Yeah, but it’s the kind of “barriers lowered” situation that some people need before they can open up. Sometimes it leads to finding out that your CoF really, really likes singing Julio Iglesias hits at karaoke, and sometimes that your pal was assaulted by a teacher.
It took me a long time to understand how often laughter isn’t a matter of people finding something funny but a response to confusion or embarrassment. Definitely of immaturity, but in not knowing better ways to deal with those feelings. sabernode, talk to your friend. Let him know that there was someone who listened.
And, sometimes, you have a loudmouth pal with no connection to the topic, who posts his own reaction to the hypothetical, then gets slammed and tries to learn from it.
This would be the time for you to graciously admit that while your comments may be true in some contexts and may be true for some boys at that age (cf. the movie Summer of 42), in fact, your comments were inappropriate in this thread where a friend cited a VERY YOUNG BOY for being squigged out by an older female’s inappropriate touching.
This is not a thread about being introduced sweetly into sexual manhood by a slightly older woman/girl; it’s about having your intimate space and body violated unwillingly by an older person in authority when you’re a little kid and have no defense and no way to say no. See the difference?
Just stop defending your position, which you might pose in another new thread if you feel strongly about it, and admit you committed a faux pas to post what you did HERE. Just getting more defensive and heated up isn’t helping your cause, okay? You’re in the wrong HERE-- not for all times and in all places, but in this thread. Don’t keep making a big deal out of it, because it’s not working, kwim?
That’s absolutely true, my friend, so I’m gone, with my apologies.
Spoken like a gentleman. 
I’m not sure if you’re getting what I’m saying. If I were in my right mind I wouldn’t have ever talked about such a thing with my drinking buddies in a group, not even sure if I’d discuss it with a friend privately, because I know the responses reported in the OP would be likely. So I think it is a possibility that he only brought this up because it is creating an ongoing problem for him severe enough to cause him to open up like that without considering the likely response. I’m sure he wishes the matter would be forgotten by that group, but I’m not so sure that is his primary concern, or that he wants to return to typical male behavior without addressing the original offense productively, something he will have to find another way to do.
I’ve always tried to act like one. I sometimes fail, but appreciate that you have have not pigeonholed me as a a jerk, but have tried to put me back on the right road. I know that, at best, I’m a chimp in recovery, but like to know when I fail. I’m old, but this dog can learn new tricks. Still, I remain thinking that SOME guys would not have been traumatized by that experience.
I think you just made a mistake, the same kind of mistake I’ve made before. But i’ll emphasize again that it would not be the same experience if they weren’t traumatized. The trauma results because they did not welcome such interaction, even if they were post-pubescent and straight doesn’t mean they want a female basketball coach fondling their junk. If they did then this matter would have come up in a completely different way.
Ya just couldn’t leave it lie, couldja? 
I think that is probably true.
There are also 14 year old girls who would not be traumatized by having an affair with a married 35 year old teacher. There are adult women who don’t experience their rape as emotionally traumatic, just a shitty disgusting thing that happened. There are orphaned people who felt a sense of profound relief when their parents died.
We tend to avoid tossing those possibilities out there when someone is discussing a traumatic experience with similar particulars because it sounds prescriptive if we do: “Well, I know some people would not be particularly messed up by that, so why should this one be so hurt by it?”
Me? Accepting a compliment gracefully and without making matters worse? How long have you known me? It’s what I do. 
Maybe, but maybe it’s the only time he felt unihibited enough to let it out. Maybe something reminded him about it and he said it among a group of his friends. His friends, who he expected would be there for him.
I’m sure some of them were abused by men, but teenage boys then and now would be less inclined to admit to it, let alone brag about it.
May I say, no, you can’t be that guy, at least on this thread.
Did you say anything? Or reach out and comfort him anyway?
Im not about to condemn his friends here. Sometimes it’s better to lighten a situation than confront it head on. It’s some sort of coping mechanism. Guys on a night out really don’t want other guys crying on their shoulder about sexual abuse.
I guess I didn’t get that memo either. “We” don’t have any interest in being empathic and supportive and stuff?
Fuzzy Wuzzy ain’t so fuzzy.
Not now, but in the past,
wuzzy?
Wow. Thank y’all for your responses. I didn’t expect to get any. I will certainly reach out to him and try to show him that I care. I’ll let you know guys what will happen after our talk. I appreciate all of you!