Judd Nelson - Throw off a cliff
Andrew McCarthy - marry
James Spader - shag
Next:
Kermit
Fozzy Bear
Gonzo
Kermit
Fozzy Bear
Gonzo
Shag: Gonzo…I mean with that nose who knows what’s down below–althoug doesn’t he have a chicken fetish?
Marry: Fozzy…bad jokes and all–he’s snuggly soft!
Cliff: Kermy…throw you over that rainbow–you smell like pork 
Homer
Bart (assume he’s legal)
Mo
Oh, goody…
The ROCK - marry definitely
Jesse Ventura - shag
Chyna - off the cliff only 'cause I’m not gay.
Madonna
Britney Spears
Christine Aguilera
Assuming they were all alive,
I’d boot Carl off the cliff, but I’d feel bad about it. I’d shag Cecil (oh, and wouldn’t I just be the cat’s meow around here then), and then I’d marry Albert.
Han Solo
Obi Wan (Ewan McGregor)
Qui-Gon Jinn
Too easy.
Shag Britney, marry Christina, and push Madonna, then bring her back and push her again.
Next:
Moe
Larry
Curly
Obi Wan (Ewan): Shag, but would do Alec Guinness innaminit.
Han Solo: Marry. Fine Buddhist booty.
Qui-Gon Jinn: punt
Jack Kerouac
William Burroughs
Alan Ginsburg
Can we get some bisexual women in here to list some women after shagging, marrying, and shoving all these guys? Thanks.
::runs in just in time to save the delicious Qui-Gon from going over the side of the cliff::
What in the HELL are you doing? Are you INSANE???
::brushes off Qui-Gon and runs off into the sunset with him::
Oh, but before I go, just for Ethilrist…
Madonna… geez. Even though I know exactly where she’s been, I guess shag by default.
Britney Spears… cliff.
Christine Aguilera… pre scary-ass-ho from Lady Marmalade, marry.
Catherine Zeta-Jones… shag.
Salma Hayek… marry.
Penelope Cruz… off she goes.
Holly Hunter… shag.
Andie MacDowell… marry.
Julia Roberts… the laugh would get to me. And all those teeth. Cliff.
Rosie O’Donnell… CLIFF.
Ellen Degeneres… shag.
Margaret Cho… marry.
Okay… Willow, Buffy, or Anya? (the CHARACTERS, not the actresses)
Shag Buffy, marry Willow, boot Anya by default.
Okay…John Wayne Gacy, Ted Bundy, Charles Manson?
Shag Chevy
Marry Steve Martin
Steven Wright-CLIFF would he even scream?
Martha Stewart
Julia Childs
Madeline Kamman
Hijack of Shame
bobkitty, I wavered from putting “by default”. I honestly don’t know what he looks like. But by your response, I wanna.
End Hijack of Shame
Julia Child: Shag (Maybe she’ll bring her rolling pin)
Madeline Kamman: Marry!
Martha Stewart: Go to lovely limestone cliff with mountain laurel in springtime bloom. Set Martha delicately on edge, aligned with cliff face, making sure not to bruise or muss hair. Don handmade needlepoint slipper. Kick her firmly in the derriere. If you time the kick correctly, she should plunge to a grisly death. Garnish corpse with ivy.
Next:
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Franklin
George Washington: Marry
Thomas Jefferson: Shag
Benjamin Franklin: Off the cliff
I’d also just like to say that I want to take Captain Archer and put him in a box and hug him and squeeze him and love him…
For those who prefer males:
O.J. Simpson
Gary Condit
Bill Clinton
and for those who prefer females:
Hillary Clinton
Janet Reno
Madeleine Albright
You all make baby Jesus cry 
Steven
If these are my choices for females, I think I’ll take the males.
O.J. Simpson - Cliff. Someone has to do it.
Gary Condit - Shag
Bill Clinton - Marry, but “It wasn’t an affair as I understood the question.”
Here are mine, and I expect responses from all you nassty cruel people who booted Frodo
La La
Tinky-Winky
Dipsy
Steven
Well this game ain’t fair (some of us can’t marry), but carrying on with the Buffy theme, we can suggest:
Spike
Giles
Xander
Spike - shag (rowr)
Giles - marry (in a heartbeat)
Xander - boot off, but it’d be one of the hardest things I’d ever done
Gene Simmons
Tommy Lee
Sammy Hagar
this one got missed 
Robert Jordan goes off the cliff – that’ll learn the bastard to torture his readers.
Damn.
I don’t want to shag or marry Wolfe or King. I just wanted to kill Jordan.
All the buff Buffy guys–
Shag - Spike
Marry - Giles
Cliff - Zander (Dammit!)
And then shag Spike again
And then shag Spike again
And then shag Spike again
And then go home to Giles…
Alice Cooper
Rob Zombie
Marilyn Manson
If that lot don’t scare ya, nothin’ will!