A group of Muslim terrorists burst into the conference room at the Ramada Hotel where the American Bar Association was holding its Annual Convention. More than a hundred attorneys were taken as hostages.
The terrorist leader announced that, unless their demands were met, they would release one attorney every hour.
Three engineers and three lawyers are always taking the same commuter train into the city. The lawyers notice one day that the engineers have only bought one ticket for the three of them. One of the lawyers asks the engineers ‘whats up with that?’ and is told, ‘just watch, you’ll see.’
The engineers get on the train and immediately all cram into the toilet before the conductor notices. Regardless, the conductor stops by the toilet and knocks on the door - which opens a little, and a hand holds out the one ticket.
The lawyers are impressed by this and decide that they’ll try it the next day. They buy one ticket between the three of them, and they cram into the toilet before the conductor notices. As it happens, the conductor stops to collect the tickets from the engineers first, and they hand the conductor person six tickets. They explain to the conductor that their three lawyer companions are all in the loo together.
[QUOTE=Civil Guy]
Three engineers and three lawyers are always taking the same commuter train into the city. The lawyers notice one day that the engineers have only bought one ticket for the three of them. One of the lawyers asks the engineers ‘whats up with that?’ and is told, ‘just watch, you’ll see.’
The engineers get on the train and immediately all cram into the toilet before the conductor notices. Regardless, the conductor stops by the toilet and knocks on the door - which opens a little, and a hand holds out the one ticket.
The lawyers are impressed by this and decide that they’ll try it the next day. They buy one ticket between the three of them, and they cram into the toilet before the conductor notices. As it happens, the conductor stops to collect the tickets from the engineers first, and they hand the conductor person six tickets. They explain to the conductor that their three lawyer companions are all in the loo together.
[/QUOTE]
The variation I heard on this one has the same setup, but at the end, after the three lawyers cram themselves into the bathroom, one of the engineers walks up to the door, knocks, and says, “Ticket please.”
There’s an opening on the board of directors of a multinational corporation. The candidates are senior partner of an accounting firm, president of an engineering company and the managing partner of a law firm. Each is asked, in turn, one question: What is two plus two? The accountant consults his actuarial tables and replies that two plus two is four. The engineer, when asked, whips out his pocket calculator, conducts complex calculations and replies that two plus two is four. When it’s the lawyer’s turn, he peeks outside the door of the interview room, closes the door tightly and returns to the interview table, where he asks, “What do you want it to be?”
A man is enjoying a latte at his local Starbucks along with his son. The lad is practicing a magic trick- making a silver dollar disappear into his mouth when he accidentally chokes on the coin. Unsure of what to do, the father cries out for help, hoping a Doctor is within earshot.
A middle aged woman in a business suit walks over to them, thrusts her hand down the front of the boy’s pants and squeezes his testicles. His face turns red as she twists and turns his scrotum, before finally, he coughs up the coin, which the lady catches in her free hand.
As she hands the coin to the relieved father, he asks, “Are you a Doctor?”
“No,” she replies. “Divorce attorney.”
