She is NINE, not NINETEEN!

I am in full weding-planning mode, trying to find dresses for my three junior bridesmaids at the moment. My two older cousins are 13 and 14, and while not technically adults, have the figures to fill out a dress. We’ve found a lovely strapless dress for them that’s still very modest and plan on ordering that in platinum for them. Unfortunately, it’s not available in a junior bridesmaid style - if it was, we’d add thicker straps to it for the little one since there is no way in hell I’m putting her in a strapless dress.

Which leads me to the first part of my rant - to these designers who are making JUNIOR bridesmaid dresses - that’s what she is! She’s a JUNIOR! What the hell is up with all of these revealing dresses for little girls? Yes, I realize that most junior dresses involve slapping a couple of spaghetti straps on a regular dress and making a smaller version, but I do NOT want my little nine-year-old baby cousin in most of these dresses! I know the little girls like to look older, but I’m sorry - she is not wearing these dresses. The last thing I want is guys hitting on her at the reception (she’s nine, but unfortunately, she’s already starting to fill out - she’s got the little girl face, but the body of a teenager). And aside from that, she’s just a baby - she’s excited about dressing up, but the last thing I want to do is make her self-conscious. Thank God for Jasmine Bridals - not only did I find my dress there, but they have a few junior dresses that are very modest and perfect for a little girl. I’ll be giving them my business. But seriously - I’m only her cousin. Think how her mother must feel.

And while I’m ranting, what the fuck is up with the bridesmaid gowns? I’m in a sticky situation - one of my bridesmaids is a bit larger than normal, so I’m trying my best to find a dress that she’s comfortable in. This does not mean I want to put my bridesmaids in a dress that looks like something my grandma would wear. This does not mean a short sleeved dress must have the ugliest sequins you can find on the floor of the factory to decorate the bodice. I would have liked to find a pretty dress with short cap sleeves and pretty beading for my bridesmaids - but instead, they have to wear three-quarter sleeves and no beading (luckily, the dresses we found are very classic and tasteful and gorgeous, but that doesn’t mean they were my first choice). I know that the choices have opened up a bit for larger women, but they aren’t open enough - nearly every dress out there is strapless or spaghetti strapped. Even larger women like to feel beautiful without showing a lot of skin.

(And I swear, I am not turning into Bridezilla - I’m more concerned with making my bridesmaids comfortable than I am with having the ‘perfect’ dress - this has just been bugging me for weeks since I started looking.).


I take it you were looking at Davids Bridal huh. You may have to special order the bridesmaids dresses but the juniors dresses can be remedied woth a little jacket in a complimentary color. Thats what I did for my 8 yo niece last year. She had a cute little cream colored dress with a light pink jacket. It was SO cute!

Are you totally set on all of the bridesmaids gowns matching? If not, how about different styles yet all the same color? I had planned this for my wedding because:

  1. I didn’t want my friends to spend money on a dress they were never going to wear again.

2)They are all different body types and therefore had different hangups on what they would wear.

3)I wanted to be a little different

My only strictures were that the dresses had to be some kind of ivory, vintage preferably and not too fancy cause I didn’t want to be shown up. I mean, I am the bride after all dammit!:wink:
This would also tie in nicely with the non-hoochification of your 9yr old cousin. (skank clothes for kids the subject of an entirely different rant)
However, YMMV… that and the fact we said screw it and eloped!

P.S. Congratulations and Good Luck!

I was looking at David’s and Jim Hjelm Junior Bridesmaids - the David’s weren’t terribly mature, but the Jim Hjelm are horrible. I wouldn’t put a twelve year old in those dresses, much less a nine-year-old. I did look at Alfred Angelo, but they don’t make platinum dresses. The Jim Hjelm are just ridiculous - they are so revealing. I want her to be comfortable, but not self-conscious. Luckily, I think we’ve found a gorgeous little non-revealing Jasmine dress that also comes with a wrap. I just didn’t realize that is was so much to ask for an age-appropriate junior bridesmaid dress!


