She spins me about

She spins me about, and I end up traveling over my own wake. I get lost, and it takes a few days to get my bearings again.

I caught her cheating on me last Super Bowl Sunday. Ugly breakup, and I hadn’t talked to her since. But I come home after spending Christmas with my nieces 10 months later, I pour a glass of wine and click on the TV. Then the doorbell rings.

It’s 10:30 at night and it’s her. Crying her damned eyes out.

What do I do here? I have to let her in.

So I let her in and hug her for about 20 minutes while we stand in my kitchen. I know it was 20 minutes because I kept looking at the oven clock while she was weeping uncontrollably. When she calms down she tells me she ruined Christmas with her sister, her mom, and the guy she left me for (two separate events in the same night). I’m the only friend she has left, etc, etc.

I buy that because we dated for three years and she ruined plenty of Thanksgivings by drinking too much. I want to say all types of things about how she hurt me, but I can’t be mean to a distraught women. And I have to admit, though I thought I had pretty much gotten over her, there’s this little demon in the back of my brain that’s still holding a torch for the self centered, drunken, lying whore. The chick is useless. She’s 28 years old and never had a driver’s license.

But damn she’s good in bed. You see where this is going?

So I console her and walk her home. We talk for a bit, and the whole time I’m thinking “don’t have sex don’t have sex don’t have sex”. And we don’t. But she wants me to “hold her” while we sleep. Christ I’m a moron. So, full of Christmas benevolence, I hold her and we sleep. But…

Ladies, you might not know this, but guys are very horny in the morning. So after about 10 minutes of very good doggystyle, I go home and go to work. Hungover, but smiling.

At this point, I’m kind of amused by the whole thing. But on Sunday she rings my doorbell again, after I went to bed, tells me she broke up with her boyfriend and “just needs somebody to talk to”. So we go to her place, again, and watch a movie. She drinks way too much, again, passes out on the couch and I leave. But I grab a couple of beers out of her fridge and drink 'em after I walk home.

I call her today and she lights into me about being a “lying thief”. I told her I was going to take two beers before we sat down for the movie, but apparently when she woke up on the couch the next morning I’m the fucking villain. I’m a “bad influence”. The chick pulled me out of bed, drinks my beer and blames me for her drinking too much. She’s fucking crazy, and I should wash my hands of her. But there’s still that goddamn little demon in the back of my head that is holding a torch for the useless, self centered, lying whore.

She spins me about.

Honey, she’s bad news and you know it. Either you’re going to accept that and move on or you’re going to get fucked… not the good way. Maybe somebody less touchy-feely will come in and scream what you know you need to hear.

huggles anyhow.

Like I tell all of my guy friends who whine about the bitches that give them shit:

No one is making you stick your dick in crazy.

So, don’t.

Are we trying out our creative writing today? Spin you about? Ugh.

You’re spinning yourself about, if anything. She’s showed you who she is by her actions. If you choose to stay with her then you have no one to blame but yourself when things go wrong. Going back to her would be like giving you life savings to a gambling addict right outside of Caesar’s Palace.

You might want to ask this to get switched to MPSIMS

As long as you continue to think with your dick, you’re a prick.

Three tips for life: never play poker with a man named Doc, never eat at a place called Mom’s, and never sleep with someone crazier than you.

Get yourself a puppy.
It won’t warm your gun for you, but at least there’s a chance it’ll make you happy.

Whose shoulder does she cry on about you, I wonder? Might wanna get yourself checked out just in case. And no, you don’t have to let her in if she’s crying on your doorstep, as long as she isn’t physically injured or something similar.

That’s where I originally typed it, but I can’t describe the fucking crazy bitch without using invective. I’m still pissed off, and I don’t know why. There is not one logical reason in the world why I should care what she thinks, but fucking hell, I DO.

Fuck me.
As to the creative writing, I stole “she spins me about” from Firefly, so blame Joss Whedon.

Oh Gawd. I hate that stupid prick. Do yourself a favor, forget this bitch and quit watching Whedon dreck.

Stay away. She’s no good and you know it.

I see your problem.

See, here’s the deal: It’s just a vagina. You can find them all over the place; I swear half the people I know own one.

Now, judging by your experiment with cheesy metaphors lifted from a decently funny but ultimately over-angsty show, I can only assume that this girl is probably hovering around the midpoint of the attractive scale at best. So, the analysis to make is if you are playing way out of your league, or if you’re just a run-of-the-mill pudgy nerdy guy.

If the latter, then there are many many ladies of your approximate level, most of whom also have vaginas. You might be able to work out a timeshare arrangement without a large time investment. If the former, you’re fucking out of your league; this does not come without a cost, and it is up to you do do a cost/benefit analysis.

However, I feel it is my duty to point out that 10 minutes is probably not a time factor you should emphasize, nor do we really need to hear the details of your couplings, as it may tend to make you seem like one of those gross swinger people you see on HBO (as opposed to the hot swingers on fiction shows). Alternatively, some might interpret your oversharing as a sort of hollow bragadoccio indicating a lack of other, erm, conquests over which to crow.

In any case, I fail to understand the need to post about your supposedly crazy ex who cheated on you. You have fed the stray cat (obvious pun not inserted), and now it has followed you home. You must either throw it out into the snow, never to be seen again, or you must accept responsibility for your poor judgment.

I also suggest that you tell her to make you a sandwich.
ETA: You can use profanity in MPSIMS. It might be best to have it moved.

Have lots of unprotected sex.
Also, loan her money. Lots of money.

You know, I bet if you had a baby, that would help stabilize her and save the relationship.

Like a moth to a flame. It’s really hard to watch. Lots of people have given you good advice here, but I’m sure you’ve had boatloads of it before, to no advantage.

Sometimes, in life, you have to go around the track more than once before you get the learning. It is painful for those around you to watch, but not as painful as it is to be the one going round again!

Sometimes you can’t hear a thing until you’re ready. We’ve all been there. Self loathing, beating yourself up about it isn’t going to shorten your turn around the loop so don’t waste your time with it. You’re going to need all your energy to really see who this person is showing you, they are. Look hard, expecting them to be otherwise is delusion.

Everyone faces lessons they thought they’d already learned. We all know people who just seem to go round and round, never getting it, but they are few. More common are people who have to go round a couple of few turns before they see.

Good luck to you, my friend, I have a feeling you’re going to need it!

Move to a different city. Do not tell your new address to anyone who might let her know what it is.

Do you have a car? You should probably loan it to her. That will help too.

It is 100 percent you fault. She does dumb shit to you because she can. You allow it. If you acted like an adult she would be all over you until she got you back under her thumb. Send her on her way.

That is silly. It’s all her fault.
But if you let her watch your pets while you’re out of town for a very long period, it will improve things.

Only some of us learn by other people’s mistakes. The rest of us have to be the other people.