I’m seeking humble (and not so humble) opinions, because I recently started work as an Independent Consultant for a sex toy and novelty company.
It’s like Tupperware, but for the bedroom.
My parties have been a total blast, I REALLY enjoy doing this because I’m funny (honestly, I am) and I need to get out of the house - I’ve been a SAHM for a few years now.
AND, now I can say “clitoris” to a whole roomful of strangers.
However…
I’m supposed to be all worldly re: sex – I swear, I’m READING our company’s info as fast as I can – but truthfully, what’s happening at my parties is, I’m realizing how naive I actually am.
So I thought I’d ask a few questions here and see what y’all have to say:
Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
1.) I’ve been with girls who like to bring in toys. It can be fun, but most of the time I prefer to just use the tools God gave me.
2.) I like head a lot, when it’s done by someone who’s into it. I’ve been with girls who just put me in their mouth and expect it to make me moan. I’ve also been with girls who enjoy giving a good blow job and the difference is night and day. Having an orgasm in her mouth is nice, but it doesn’t need to happen all that often. I usually prefer that it lead to other activities.
3.) I’ve never been a big fan of going down on girls, not because I’m lazy or selfish, but because I’ve yet to find a girl who’s scent is…less than overpowering.
4.) I can find the G-spot within a few seconds. Really, it’s not that hard.
5.) I’ve had anal sex with a girlfriend a few times. It was a birthday present to me. She was really into it when we first tried it, but eventually it just became one of those things we did every once and a while. Totally anecdotal, but a buddy of mine says that once he got his girl into anal she couldn’t get enough of it. He tells a tale of her waking him one night saying, “Baby, I need you to fuck me in the ass.”
**1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not? **Not really. The occassional vibrator. I could care less about it, I suppose.
2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally? We usually just call it ‘head’, and it is critical. It’s a dealbreaker. And yes, I *LOVE *it when she finishes me orally.
**4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here. ** No clue, really.
5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it? I have had anal with about 40% of my partners. I’ve found it to be all or nothing. The women who would do it were in to it. Those who did not favor it…well, we didn’t bring it up again.
Good on you, that’s something I’ve got on list of “jobs I’d like to give a whirl”
Which company are you working for?
Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
YES. All sorts, not just vibes. I have an ever-growing collection of 'em [and have pretty much sold my soul to Babeland.com]
Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
My partner, when I asked him this question gave me a look that translated to: “Duh”. And we use the word “blow job” [we’re also of the in-college set, so that might not apply to you]. Also “giving head” and “going down”.
Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
I LOVELOVELOVE giving head. And I have not met a flavored lube that I actually like - I WILL NOT buy lube that has sugar in it ['cause then I can only use it for oral, and I dislike uni-taskers], and the sugar-less lube has a very disagreeable aftertaste, IMHO. Plus, I like my partner’s flavor
Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
Yes, I know where my G-spot is, but cannot comfortably reach it on my own.
I also know where my partner’s prostate is.
Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
According to porn and erotica, anal is fairly common. I think that more folks are talking about it as well.
I enjoy anal by itself, but it’s not an every-day sorta thing. My partner feels much the same way - there’s too much prep involved to put it on the usual suspects list of activities.
Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
I have three vibrators - an Aqua Wand from Babeland, a Laya from Fun Factory [my first, and my fav!], and some name-less contraption from Doc Johnson
Once you exhaust your company resources, check out “The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex” and the Sexuality portal on Wikipedia [surprisingly, one of my go-to resources]. Also Pleasurists.com - weekly round-up of product reviews
Used to, recently haven’t had access. Just the occasional vibe to help get her off in positions that work better for me, or as an accessory to oral. Tried a vibe cock ring but I don’t think it helped all that much.
Also a dealbreaker for me. Love it when it’s good, would make me consider not getting into a serious relationship if it’s bad. Love finishing in her mouth, but using it to lead to other stuff is plenty enjoyable as well.
Oh, and I’d be surprised if not everyone knew the standard terms for oral, which are in terms of descending casualness fellatio, blowjob (no space in my mind), and head.
I can feel something different where all the diagrams say it’s supposed to be when I’m fingering a pussy, but either I’m doin it rong or my exes haven’t had much sensitivity there.
Only tried it a couple times. More trouble than it’s worth for me, but were I with someone really into it I’d give it another shot.
1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
Yup. I can’t really come without a vibrator–I’m really specific. (Female.)
**
2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?**
I like making my partner happy. Don’t really like the idea of putting on lotion–artificial tastes are kind of weird. I like the taste of actual skin, if that makes sense.
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
I’ve sort of found it with someone, but it didn’t really feel all that explosive to me. Just made me feel like I had to pee and then nothing happened. I’d rather just use my clitoris. So either I don’t have one or it’s defective. Or I’m lazy.
5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
I don’t really like anything there. Also had a really bad experience once, so I’m a little gunshy.
6. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
Eighteen dollar one. It’s nice, but I don’t really need a fancy one. This one does the trick perfectly.
1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
Rarely. I don’t know if there’s a good reason for why/why not except that we just don’t.
2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it?
I don’t know if it’s super-awesome-important but I’d definately notice and wonder if she never did it. I had a partner once who always bitched about it and would make sure to let me know that she was doing me a huge favor by doing it. 'Cause, you know, that’s real sexy. It’s not a real big deal if she “finishes” it; sometimes is nice and sometimes it’s better as just foreplay. I guess I’d mind if she got 85% of the way there and then got up and watched TV
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
I know where her’s is. I assume for me you’re refering to my prostate, a thing of which I am aware but have never tried (myself or for me) poking at.
5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
The partners I’ve done it with were “okay” with it but it was more something we did to mix it up than anything she went crazy for. But it’s not as though we only did it because I was the one bringing it up, either.
Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?**
We use toys less than once a month—we’re usually in the after glow when one of us will say “Could’ve used the vibrator/cockring”. We use them because they’re fun and we don’t use them because we get caught up in each other.
**
2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?**
Fellatio is important to my bf and myself but it wasn’t to every man I had sex with. Blowjob is not a tacky phrase but we usually use more descriptive and personal terms. I like him to finish and he likes to see that. This means a lot to both of us. I wouldn’t be so enthused about him finishing that way except he’s rarely really finished, so I get the best of both worlds.
3. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
I enjoy fellatio very much but I don’t enjoy lotions or food on his penis when I plan on tasting him.
**
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.**
I know where mine is for sure and so does he. 5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
Not all people enjoy anal sex. My friends are very open about sex and no woman I know admits to enjoying it although most have tried it. I do enjoy all the naughty aspects of anal sex and my bf loves that.
6. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
Yes, I have a fancy Rabbit with whirling beads, adjustable speeds and such but we seldom use it
I know a few ladies who run sex shops and put on these types of parties, so after years of exhausting research, here are my two cents…
You DEFINITELY need to master an air of ‘I could care less’ mixed with ‘Fun! Fun! Fun!’ when it comes to selling. It’s a bit like going to see a doctor – if you are at all embarrassed, they’ll sense that and everyone will be worse off for it. Also, all faults aside, Sex and the City is your friend. Most women wouldn’t even know what The Rabbit is without it.
That being said, you will get (and probably have gotten) a mix of Samanthas – they’re the ones setting up the parties and making the cocktails – and Charlottes, often brides-to-be, who blush at even the idea of jerking off. They often go for the simplest-looking vibes that they can use alone or during sex (and that won’t intimidate their SOs). Some won’t ever have had an orgasm in their lives – that’s where you come in.
Obviously you can’t examine each woman’s relationship in such a short period of time – though they do tend to open up pretty quickly – so you won’t know if they’ve never cum, if they have no sex drive due to birth control, if they’ve got a history of sexual abuse, if their SO has erectile dysfunction, if they’re closeted lesbians… it’s just not going to happen. So all you can really do is present them with options (in the form of merch, of course) – to spice things up or to help solve a problem –completely judgment-free. If there is a prude in the bunch, the trick is to both make her comfortable while keeping the others from feeling like she’s judging them.
Hope there’s some shred of help in there.
Also, fellatio is a pretty well-known term, though I’m not sure I’d go on at length about the so-called G-spot. You’re better off clarifying the clitoral vs. vaginal orgasm myth and explaining that the clitoris is just the tip of the iceberg, as illustrated here. It’s startling how few women (and men) know this.
1. Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not?
Sometimes. Because we feel like it.
2. Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
IANAM (I’ve never even played one on TV!), but my experience with them is that they like it to varying degrees, bearing in mind that those degrees range from “a lot” to “a whole fucking lot”. They tend to be extremely appreciative but not expecting of being “finished”.
3. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
I LOVE fellatio. I can get off on it, but even if I don’t it’s more fun than anything legal should be. I HATE flavored lotions. I like the taste of man, thankyouverymuch.
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
Yes, thank goodness.
5. Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
I’m not a fan. I’m not philosophically averse, but in practice, it hurts. It hurts during, and it hurts for days afterward. No thanks.
6. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
A drawerful. Fancy and otherwise.
1.) Never have used them. Wouldn’t be oppossed tho’.
2.) I like to give more than receive. As far as the receiving end goes it needs to be done by a woman who truly enjoys it as oppossed to a woman who is just going through the motions.
4.) Come on I’m a guy. It’s not hard to figure out. As far as her’s goes, it may take me a while to figure out were her “Hot Spots” are but hey, that’s half the fun of a new sex partner. Kind of makes me feel like some kind of perverted Christopher Columbus.
5.) Not really important to me but I could REALLY get into it if a woman asked. So far none have.
