Sunday I was going to wipe my hard drive, redo the motherboard/processor, and upgrade Windows. Mr. Tao’s been bugging me to upgrade for MONTHS, but I’ve been avoiding it 'cause I’m lazy. Saturday afternoon I had one of those little niggling thoughts that hey, I’m going to start backing up NOW; it might take a while. Didn’t take much time, maybe an hour.
The VERY SECOND I looked at my desktop and said, out loud, “Ok, I think I’m ready to go for tomorrow”, my little orange cat projectile vomited more liquid and tuna than could possibly fit into her little stomach, DIRECTLY into the top of my computer, through the fan, instantly frying the motherboard. And somehow, miraculously, missing the video card, which I don’t really have the time to replace right now.
I was laughing for an hour.
Hell, who am I kidding, I’m still laughing.
And I still think Mr. Tao trained her to do that; the look on his face was “Welp, guess we ARE changing everything out now, huh?”
We’ve got this little weiner dog, tiny little shit, but absolutly spring-loaded and an acrobat. She is also the most disgusting little cur I’ve ever seen. Eats cat poop, dead “stuff” and whatever ofal she can scrounge up in the yard.
Anyway, one day, I see her dashing around the yard with a dead mouse, and I yell at her to drop it. A buddy of mine was over visiting and was sitting on the back steps. Well, the dog runs over to him and he picks her up. I* specifically warned him *to not let her near his face because she was nasty!
Well, he’s holding her and he looks down at her and says, “Hello, Sweety!” and at that instant, she whips around in his arms, raises her head and sticks her 9-inch, dead-mouse-tainted tounge right in his mouth!
I remember moving into a new place. I was too tired to set up the bed so I just decided to sleep on the floor. Alarm clock right by my side.
The next morning I woke up about five minutes before my alrm clock was due to go off. I was just laying there with my eyes open still unable to move.
Between me and my alarm clock, is my cat, fast asleep. The alarm clock goes off causing my cat to wake up and stretch his limbs. (while still laying on his side on the floor.) When he did so, he inadvertantly hit the snooze button on the alarm clock. Giving us 9 more minutes of rest.
