She asked me to marry her!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

We’d known each other since '72. She’d had a “crush” on me for decades. I had one on her but was too shy to do anything about it. I sold her my '73 Strat. I was(am still) so painfully shy. Finally after my divorce in '99 I got back in touch with her. It was like a dream! The only woman where it meant so much to me where I said fuck it and made the first move(s). Other women basically hit me over the head with their club and dragged me back to their cave.
In ’99 we became a couple. Each of our mothers on their death bead. Mine is still alive, hers died. She kicked me to the curb. I knew it was coming but it didn’t make it any easier. She went back to the rich man she’d kicked to the curb for the previous years.
It’s 5 years later. She’s had me “rescue” her 4 times. We’ve been a couple 5 times in 5 years. She was with me while we searched for my daughter’s body when she(my daughter) drowned.

This past Oct. of ’03 she had another crisis. Who else but me? I’m there. I help.

We were a couple again! Happy me! What a dumb ass. You see I figured I knew she’d dump me but I’d go for the gusto. If I know she may dump me it will hurt less. What a fool I am. You see, if you love someone you will always hope they will get it too.

It was snowing when we left the restaurant. January 25th. We’d had a splendiferuos weekend together. One of many. She talked of marriage, I said yes. Hell, I was willing to marry her just so she could get her MS drugs even if we had to live separate lives(I didn’t have to tell her, she made the offer first). She means that much to me.

The last time we made love was a Tuesday. The following Friday she calls and says “Oh, it’s over”

The Friday next she tells me “I’m married” to the rich guy. I think they went to Vegas.

I don’t even know her name now.

I suppose that’s likely for the best.

I wish she’d married him long ago. It feels bad when someone takes yer guts out and blend them in front of you.

There are worse things I know too clearly.

I’ve tried to be careful, who you love is important. Both are now married.

I still have my son. In my heart I still have my daughter. She will never be gone.

I could never treat anyone so coldly as what I’ve gotten. I don’t understand.

http://shannon.teemingmillions.com/

2

I’m sorry for all the heartache in your life. I know it’s a bit late for me to say something, but your daughter was a beautiful special person. Thank you for posting the link to her memorial page. As for the woman, I know it doesn’t help to say it, but you’re better off without her. Be strong. You’re in my thoughts.

3

I remember hearing about your daughter when it happened. I am still very sorry for the loss, not just yours, but the rest of the world for not getting the cnace to know her.

I am also sorry this woman has put you through so much. Just because someone grows up doesn’t mean they mature. At best she wasn’t mature enough to make a solid decision, at worst she used you when she needed you and never cared about you. I hate to be cliche, but you are probably better off without her. Better to know now than later…

But damn, that is just awful for you.

4

Thank you.

My little girl always has/had a hug for everyone. She seemed to know who needed it most.

As for the woman…

If I’d never met her I’d have picked up my lids earlier and she’d be alive(my baby girl that is). You see I went out of town for work and took that lady I love with me. If I hadn’t been in love with her I’d most likely said screw the trip and stayed home. The lady will never read this so I feel safe saying it. God I would never want her to know this. Too much guilt.

Guilt. If My X and her new hubby had kept their eyes peeled a bit better she’d be alive. They knew about the pit, they knew her “need” to go there. She was taking a “long shower” and he’s an internet junkie(just try to call them!).

They found out at least an hour afterwards. I guess I sound bitter. I guess I am.

Guilt. There’s too much of it and I wouldn’t dream of dumping that last load on my X. She’s my baby’s mom. No one needs to add to what she must feel. I find myself defending them both.

I also know my X won’t read this, that’s why I got that load of crap off my chest.

As for the woman. All I’ve said aside, I wish she’d married the guy years ago.

I was just beginning to get used to the idea of being alone when I had to rescue her last October.

5

Oh, tunabreath, I’m so sorry for your losses. I wish I could hug you from here.