If I can suggest, be aware of the fact that not everyone at your parties may be heterosexual, and word your questions accordingly. So instead of “Ladies who like performing fellatio…”, perhaps “Those of you who like performing fellatio…” That will help make sure that it’s a welcoming environment for everyone.
Thank you for all of your replies and suggestions! So far the parties I’ve done have been for hetero couples - but yes, of course you’re right, matt_mcl.
Cat Fight - I’ll go find Sex and the City to rent @ Blockbuster, thanks! (yes I’m the one woman in America who’s never seen it) I agree with you, too, w/r/t being casual and fun, and accepting. It really is interesting to see what information people are sharing with their friends, and which “unusual” practices are actually quite common.
I just fret a little bit about my role. Like, one of our products is an intimate cleanser for women. I feel like soap and water is all a woman needs - if she’s bothered by anything that feels less-than-fresh after a shower, that’s something to take to the gyno. Don’t be masking symptoms - I can’t hawk that.
Another of our products is an edible cream that has some numbing qualities (for many women) that stop the gag reflex. I’m ambivalent about pushing that, though, particularly in the company of their spouses – what if she doesn’t LIKE fellatio? I don’t want to take away her excuse.
In all other ways, though, I feel like it’s a really healthy activity, buying and using sex toys and props and lotions and whatnot. It can be really empowering for women, and provide a way of improving communication between partners.
Shit, life is short - get those thrills while you can.
IME, women who don’t like giving head can always find another excuse not to.
FTR, I’m male, 26, and in an LTR with a 26-year-old female.
Do you and your partner use toys? Why or why not? She’s got a vibe but hardly ever uses it; she says she needs penetration to get her off, and I take her at her word since usually she can’t even come during oral. :eek:
Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally? Until this relationship I would have said it’s absolutely essential, but she doesn’t give it often and for some reason I can no longer come during oral anyway, so meh. 'Course, that doesn’t mean I’m not whooping and pumping my fist anytime she offers.
Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)? She enjoys it when she’s in the mood, and no. We tried chocolate syrup once, which was nice, but made it look like somebody had shit the bedsheets afterwards.
Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here. I know where hers is. I don’t think she knows where mine is but I’m okay with that 'cause I find it pretty uncomfortable to be touched there.
Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it? I was in a relationship with a girl like the one Lord Ashtar described in post 2 for a long time but frankly I’m not that into it myself. It feels a bit tighter, but it’s a lot of hassle.
Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one? See above- she’s got one of those egg-type dealies. I’m not much of an expert but it looks pretty cheap.
Nothing against y’all – our company is just geared towards women. Including their spouses at the parties is slightly controversial, though we do it (and I’ve enjoyed having men at the parties).
I should’ve phrased the title a little differently - frankly, I wasn’t sure WHAT to say.
Tried it once or twice a few years ago. Wasn’t bad but we never got in the habit and haven’t used toys in years. We have sex almost every day we’re together (I travel a lot) and don’t really ever think we’re missing something without toys.
Men - how important is fellatio? OK - wait - what do you even call it? I’ve been saying “fellatio” because I’m 44 years old, I think it’s tacky for me to say “blow job”. But are you even familiar with that term? And I’m assuming that pretty much ALL men like it - that’s true, right? Do you care if she “finishes” you orally?
I don’t “finish” from oral, (with very rare exceptions) but I think it’s important. I love it, she loves it. She’s great at it. Some women aren’t so good, and if I was with one of those, it would naturally be less important. If everything else was great, I could accept less blow jobs.
3. Women - do YOU enjoy fellatio? Do you apply lotions to him to make the flavor more palatable (or just for fun)?
Speaking for the women, I can say she’s crazy about it. She insists on it every time, plus in the car, at work, etc. I’m quite happy with her enthusiasm for this. She never has mentioned anything negative about the flavor.
4. Does everybody know where their G-spot is? I’m talking men AND women here.
n/a
Is anal sex pretty common? Are women enjoying it?
This is my first partner I’ve done anal with. We’re late 40s. She likes it now and then. I enjoy it, but don’t crave it. Two to three times a year one of us will suggest it and we’ll do it.
6. Women - do you have a vibrator? A fancy one?
We rarely use toys. It seems more like something that has to be scheduled, no kids liable to overhear, with plenty of time to play around and no alarm going off in a few hours…I mean, damn. I got implanted birth control just so I wouldn’t have to mess about for a few minutes each day or each event, toys require getting them out and washing them up and hiding them away, there’s effort involved when you’ve got offspring and we rarely bother.
He adores it, it’s a regular part of foreplay. Finishing him orally isn’t very common, which makes him appreciate and enjoy it more when I do.
I enjoy pleasing him, I enjoy the power to tease or tickle or torture or take his breath away. No potions or lotions, tyvm.
Yes.
Half my friends have tried anal at least once or twice, none of them include it as part of the menu. On those rare occasions we play with toys, anal play is likely to be involved, but not necessary for either of us.
Yes, not a fancy one though. The prices on some of those things boggle my mind, actually.