Even with everyday clothes in the girl’s department you hit the skank clothes thing. My 10 year old is a stick. Puberty will probably hit within this decade, but it isn’t looking like it is any time soon. She still pretends to believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. She is small for her age and alot of the girls who wear her size clothes are one or two years younger. Why the Hell do i want to send her to school looking like she has a street corner to get to. There is no earthly reason to put high heals on a little girl, especialy come-do-me pumps. Little girls do not need to look like prostitutes. I am tired of digging through everything in a girl’s size 8 and being left with stuff that makes her look like a slut, or sponge bob.

Why do you need “junior bridesmaids” in the first place?

I seriously do not understand this need on the part of couples getting married to have these vast crowds of people at the altar with them as they exchange their vows. It strikes me as being part of a giant racket on the part of bridal shops and tuxedo rental stores to milk another few thousand dollars out of people who want everyone and their cousin (literally) standing there in matching outfits. The one time I got stuck standing up at someone’s wedding it was for a college friend whose husband didn’t have enough friends in the area to match up with the number of bridesmaids she insisted on slapping into matching fugly floral prints and lining up next to her in the church. I have no doubt that it meant quite a lot to the groom to have the bride’s friends and relatives, people he’d pretty much never met before in his life, standing up there to share his special day. Never again. If I ever get asked again I shall politely decline.

I especially do not get the need to have some toddler waddling down the aisle with a ring pillow or a basket of flower petals, when they clearly have no idea what they are doing, what is going on or the significance of the event.

Easy solution to not having to find matching dresses or junior bridesmaid outfits that don’t show the goodies is to invite them to share your happiness–by sitting down in the church with everyone else–without shelling out $100 for a dress.

I thoght about that, but luckily, we found really nice bridesmaid dresses that are a bit different and they should be able to wear again - they’re formal ivory tops with a sash and a navy blue a-line skirt - they’re two piece, so they could wear the top again or the skirt for a Christmas party or something. I’ve gotten the thumbs-up from three bridesmaids on them, and the jury is still out on one bridesmaid (although she is probably reading this, so she has no excuse NOT to tell me yay or nay;)). And I think we’re going with different styles, but same color for the junior girls - the two older ones in the strapless and the younger one in the other one I found.

Sounds like you’ve had a gorgeous wedding! I’ve seen weddings where the girls pick their own dresses in the same color and it was gorgeous - the prettiest one I was were pink dresses.

Otto, the junior bridesmaids will not be standing up at the altar with us. They will have flowers, they will come up the aisle, and they will sit. I want them to be a part of my wedding because I am extremely close to their mothers, and was in their mothers’ weddings when I was around their age. I am extremely close to my entire family, and for me, it wouldn’t be a wedding without their participation. We will not have any toddlers coming up the aisle (even our flower girl will be seven years old). Every single person who’s in the wedding is someone that I’m close with - I didn’t just ask random people to fill spots. And the girls wanted to be in the wedding. Since one cousin really can’t afford a dress for her daughter, I’m purchasing the dress for her. I would do this for any of my bridesmaids if they needed me to simply to have their participation.


I am so glad that the womenfolk in my family have already signed in blood their oaths to sew the gowns for my wedding.

sigh of relief

While I pretty much share Otto’s opinion on weddings, if you are going for the big pricey bash, Granuaile’s idea of different designs, same colour, is really, really elegant and clever.

Otto, it’s a girl thing. We gals like getting dressed up, and we like weddings, dammit!

My dad’s youngest sister always promised me and my cousin Tina that we could be flower girls in her wedding. Or junior bridesmaids, since she didn’t get married until I was about 8 or 9. However, it never happened, since she only had a ceremony in a JP’s office. No, I’m not bitter! :wink:
[sub]seriously, though, Aunt Katie, if you’re reading this, I love you to bits, but it was a let down![/sub]

I take it you’ve never been at a wedding that was attacked by barbarian hordes. Thank goodness for all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to help fend off the marauders!

