I’m sober today. I am a recovering alcoholic. Tomorrow I will have a year and a half clean and sober. (WOOO HOOO!)
Since I’ve gotten clean I’ve got my life back. Got a good job. Got a new car. Got a great place to live after being in a halfway house for six months. Got my cats back, the wonderful little girls. Got a ton of recording equipment, a new guitar, and I am going to get another guitar this week. But most importantly I now have good relationships with my family and friends.
About 4:00 Thursday morning I got a terrible phone call from my Mom saying that Dad was in the hospital and it was looking like he might die any minute. He had collapsed at home and they couldn’t get his blood pressure up from the basement. It was a 90 mile drive that I had to make alone, without knowing what I was going to find at the end.
What I found was that my dad had been stabilized and was even awake enough to know I was there for a few minutes.
No heart attack, no stroke, no brain damage as far as they can tell. He’s 73 and diabetic and has had a virus that has as my brother puts it “been kicking his ass” for a week. That’s all they know so far.
OK, let me share something with you: I started back to work today! After nearly 3 months away I am back. There was a big “Welcome Back” banner on my desk when I got back and donuts.
It is nice to be back and nice to be appreciated.
Another: When I came home from long-term care facility I found that my house had been cleaned and then some. It is nice to have people care for you.
Life is still kinda weighing heavily on my shoulders, but with friends to share it with, the burden is lighter.
My boyfriend is moving here from Boston in two days. I was on the phone with him while he was packing. I told him that I was, again, sorry, that he had to leave his life behind because I decided to go to grad school in California. He told me that his possessions were not his life. The only truly important thing was being able to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loved. It made me miss him even more.
Something happened today that would normally make me lose my temper, but I managed to laugh it off. Might not seem like much, but it made me pretty damn happy.
I have a job as a proper lawyer with a huge office and all the office supplies my little heart could want while kids in my class who graduated magna cum laude (from a top 25 law school not like an online law school or anything) are still sending out resumes and/or waitressing. I feel incredibly lucky to have gone through the Bar without the stress of getting a J-O-B hanging over me.
I only work 40-50 hours a week while people who generally do what I do work 60-70 hours a week.
I have a nice boyfriend whom I can easily see on weekends even though it would be nicer to live in the same zipcode. We made out across posh model homes all weekend long.
I’m finally living in California!!! (your mileage might vary)
The only fly in my ointment is having to fly cross-country for business next week. I’m not a plane person but duty calls…
Thank you. Glad it cheered you up, it certainly made my day It’s wonderful having a life again.
Now if I can just convince my family that you are supposed to get people nice expensive gifts (like a guitar) for AA birthdays*.
Slee
*Kidding. They took me out to lunch today. Just going out to lunch with my parents after all the grief I put them through over the years is simply amazing.
I wasn’t ignoring you Large Marge, I just didn’t want to detract from the happy thoughts that people were bringing. Now that the thread seems to have run its course, here it is:
On June 23, after many months of sickness, my stomach perferated. I was on the operating table for over 10 hours and the doc says that it was touch and go.
My memories from those first few weeks are close to nil, but I have an overwhelming memory of helplessness and dispair. I have become terrified of dieing. Not being dead mind, I mean the process of dieing. The slow wasting away, barely living and knowing it is never going to get better. It is on the verge of becoming an obscession.
My company was bought out by a rival or our devision. Not a rival of our company, a rival of our small little group. In other words, a 27 billion dollar company has bought a 3 billion dollar company. The 27 billion dollar company does 5 billion in what my group specializes in. We do 30 million. I doubt we have much of a future.
My best developer has just resign, meaning that we will probably miss our goals for this year. If ever we were going to impress our new owners, it is doubtful that we will now.
It seems that Mom may have cancer. She has tests scheduled, and we don’t know yet, but it isn’t looking good.
This is all part of life, but it is starting to weigh heavily on my shoulders…
I am in a book (okay, a story of mine is in a book) with a piece by Margaret Atwood. I’m between the covers with Margaret Atwood! Holy shit!
(It might help if I mention I’m a Canadian. Woman. Who read The Edible Woman in junior high. And I have been an admirer of Ms. Atwood’s for a very long time.
And that story (of mine) has been nominated for a Pushcart Prize for short fiction.
I am having two toasted cheese sandwiches (and two drinks) to celebrate.
Last night I decided it was time to get out of a relationship thats been weighing heavily on me. Then a cute girl I met today reaffirmed that there are truely more fish in the sea.
Also last night I finished my first article for a local paper. Still waiting to hear back, but the editor is an open generally cool guy, which I wasn’t expecting.
I had two friends call me wanting to have lunch, they both came to meet me and one friend had a good story to tell.
Friday morning I have a meeting with a local radio station I want to work for.
Its almost been a month since I last had to fill up my cars 35 litre tank
I’m really starting to feel content more that I have in years.
Today I hauled some big maple tree logs that I found on my property into my woodshed. It was sunny and a bit windy…crisp clean air, really beautiful way to spend the day. I really love living in the country.
