far.

  3. {wrong gender}

  4. Again assuming you mean the prostate, more or less, but it does nothing for me.

  5. Occasional anal play with partial penetration. One other woman once managed to take me all the way a couple of times, but it was never a regular thing.

  6. {wrong gender}

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1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?

No. It’s never been suggested. I wouldn’t suggest it because A) wouldn’t want my husband to feel like I think he needs to be “augmented”, cause he doesn’t. B) what if I got to really liking them and the “old-fashioned” way didn’t work for me anymore?
I don’t know why he’s never suggested it to tell you the truth. In general he is all for gadgets.

2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?

We almost always use “blowjob” and I think it’s VERY important to him. I don’t “finish” him that way often, because I don’t want to miss the intercourse after.

3. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?

Until very recently I only enjoyed because he really enjoyed it, but in the last year my libido has made a big jump (because why??? I guess that ‘women get hornier in their late 30s’ thing is true for me. Also maybe deciding we were done having kids?) and I have an active craving for going down on him that I didn’t used to have. No flavored lotions or anything. that just sounds yuck. I like the way he tastes.

4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
No, though my best orgasms are from intercourse so something is getting stimulated.

5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
Tried it twice before we were married. Ouch. No thank you. I don’t know if he liked it. If he did he’s SOL.

Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?

No. I can imagine buying one only if I were widowed and I’m not sure how much I’d be willing to spend. And then I’d be afaid of either my parents or my kids finding it in the event of my untimely death. Just thinking about that makes be so embarassed I’d probably skip the purchase. You should sell the lock boxes. I can’t imagine who my go-to person would be. I don’t talk about sex with my friends. Actually I’m probably not in your target demographic. I would die before I would go to a sex toy Tupperware party.

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The lockbox isn’t a terrible idea, but it’s not as important as taking the batteries out of your toys when not in use. This not only extends the life of both the batteries and the toys, it prevents your entire family from knowing where you keep your toys, when you reach into the drawer for batteries for your sister’s camera, and in the process of closing the drawer, shift something just enough to set a couple of them off.

Yes, I keep the batteries in the same drawer with the vibrators. What, you can think of a better place for them?