Why did the LA County Sheriff’s stop painting “Call 911” on the side of their patrol cars?
The gangbangers in East LA kept stealing them thinking they were Porsches.
Guy comes home and walks into the house carrying a sheep under his arm. His wife is standing there.
Guy: “This is the pig I’ve been fucking.”
Wife: “That isn’t a pig, it’s a sheep.”
Guy: “I wasn’t talking to you.”
A politically in-correct commercial idea:
Cast: A children’s party clown, with lots of balloon animals on him.
The Scene: The clown is dancing down a hallway looking into the windows on doors. Every time he looks in he laughs, and pops a balloon and says, “No party for you!”
Cut to the Geico guys and they do their spiel about being happy switching to Geico.
“How happy are they?”
“Happier than a disgruntled clown in an abortion clinic.”
How do you get a one-armed Polack out of a tree?
Wave
How do you get a black man out of a tree?
Cut the rope
Who killed more Indians than Custer?
Union Carbide
Did you hear about the earthquake in Haiti?
Thousands of homes destroyed. Damages are estimated at $48
What do you get if you cross an elephant with a canary?
A happy canary with a big hole in it.
Why should you wrap your hamster with duct tape?
So it won’t explode when you fuck it.
What do [insert favorite ethnicity here] women put behind their ears to attract men?
Their ankles.
How do you get a redneck to give his dog a blowjob?
Put ranch dressing on its dick.
OMG, Zyanthia, I could hear it just perfectly in my mind. Thanks for a great laugh, you sick bastard(ette?)!
A man comes home after work one day, only to find his girlfriend packing her bags.
He: “Honey, what’s wrong? Please, won’t you give us a chance?”
She: “I just found out that you’re a pedophile!”
He: “Well, that’s an awfully big word for a nine year old!”
Tampax has announced they will be replacing the string in Tampons with tinsel, but only for the Christmas period.
One possible defense against rape is to beat off the attacker.
I didn’t read any of posts in this thread any will never share any offensive joke because I am essentially and inherently a nice and kind person.
And if I replied as I am tempted to, I’d receive a warning. Imagine threadshitting in a thread like this?!?
ETA: reported.
Hey man, you remember the jet sons right?
What’s the name of the dad? George jets on , right!
The mom? Jane , right !
You’re getting the hang of this …
What was the boy’s name and his dog too?
Elroy was the boy and astro was his dog, right!
…name the black kid now.
…waiting
…still waiting
…remember one?
NOPE !! Cause there was none on the Jetsons!!
…what’s that tell us about the future?
Do you mean I did a threadshitting to this thread :dubious:
Duh. :rolleyes:
You don’t have sense of humor like mine, do you?
Nope. kayaker is funny.
taskmgr.exe, if you don’t want to participate in a thread, don’t. Coming in to say you’re too good to participate is threadshitting. If you thought you were making a joke, you failed. Use smileys or other indicators as necessary when you are joking.
No warning issued.
twickster, MPSIMS moderator
But smileys and other indicators spoil the joke.