The SO just left for three days in Portland (roughly 280 miles away). Her Toyota Tacoma gets about 25 mpg, and my Jeep would get 20 mpg on that trip; so she took the Prius. I hope I have everything I need out of it!
Now… What sort of mischief can I and the cat get into while she’s gone? Muwahahahahaha! 
I’m just going to assume you’re running around the house in the buff right? I mean, there’s no better way to start then that.
Other then that I’ve got nothing now. Maybe take the Jeep four wheeling or something like that. Get it all dirty and then not clean it.
Alas, I’m working. No running around the house all in the nuddy. The cat’s naked, though.
A friend gave me a copy of the World War Z audio book. We loaded it into the stereo yesterday, and she’s going to listen to it on her drive down. I hope she likes it. 
My GF is vegetarian so when she goes out of town I get a big fat steak, maybe some crab cakes, cook a lot of bacon…
Other than that I got nothin’. I don’t have to watch idiotic TV shows about snooty cunts and their weddings.
Smoke some catnip together.
Dirty kitty.
I usually use such times to eat anything I want/usually not allowed to eat. I order the big platter from the Colombian restaurant, the Hawaiian deep dish pizza with the extra ham and extra pineapple, the steak and blooming onion from Outback. lobster.
I then spend a day of misery as my bowels react to the amazing yummies.
Then it’s another day of green tea and heavy exercise to make up for the horrible mistreatment of my body.
by that time she’s usually back. Of course, I always forget about the ice cream I bought and left half-eaten int he freezer, so I still get in trouble, but it’s totally worth it.
Chefguy posted a recipe for lamb kebabs. She’s eten them when I’ve made them, but it turns out she doesn’t care for lamb. So that’s on the menu. Tonight I plan to invent the Spicy McHaggis Sandwich.
Back for a limited time only so get it while you can! This may well be the scariest food item anybody has ever mentioned. :eek:
When I saw the thread title, I thought maybe it was the cat who left and the took the car.
Please, wear clothes when cooking bacon 
Cat’s away. Mice will play.
Beer, and a burping contest.
World War Z was a good book, so I assume it’s a good audiobook. Movie coming out in June I believe.
Enjoy your parole. Just be careful what evidence you leave laying around.
Precision urination. Try to better your score after each beer.
I had not read it, so I didn’t know the format. It was a little strange, the way it was told; but I liked it.
Put the cat out and enjoy the quite.*
*By crankin’ some Pink Floyd around 11!
Shave yourself down. Manscape your southern expanse. See what she says.
When the wife’s away, it means that I get to ramp up the heat level on dinner to 11. Time to break out the habaneros.
I recommend the Utopian Gaslight. Clean your living space, make a bunch of repairs, stock the fridge with a lot of healthy food and don’t say anything. The unspoken message will be that she’s the problem. 