Shit Happens!

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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Taoism:Shit Happens

Confucianism: Confucius say, “Shit Happens”

Buddhism:If Shit Happens, it isn’t really Shit

Zen (Rinzai):What is the sound of Shit Happening?

Zen (Soto):Shit just Happens

Hinduism:This Shit Happened before

Sikhism:Leave our Shit alone

Jainism :Don’t accidentally swallow flies and Shit

Islam:If Shit Happens, it is the will of Allah

Nation of Islam :Don’t take no Shit!

Hare Krishna:Shit Happens, Shit Happens, Rama Lama ding ding

Agnosticism :Does Shit Happen?

Atheism:No Shit!

Catholicism:Shit Happens because you are BAD

Protestantism:Catholics are full of Shit

Methodism:Let Shit Happen to somebody else

Calvinism:Shit Happens because you don’t work hard enough

Presbyterianism:This Shit was bound to
Happen

Episcopalianism:If Shit Happens, hold a procession

Lutheranism:Shit Happens, but as long as you’re sorry, it’s OK

Anglicanism:Shit Happens, but only to Lutherans

Mormonism:Excrement Occurs

Left Behinders: Holy Shit! We’re under attack!

Baptist:You’re Shitting all wrong, and you’re going to hell for it

Pentacostal:Praise the Shit!

Christian Science:Shit is all in your mind

Existentialism:What is Shit anyway?

Hedonism:There’s nothing like a good Shit Happening

Dadaism:Bathtub full of power tools

Jehovah’s Witness:Knock knock. Shit Happens!

Televangelism:Your tax-deductable donation can prevent this Shit from Happening

Fundamentalism:There’s no Shit in the Bible

Creationism:Shit has only been Happening since October 23rd, 4004 B.C.

Judaism:Why does Shit always Happen to us?

Moonies:Only happy Shit really Happens

Wicca:Shit is part of the Goddess, too

Paganism:Shit Happens for a variety of
reasons

Pantheism:It’s all a bunch of Shit

Panentheism:Shit transcends us

Mysticism:This is some weird Shit

Unitarianism:Go ahead, Shit anywhere you want

Vegetarianism:If it Shits, don’t eat it

Scientology:All this Happens to be Shit

Seventh Day Adventist:No Shit on Saturdays

Amish:Shit is good for the soil

Stoicism:This Shit is good enough for me

Zoroastrianism:Shit Happens half the time

Rastafarianism:Let’s smoke this Shit

Voodoo:Let’s stick some pins in this Shit

Twelve Step Program:Shit Happens one day at a time

Environmentalism:Shit is biodegradable

New Age:It’s not Shit, it’s crystal vibes

>

>

Is that everybody? Anyone feel left out?

Stop telling God what to do.

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Damn smilies!

3

ummm… is this pit material or meaningless stuff…

maybe they should open a humor room.

:slight_smile:

I’m giggling nevertheless

† Jon †
Phillipians 4:13

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You forgot one.

Darwinism: We’re all just shit.

“It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler

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Good one Lib! :slight_smile:

Um, Wally? Your point is?

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Socialism: Everybody gets the same shit.

Nazism: The Master Race gets to shit on everybody else.

Libertarianism: We all get to do whatever shit we want, assuming we can afford it.

Economic conservatism: The free market should set the price of shit.

Religious conservatism: Let’s pass laws banning shit.

Liberalism: We should spread the shit around a bit more.

Isolationism: We only want shit that has the ‘Shat in America’ label.

Bureaucracy: before you can shit, you need to fill out form 917-S in triplicate, have it approved by the appropriate supervisors, and make sure the Shit Committee signs off on it… :wink:

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My point is clear, O shining One.

Although only slightly humorous, my post shows how divided the world is.

What it does not show is who’s philosophy is correct.

I leave that to other members of this board.

They obviously have access to wisdom that I do not.

Even though I own (count 'em) three Bibles.

Stop telling God what to do.

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Rufus, I knew you’d show up.

And naturally, you came through. :slight_smile: :slight_smile: :slight_smile:

Stop telling God what to do.

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Lib, good one. :slight_smile:

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WallyM7: Point well taken. :slight_smile:

11

RTFirefly:

A minor tweak, if I may.

Libertarianism: Keep your shit to yourself.

“It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler

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Lib - I keep hoping you’ll do that, but you keep disappointing me! :wink: Tweak accepted, needless to say.

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^5 Libertarian!

Wally,

That is one of those that needs to go out in email that everyone passes around!

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In a similar vein:

John Kennedy: “Ask not how your country can shit on you; ask how you can shit on your country.”

Lyndon Johnson: “I will not seek, nor will I accept, any more of this shit.”

Richard Nixon: “Let me just say [expletive deleted] about that.”

Gerald Ford: “”

Jimmy Carter: “Shit! Shit! Somebody stop that rabbit!”

Ronald Reagan: “My economics is simple: shit rolls downhill.”

George Bush: “Read my lips. No new shit.”

Bill Clinton: “Now, I want you to listen to me. I did … not … have … sexual relations with that woman … Miss Lewinski.”

“It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler

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So would that Clinton one be paraphrased as, “Bullshit”?

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Bing! — Give that man a prize!

“It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler

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Environmentalism: Stop shitting! You’re screwing up the ecosystem!

Life is a tragedy for those who feel and a comedy for those who think.

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Shit! There’s no debate here!

Krispy Original – voted SDMB’s 19th most popular poster (1999)

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I don’t know why I even came in here <snicker, snicker>… Ok, yeah it’s funny.

But there is another mistake:

Not true… 1 Samuel 24:2-3

If it was to take a leak, why not just “whip it out”?

Peace :slight_smile:

“We love Him because He first loved us.” 1 John 4:19 †

20

what about crispy original shit?