She lost her @ss, & doesn't have a leg to stand on. Newslink

Actually, she gained a **brand-new **ass.,22049,23401962-5012895,00.html

The leg ain’t much, either.

Leno mentioned this on his show last night, and it has me confused.

What do they mean by a “new anus”? Did they punch a new one and attach the colon to it, or is this just a way of saying she had a colostomy? What did they do with the old anus? Does she still have it?

There are a zillion jokes you can write based on this, but the reporting is obscure. And I’m sorry for the woman.

Oh, the images! First, I thought of a large leather-punch. Then, the doctor making a fist and cocking his arm back.

Hot dogs.

I’m trying to think of a single thing that’d be good about being a sphincter surgeon. All I can come up with is that your patients probably wouldn’t care if you leave stitch marks.

That reminds me of a song.

A perfect asshole!

It’s a lot like customer service, but at least you don’t deal with stupid assholes.

Are you kidding? You could have a vanity plate that says ASSMAN. That would be so worth it.