Fine. And if a woman says “you know, I’ve had enough, please stop, I’m fine” even if she hasn’t orgasmed please take her at her word. It is a rare woman that will orgasm every single time she has sex. Lack of one should not be construed as a failure on anyone’s part.
I’ve known a couple women who, due to nerve damage (one from diabetes, another from a spinal injury, another who probably had a nerve severed during a hysterectomy) were unable to orgasm. But they still enjoyed having sex. Just as there are men who have impotence problems from one degree to another there are women who likewise have problems. Women have an advantage in that can continue to have sex even if they’re the female equivalent of impotent, but trying to get their bodies to do something they can no longer isn’t going to work for anyone.
Fortunately, such things are uncommon, but women in general don’t function sexually the same way men do.
pssst are you in a relationship with anyone right now? If not, how you doin?
I don’t equate curvy to rubenesque or plus sized or bbw or “a little extra” (pick yer euphemism) or fat.
But, being one of those guys to whom “size doesn’t matter”, I can truly say I don’t care, as long as the hygiene, grooming and personality is there and (like Ultravires said) you directly, clearly, inambigously tell us what you want and like in the boudoir, I’m there if you are (I draw the line at monkies though)
Yes. Its rarely a compliment. Its either an insult or a neutral observation. At best its tongue in cheek.
The ideal female body size has been established by an unholy alliance of women and gay fashion designers. Who seem to think anything which is not skinny teenage boy type body=fat.
Yup
WOmen are a mystery, whatcha gonna do?
Certainly true for dudes, maybe so for women (true for the one that I know).
TwentySomethings are just dumb. They wpould not know a good time if it danced naked in front of them.
Well point 1 is one of the feminist commandments so you’ll get flamed for sure.
I wish I had known this earlier in life. I can’t even tell you how much my way of thinking was warped by feeling that I was basically deformed. Until I started posting here, and talking to people who had no reason to lie, I figured any guy who liked me was just (literally) settling for less.
Certain circles of guys will most definitely encourage each other to sleep around. It’s probably a sort of camaraderie and confidence builder.
Fat, skinny, small breasts, large breasts, there are men with preferences for all of those but I think personality and general compatibility can greatly offset any of those physical preferences.
Making the woman orgasm is certainly a worthy goal, but not 100% necessary every time. Focus on foreplay and have fun and unwind, it’s not supposed to be work.
You definitely have to potential to have better quality sex when you’re older, as long as you’re with the right partner and you have your life together and have the time and desire for sex. But the young people do often screw like rabbits, not sure if the sex is good quality though.
Here’s an unsavoury FWIW for you. It’s not just individual men who do/did this. Until (it seems) a few years ago, the Bizarre column in The Sun “newspaper” (UK) awarded annually the title of “Shagger of the Year”. See: Bizarre Awards 2013 – The Sun - which includes a photo of “Andy (from Lawson)” (no, me either) proudly holding his award.
Looking for a link to use for this post, I saw other stuff that suggested that this particular title has subsequently been retired. You would like to think so, but frankly the whole thing is just too distasteful for me to want to research it any further.
j
(Disclaimer - I was aware of this only from an interview with Lemmy, in which it was mentioned.)
Let’s face it - when you’re a beginner at anything you tend to have flaws in your technique, you fumble a lot, and things don’t always work out as intended… but lots of practice will usually improve things so, yeah, younger people fuck like bunnies because that’s how they become better at sexual intercourse. And because it’s usually fun and feels good, even if no one involved is perfect. Later in life maybe it’s less about quantity and more about quality.
But, for damn sure, this is an area where mileage varies all over the place.
That’s fine. But again, if you are a woman that has trouble climaxing, you should be very honest with a guy about how that can be made better or if it cannot. Again, guys are pretty hung up on that and deem themselves a failure in the sack if they cannot make their wife or girlfriend orgasm.
From being a guy and talking to guys, when we look back at the “best sex” in our lives, it was not what the woman did to us, but how hard she came.
Now, I’m sure that many women view themselves as “failures” if a man, for example, has a bout of impotency, thinking that he is not attracted to her.
I think the open and honest communication will solve that.
Actually, I orgasm fairly regularly - just not every time. Never the first time. Sometimes when I’m feeling a bit off color, or tired. You’ll just have to take my word for it that I’m pretty outspoken about what I do and don’t like, do and don’t want. And if I say “stop” I mean it, because having the guy work on you and work on you and work on you because goddamnit he WILL make you orgasm is actually not a pleasant situation.
What I really want to change is the fact so many guys are hung up about this. They should not feel themselves a failure if the woman only orgasms 3 times out of 4 (randomly picked numbers). Or 4 times out of 5 or whatever. Focusing solely on the orgasm can put a lot of pressure on folks which can interfere with achieving an orgasm… which is not a feedback loop any of us want. Frankly, with if you’re getting your woman to climax that often she’s doing better than average. If you aren’t hung up on it women are less likely to fake orgasms either to appease you or to just get you to stop because because enough already.
Yes, the best sex involves mind-blowing orgasms for both parties, but not every act of sexual intercourse is going to be a peak experience. No one should beat themselves up for a less than perfect session.
Too much focus on the part of the man to make a woman orgasm and it starts to feel more like it’s about his prowess than my pleasure. That’s the flip side of a man feeling like he’s always doing 80-90% of the work, the notion that my orgasm is the man’s trophy.
Actually…
On one occasion it was pretty clear that the guy had had too much to drink. I wasn’t happy about that, but not because I felt he wasn’t attracted to me but because I was all wound up and was disappointed that actual sexual intercourse was not going to occur. Yeah, I was a little annoyed at him, but stuff happens.
When my late husband started to have issues I was more concerned about it being a warning sign in regards to his health than any sense I wasn’t attractive to him.
So, no, I’ve never viewed myself as a failure if the man for some reason couldn’t perform. But I might well be an outlier.
In general, I disagree with Broomstick. The boobs are larger in Playboy et al, but the rest of the body is still slender.
Fashion magazines do tend to smaller boobs, because the clothes are the point, and it’s harder to make clothes that aren’t about the boobs if the boobs are large.
Cosmopolitan tends to show women showing off their (generally) medium sized boobs - large enough to have cleavage, small enough to still be able to defy gravity when the model is still young.
Men’s magazines show women with boobs usually in inverted correlation to the income level of the target audience.
ISTR Helen Gurley Brown once responding to a question about why all the models on the cover of Cosmopolitan were so, ummm, buxom, with something along the lines of: “I LIKE buxom models…”
and now the word “buxom” looks really amusing to me. Better get it out of my system.
Is the greatest admiration for guys with high numbers from guys who haven’t had any? Or from guys who want to be a player but suck at it?
I remember one overnight golf trip with a bunch of expats in Tokyo. All of us were American professional guys in our 40s. We were talking about life in Japan, Japanese women, work, sports and all. Then we started comparing numbers. I had 120 something, and people were not impressed. Another guy has 74 and everyone thought he was a god.
Oh, that was our golf scores. Never mind.
Does anyone over 40 care about the number of sexual partners? Or was just that my crowd?