You’re responding to a gay man 25 days before Halloween and you dare to imply I don’t know the fun of dressing up?!? Fie on thee, madam!

And for the record avabeth I’m not slagging you in particular. Your thread just offered up a convenient place for some spleen-venting.

Ha! I was severely disappointed when my cousin married quickly and I didn’t get to be a bridesmaid.

Seriously, though, Otto, have you ever seen “Steel Magnolias”? You know the part where Shelby says “I have so many bridesmaids because Mama made me have all my cousins.” THAT is my family. My cousin Jamie had 11 bridesmaids - four of us were cousins. Yeah, that seemed a little over the top, but we figured it was her wedding and we were glad to be in it since she wanted us to be. Hell, I feel guilty leaving out my two unmarried girl cousins on my dad’s side, but I plan on having them recognized in other ways. My family is just very close and if people get left out, feelings get hurt. I’d prefer to avoid that. And I love my family. We were planning to run off to Vegas and elope, but after I realized I couldn’t get married without having my family around, we decided on a semi-big wedding (about 150-180 people). The most important thing to me is that my grandparents be there - and since my grandmother is in poor health, she would NOT have made it to Vegas with us.

istara, I do like the idea. I think since we’ve all managed to decide on a dress, though, we’ll probably go with that. It doesn’t LOOK like a typical bridesmaid’s dress which is why I picked it. Most of them just look the same - and I wanted them to be able to wear it again. However, that’s about all I’ll specify for them. They’re adults - they can decide how they want their own hair, what shoes to wear, what jewlery to wear - I’ve seen brides trying to dictate these things and don’t quite understand it. They’re grown-ups. They know what to wear.

Tars, thanks for the reminder. I need to make sure and hire the pirates for the reception to ward off the barbarians.



No offense taken - I have a raging case of PMS today, so just one of my co-workers saying ‘hello’ has spawned a major case of Bitch-itis. I know some people don’t understand the point of big weddings. I think it’s just different strokes for different folks. I have friends who will be marrying in a private civil ceremony in Vermont (a lesbian couple) where no one is invited because they want it to be a private affair - which I can understand. However, they also plan on throwing a party the next year - and I’m glad they are - I’m looking forward to celebrating their union just as they’ll celebrate ours.


OK first it’s suggested that I don’t know the fun of dressing up, then it’s suggested that I haven’t seen Steel Magnolias? Gay Man in Urban America people! We’re issued a prom dress and Steel Magnolias on DVD at birth!

There are some stores that cater to those who don’t want strapless formal gowns: is an example. I’ve seen others, but can’t remember them just now. If anyone cares, I’ll look, though.

I love this one. I may need it for myself! link

I’m sorry, I’m sorry! :hangs head in shame:. I’ll go turn in my can opener immediately (I’m bi, we don’t get the toaster, we just get a handheld can opener). But I hope that gives you a better idea of where I’m coming from with the whole wedding thing. It’s a very family-oriented event for me, and we keep the family involved. Otherwise, my bridal party would just be my four bridesmaids and my flower girl.


Otto, as Debbie Reynolds says of her son’s imminent (but iffy) nuptuals in In & Out, “I need flowers. I need beauty. It’s like heroin.”

I was happy to attend a very nontraditional wedding that my then GF was in.

The groom’s best man was a girl, and one of the bridesmaids was a guy. The sister of the bride was maid of honor and she was a recent post-op transexual.

Everybody had on a different style dress or suit with at least part of it being the wedding colors. The photos looked great.

A Baptist minister and a Rabbi agreed to share in a ceremony that combined Judeo/Christian and Bhuddist elements.

Tho she was one of my GF’s best friends, I had never met her. (She was from out of state.) When GF introduced us, bride gave me a kiss that would turn on a dead man. Wowza!

Anyways, it was a really neat night. Oh yeah, it was in an arboretum.