Girls Gone Wild. I almost can’t watch comedy central late at night because the stupid ads will come on.
I’m a young(ish) male. Lots of nekkid boobies should be appealing to me. These commercials take all the appeal out by mananging to perfectly capture the drunk/stoned attention-whore attitude and presenting it in a “just for you, wanna-be ladies’ man” package.
They’ve branched out into “Boys Gone Wild.” It’s one thing for young girls to be taken advantage of, with the “flash your tits and go kiss her for the camera,” but the video evidence of young frat boys playing “show your junk” like they were a bunch of pubescent boys just learning what kind of neat tricks they can do with their wedding tackle will probably be used in some dirty-tricks political smearing ~20 years from now.
If you think the ads are bad, the product is even worse. An old roommate and I ordered these one night after coming home from the bar and figured “Who could ever get sick of this!!”. Meh, took about 10, maybe 15 minutes before we were completely numb to the whole idea. Yawn…
And then of course we got another one. And another…ad infinitum. We never even opened the third one or any of the ones that came after. Threw them away when we moved.
There’s a new one with a boy about 14-15 spraying on the cologne and getting attacked by cheereleaders.
As the mother of an almost 17-year-old, I’ll thank you very much to stop hinting he can get girls by spraying on some nasty smelling cologne. He thinks only about school and college, let’s not distract him. 
Those Orbit gum commercials are stupid too. I think the latest is some guy giving his girl the dog’s chew toy to munch on. Ick.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
Woo-hoo, woo-hoo-hoo.
You probably could have figured it out, though. It’s a DVD with topless women. There is no shortage of DVDs with topless women. Hell, you can see people like Halle Berry topless if you go buy the right movie. If you like to see more than boobs, there are DVDs available that are more explicit. Also, the Naked Drunkchickmobile is way creepy. It puts one in the mind of an artificial wood paneled conversion van with the circular window covered up, cruising past the Junior High School.
God, I know that “song” but I can’t place what the ads are for. It drives me nuts, too.
I’m surprised I’m the first one to mention this one. It makes me SQUIRM literally whenever it comes on. Those DISARONNO commercials! “Disaronno’s warm and sensual taste makes you wish it would never end”
Okay first of all, it annoys me that that chick ordered a Disaronno on the rocks because thats bizarre. I mean I have never seen anyone order amaretto on the rocks and i’d roll my eyes if I did. Save your money for a big girl drink. And then she licks the ice cube and uggghhh
Secondly, the bartender is SO CREEPY. The way he slowly goes from zero to creepy smile and you never really saw it happen. it just sort of magically appears on his face. The man looks like a pedophile. I hate hate hate it.
The pooping bears are also pretty bad. And the Burger King King. I would have a stroke if that thing was staring at me from outside my window much less in my own bed.
I miss the Bud Ice penguins.
I keep hearing these Coors commercials on my local baseball radio broadcasts–thirty seconds of aural rape featuring a gaggle of idiots “singing” a song about passing around Coors light, with each individual moron taking his or her own turn vomiting out a verse of nonsensical garbage. It’s the most mentally retarded thing I’ve ever heard, and every time I’m subjected to it I want to commit brutal murder. The bright side is, if I did commit brutal murder, all I’d have to do is play a tape of the commercial to the court and I’d walk scot free. No jury would convict me.
Hear Hear! What kind of messed up bar has nothing but amaretto on the back bar anyway? And why does the bartender have to spin the top off the bottle, don’t they have pour spouts at this crappy bar, or did they just go through their last bottle since the amaretto slurping brigade just showed up? This commercial sucks.
PS- Wish it would never end? Who in the hell can drink an entire bottle of amaretto? Usually, for most folk one bottle of DiSaronno is a life time supply.
