“I’m ready.”
…and they say romance is dead. 
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look at it upside down
My wife’s English is usually very good, but occasionally the way the expresses herself takes a turn for the strange.
Back when we were trying to have a kid, I received the following message from her:
LETS MAKE LOVE TONIGHT. I HAVE EGGS.
So I sent back the reply:
OK. I HAVE SAUSAGE.
Let us engage in an intercourse session.
I believe we can reach maximum potential and perhaps procreate as a result.
o.o;
I wish you to insert your penis in my vagina.
You :-Þ
Me < 8 (-:
=
Us :-Þ < 8 O-:
When?!
Thanks for your suggestions, I’ll share them with her. 
I got one the other day that said “I can not wait to resume carnal relations with you” to which I replied “Do I know you?”
But he got his carnal relations 
and for the record, I would hazard to say that:
Masturbating without you
might get their attention.
Similar to melodyharmonius.
Starting without you.
Also used…
Wanna?
Or,
Just had lunch,
Wanna be dessert?
I’m all “huh?”, and then I “ah!”.
“Sarah Silverman called. Matt is on his way here.”