My wife informed me a few hours ago that it is over between us. She has been planning her “escape” for a few months now. Things started to change back in 2001 when she was injured in an auto accident. 3 surgeries and an addiction to pain killers have changed her. No one can do anything to please her. She worked 2 jobs but complained about being broke all the time. I’m dealing with a couple check cashing places trying to keep them from suing. We lost our house and went for a least to own plan to try to save it but that has been a total failure. We both quit smoking in 1993, she started again about 5 years ago. She says I don’t hug and kiss her any more, she smells like an ashtray and nothing could be a bigger turn off to me. Yeah, I spend to much time on the internet but she never wants to do anything or go anywhere. I started a side business selling stuff on eBay a few years ago and tried to get her involved, she was happy to spend the money but didn’t want to put in the work finding stuff to sell. I am going to take half the blame, I could have done things better but I haven’t mastered the skill of reading someone’s mind.
There are no kids involved. She has alienated her two daughters the past few years. She can’t understand why they don’t want to do anything with her, all she does is complain about being broke and having no money. She complained for 2 years when her younger daughter and her husband lived with us that they needed to find a place of their own. They finally did and now they abandoned her. The times I brought in some extra money from bonuses and such, she wanted half. She won $500 on a lotto scratch ticket a few years ago, I didn’t see a penny.
I found house and started moving in today. I thought it would be the two of us but it looks like it will just be me in an old 4 bedroom house. I have to find new homes for a dog and 4 cats. Anyone in the Seattle area need a new pet? I have a huge challenge in front of me and I don’t know if I will have anyone to lean on. My kids have their own lives and rarely include me. I don’t know how her kids will take it. I know I want to be a part of my grandkids lives even if they are technically “step” grandchildren. The hardest part of a new journey is the first step, I just hope I can do it.
Sympathy always sounds cold coming from a stranger, and especially so when that stranger has no comparable experiences. But, still… that sucks. I hope you are able to keep in touch with those who mean something to you.
When my ex, on her last day with me, said “This can be the best thing that’s ever happened for both of us” I thought she was crazy.
It’s years later now, and her splitting was the second best thing that ever happened to me. Meeting my current wife a few months after the divorce was the 1st best thing.
It may seem tough now, but there can be better days ahead. Good luck.
Sorry, racer. I’m going through that myself, except my ex quit smoking, after he moved out, rather than during the years I was with him and begged him to quit. :mad:
Sorry, racer72, I wish you peace, happiness, and strength to move forward.
ETA: I don’t mean to sound glib, but you might want to consider joining us in the weekly MMP. I’ve been going through alot of stuff lately myself and it’s nice to have a bunch of ‘invisible’ friends to talk to who are there to give you support when you need it.
So sorry man. I’m going through it too. I sincerely hope you do have some local support - not having it makes it so hard. And believe me - the invisible friends are definitely helpful! I know once I get signed papers and can talk about it again I am going to throw myself a big ol’ pity party thread because getting it out does feel good.
So come back and let us know updates and how you are doing.
Things will get better.
I’ve had similar (well, it’s still going on). Facing bankruptcy potentially, I’m being dragged through the courts at great expense, was left in debt anyway, and above all I haven’t seen my stepson (though he’s my son in all but blood and loves me more than his slut/bimbo/partygirl mother) since July.
But we’re not competing for whose situation sucks more. Listen dude, just get in touch if you need to talk. Email in profile.
Hey, I’m broadminded! I have no problem with her lifestyle choices as far as they affect herself. I do, however, have a problem with her treating her children as fashion accessories at best, and pawns at worst.
Look, it’s 3:23am here. At about 10:00am tomorrow (today), I’m off to see my solicitor and hand over a four figure sum to try and fight for access to my stepson through the courts. I haven’t seen Ben since July. I dream of him every night. I do undertake to do no harm on his mother, but it’s not illegal to hate somebody, and I must admit to bus-with-no-brakes fantasies.
I missed his tenth birthday the other week. I’ll probably miss Christmas by the time this goes to court.
I know there is a lot of violence and bad stuff against woomen, and I’ve always seen the “Dads’ rights” groups cautiously, but I’m starting to come around.
I’m on a two-year renewal of my ill-considered restraining order. I’ve had cops climbing over my gate in front of the neighbours. I’ve been arrested in front of my own house and carted away in front of the neighbours. I’ve been made to feel like a zoo animal with no dignity. But hey, apparently she is the one being “harrassed”.
Hmmm…
I have no words.
I just want to even speak to my son over the telephone.