There’s another one that I almost started a thread about, the one where some nebbishy guy can’t get through to customer service at his credit card company. First he gets stuck in a garbage can, and then thrown out into a garbage truck (while bemoaning his beloved disco pants), then he gets bolted into an air duct at work while searching for his credit card statement, and then he’s on the train having to say all sorts of annoying stuff (Big Boy!) but the worst…
The one where he’s apparently pan searing a pork chop while in my mothers kitchen, circa 1983. Good, I hope your house burns down you prick. We already know you have a cell phone, why are you strapped to a kitchen wall phone while trying to burn yourself some dinner?
Vonage.
I don’t think they’re using that music anymore. Now, it’s someone extolling the virtues of Vonage while something bizarre is going on in the background. I have Vonage, but are you supposed to listen to the spokesperson or pay attention to the background? And if you pay attention to the background, does that mean you’re absorbing the message subliminally?
I don’t believe I forgot this one. Although the Captain Morgan ads for their wort coolers are really no better. It really makes me wish they still had an advertising ban on liquor.
I know this is part of the girl gene that I don’t have - because all wedding rings look alike to me. They’re metallic and sometimes they have a sparkly thing in them. The only time I ever really noticed a ring was the first time I saw one where the diamond was suspended with the pressure of the ring holding it in. I thought that was cool. But then, I saw another one, and now they’ve all blended together into “metallic-with-precious-stone” rings (as opposed to metallic-without-precious-stone rings). I cannot imagine remembering what someone else’s ring looks like, much less saying that someone has the same ring - the only way your ring will be unique enough for me to remember it is if you get a wedding tiara and wear it all the time.
Which sort of leads to the DeBeers “I’d marry you all over again” commercial. Why is she skeptical about this claim? Why “yeah, right.”? Why wouldn’t her husband (who she’s having fun vacationing with) want to marry her? What is wrong with this woman? And why should I want to be like her?
The current hamburger helper ad that has only women responsible for doing dinner. Just women (including ones who are at work - yippee, they get the second shift all to themselves!). And their daughters, to get them ready for the time that they’ll be grown women and therefore solely responsible for the dinner preparations. The one man in the commercial says “let’s help out mom!” to show that it really isn’t his job - it’s hers, he’s just being nice but tomorrow, she’ll be back in the kitchen where she belongs while he’s doing manly things.
Radio commercials for TV shows. I writhe in disgust everytime I hear that group of 30(or whatever)-somethings discussing in conversational tones the latest episode of “Scrubs”.
The Chase Bank ad showing the cloyingly ultra-perky blonde chick running around leading a cloyingly ultra-perky blonde-chick llfe…accompanied by a punk-rock lite version of “the Mary Tyler Moore Show” theme. The ad starts with her being, like, SOOOOO super-excited about her paycheck, and ends with her doing some bizarre vogueing in front of a water fountain.
No, honey, not everyone adores you. Some of us are rooting to see you fall face-first into the path of an oncoming car.
My current hated commercial is a radio spot for Hardees. It might also be running for Carl Jr’s, I’m not sure.
It’s an “actual phone call” where a vapid, giggly girl calls her local Hardees, speaks to the manager and requests a hamburger with a cheesesteak included. *“I love meat!” “Is that rude?” *Giggle
Gaaurrggggghghgaauuggh.
My new most hated comercial is for Three Musketeers I think.
A loser guy has a really bad date, then goes back to his car, where he opens the candybar. Then his candy bar turns into a chick and starts talking to him like a Saigon whore before he bites into it right where her head was.
It’s just so damn creepy and wrong.
Oh, oh, how did I forget the Skittles one where there is a man at what appears to be a job interview and the man has a really long prehensile beard, with which he is using to EAT SKITTLES, which is bad enough…….but then he proceeds to use the beard to feed one to the lady interviewing him, and then stroke her face with it….gaaaaaAAAAAHHHH!!!
I will never, ever, eat another Skittle. They are now officially Creepy Beard Food.
I just remembered the Burger King commercial where the men all start this musical number about having been forced to eat quiche and they’re not going to take it anymore. The worst part is the oh-so-subtle symbolism when a huge banner unfolds in the background with the phrase, “Eat This Meat.”