White Castle hamburges. You know, 10 to a sack? Oh lawdy. The last time I forgot, and had some was on a music video. Some numbnuts grip said, " HEY!- There’s a White Castle a few blocks away, it’s 2:00 am and we could have hot food !". No, you son of a bitch, that’s not hot food, that’s Ex-Lax that you can chew. I was just paralyzed.
Also, cooked tomatoes. Oye.
Cartooniverse
Hee heee!!!
I dont have to DO anything, every weekday morning, at 7:20 AM, give or take 5 minutes, I feel an intense need to ‘move the mail’ (nice one that is!) Weekends are a free for all.
INcredible really, I get up at 7, I get two kids up, get them dressed, fed, lunches made (this is usually when the mail needs delivered) then while they are still eating I am dressing and we are out the door at 7:30.
When I was at university, I suffered from shy-shitter syndrome, couldnt dump in the community bathroom. Since then I have learned to deliver the mail with lightning speed.
Why am I telling you this I have NO idea.
Coffee. Oh yeah. But that creates an ordinary, healthy poo.
But every once in a while, I forget that I’m lactose intolerant, and I’ll have some cheese, milk, ice cream, or sour cream. Oh boy. Talk about poopage. :eek:
When I am at work, that is when i have to take the biggest dumps. FWIW, I work midnights at a nursing home.
Raisin bran and a cup of coffee is a magic combination for me. 30 minutes later I’ll be in my sanctuary and about three chapters into whatever book I happen to be reading.
Chorizo
Coffee and other stimulants - cocaine and adipex are two that I know will do it. It’s been a long time since I did crystal meth but I don’t recall it having that effect on me.
Sitting on certain chairs and/or in certain positions. Every weekend morning when I sit down to play some PC games I have to get up and go a few minutes later.
Im afrad the dieuretic effect of a morning smoke and a few coffees is part of my routine, it often leaves me in a dilema , trying to figure how long I have left before the urge will hit me.
“Should I leave now? Will I make it to the office or should I sit here and just think poopage thoughts ?”
I’m about a 5 minute walk away from work where I live at the moment. That stuff works FAAAAAst!
Oh and those Breath Freshners?Chewing Gum that say on the back “Excessive Consumption may have Laxative Effects” ???
Guess what ?
They ain’t lying.
Nothing works better for me than walking into a bookstore. Go figure.
Here’s Cecil’s original column on why cigarettes do it.
Sam, thanks for finding that reference.
I would like to add, that when you have kids in diapers,
there is nothing like just get on the highway, the car will instantly smell of poop. Not before, when you have a chance to safely pull over in a parking lot.
Must be the high speed and the unbalanced tires to jiggle it out of them 
[sub]Why are my yucky threads ( I did one on the Menstrual Cup a long time ago) The most popular and the ones that *I *perceive as the next E=MC[sup]2[/sup] just go down the toilet? [/sub]
A nice bowl of raisin bran every morning works for me. As a kid, mom would give me a small glass of prune juice, and I loved the taste! One day, when she was outside, I downed a whole bottle of the stuff. Of course, that was also the last time I ever drank prune juice.
Curry chicken and noodles, extra spicy.
There’s a restaurant in Minneapolis called the Sri Lanka Curry House that serves this. It’s quite hot, and it’s really damn good.
I promise you this: Depending on the speed of your metabolism (no later than tomorrow morning) you will come to fully understand the meaning of the word imperative. And, there won’t be a lot of time between “I think I have to poop,” and “I’m about to foul my britches.” Don’t try it on a work night if you take the bus to work.
Yeah, but being slowly impaled and left to bleed to death is more fun than a Gallagher show.
I’m with you, P. Dairy gets me every time. That and Big Macs (but not other fast food burgers). And Taco Bell. Taco Bell may be the worst. I’f I’m ever constipated (and I never am–god, I lay cable at least twice a day), I’ll down some Taco Bell, a Big Mac, and finish it off with a milkshake. That’ll clear the decks.
And Altoids. That was a big Ooops… used to eat them like candy, go through a box in 2 days a twork…and I wlways wondered why in the middle of the afternoon, I had the URGE, no waiting! Realized Altoids are made with peppermint oil, a laxative. I was eating enough of 'em to make it effective…beware the Altoids! “curiously strong” indeed.
Big steaming bowl of broccoli cheese soup. Must be the fiber in the broccoli. Will clean ya right out, next morning.
::slinks off in utter embarrasment::
Well, I’m a regular once a day-er, around 5:30 pm after work. If I get off that schedule, I feel all oogy and in order to get back on I’ll have a couple big glasses of apple juice. By the next day I’m back on track, without fail. I don’t smoke or drink coffee, so that’s not an option.
BTW, who came up with “moving the mail”? That is priceless. Mr. Sunshine likes to say he’s “setting a bear trap” but that’s just not delicate enough for me. From now on, I’m moving the mail.
Bingo. Or maybe a trip to the library–comes from reading too much in the bathroom, I guess.
Archway cookies do it for me, whether I want them to or not. about a half-hour after eating one, I’m doubled over frantically looking the loo. I must be allergic to something in them. And yes, this whole thread is TMI.