Here in California, we decided to boost cigarette taxes so that the money could be spent bombarding us with commercials. One in particular has the Coach from Hell dragging a smoker through a stop-smoking program, consisting of dodging thrown ashtrays and hitting a blocking sled padded with cigarette packs. It’s bad, it’s cheap & tacky…and IT’S BEEN ON EVERY FRIGGIN’ DAY, TWICE A DAY, FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS!!!MAKE IT STOP!!!
Poor little piggy bank…it closes its eyes before the car whacks it with a hammer.
Currently, I’m hating a Jello pudding commercial. The background contains an irritating beat with a scratchy, monotone, nearly unintelligible voice chanting “jiggle while you wiggle” or something. I’ve never actually watched the whole thing; I leave the room or change the channel as soon as I hear the first beat.
Paper cuts that are then rubbed with lemon juice.
The hottie in the “My Humps” commercial does nothing for me - I think she dances like a fool, so like I said I picture it being sung by a camel which makes it rather amusing to me.
Oddly enough there’s one of these in rotation on the baseball games - which I would assume has a mostly male audience.
Sherwin Williams “I can’t wait to watch the game tonight.” “I thought we were going to paint the [whatever] tonight?” “I can’t wait to LISTEN to the game tonight.” “I’ve trained you well.” ho ho ho
And there’s the one with women singing a song about their husband’s horrible haircuts to the tune of “Take Me Out To the Ballgame.”
And as zamboniracer said, the female golf addict. It was clever the first time we heard it “it’s hard being married to a golf addict.” oh, the golf addict is a woman, how clever! BUT IT WAS ONLY CLEVER WHEN I HEARD IT THE FIRST SEVENTY TIMES.
The women do get theirs, tho! There’s a Ford commercial with a SERIOUSLY creepy screaming woman saying something like “I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO CLEAN OUT THE GARAGE, THE KIDS ARE SCREAMING AND WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ME FOR A NICE ROMANTIC DIN-NER?!” “Need an escape? Get the new Ford…” ha ha what a bitch.
groan
However, I must admit, after the season or two of the First Energy commercials that were long narratives about “who’s that man standing in our living room?” “oh that’s the First Energy guy” - it is hard to find one that’s worse and more annoying.
Although, First Energy now touting the fact that they can automatically tell you when your power is going to come back on after an outage is pretty ballsy. I would like them more if they said “hey our power NEVER goes out! woot!”
Any commercial where the person trying to sell me something is yelling at me. Billy Mays is the prime offender, followed by Tony Little. But there are others. Every time one of them says (screams): BUY THIS PRODUCT NOW!!! I think "NOT UNTIL YOU FUCKIN’ STOP SCREAMING AT ME!!!
I like this one (and chuckled at the sign) if for no other reason than the “Do Not Attempt” subtitle when they toss the van over the bridge… you gotta love the warning!
And I pit all car/suv/truck commercials with the “Proffesional Driver, Closed Course, Do not attempt in real life” subtitles, I mean… either show what the average guy can do with your hunk’o’metal or atleast do not show me what I should not even attempt.
So, if I do it, you’re telling me the rig will squash my Ford F-150 SuperDuty?
I remember it started with a book called, "Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche"Link that was all about being macho and basically living up to the Tim Allen stereotype of manhood. And yes, it is unfair to a mostly delicious type of food. As long as there’s no broccoli, quiche is good food.
I have had this jingle as an earworm on many occaisons. It’s the worst kind to have too, as the only sure way to kill an earworm is to listen to that song. This isn’t one you can just call up on I-Tunes when it’s driving you nuts.
“J.G. Wentworth can get you CASH NOW for your structured settlements. Do you have an annuity or an insurance settlement that pays you in small increments? Do you want CASH NOW? Call J.G. Wentworth for CASH NOW!”
If you notice in that ad and the one where the lab coated guy stands under the suspended truck, it’s all done with CGI. Which means, of course, that Ford doesn’t trust their own gear!
The announcer, Alex Chadwick, asks if you ‘sometimes need a hit of news between Morning Edition and All Things Considered.’ We’re then treated to a collage of clips from the show before Mr. Chadwick returns, and announces, “A hit of news, a bit of news, the fit of news.”
What the hell is 'the fit of news?" Grr. Not the only thing that annoys me about this generally acceptable program, but certainly the one I hear most often.
Like jali, I think the REALLY offensive ones are the ones that show the guy giving the girl some piece of jewelry, and the shallow-ass ungrateful bitch gets mad at him because her friend’s boyfriend gave her something from (insert fancy jeweler here) and so obviously her boyfriend is a cheapskate. I swear, if I gave someone a gift and they got pissy because I didn’t get it at the right store? I’d never speak to them again because they clearly aren’t worth the time of day. Those commercials piss me off to a ridiculous degree.
Another commercial series I hate: NASONEX. That fucking BEE irritates the CRAP out of me. He’s not cute, he’s lame. He’s poorly done as anyone who has ever used 3-D rendering software can attest to. He’s got an irritating accent and his vocal cadence is grating beyond belief.
And add my vote to the Burger King “King” haters.
AAUUUUUGHHH!!! I HATE THAT! I forget what I was watching once, but a little Enterprise zoomed up from the bottom of the screen and blew something up, then an ad for Star Trek popped up. But what pissed me off was IT HAD SOUND. You heard the phaser fire, and you heard the explosion, LOUDER THAN THE SHOW. I have TiVo and I replayed the scene three times, trying in vain to hear the line that was drowned out by the stupid ad, but I never was able to hear what they said.
Radio: I turn the dial to another station or punch the radio off IMMEDIATELY upon hearing the jingle for Shaw’s or Jarred’s (both jewelers).
The one where the guy is on the subway, and all the women are around him sensuously running their hands over his shirt. I’m a man and even I find that just creepy. Not to even mention how degrading it portrays women: Use this product and turn into a mindless fool who can’t keep her hands off a strange man’s shirt. Sheesh.
The one where the guy fakes up making a new pair of jeans look worn, then gives them to his departing girlfriend who lovingly caresses them. Then we discover that he kept the real jeans, apparently because he loves them so much he just couldn’t part with them. In other words, he ef’in LIED to his girlfriend because he loves his jeans more than he loves her! And that’s supposed to make me want to buy the stupid jeans, because they’re worn by freakin’ liars?!?!?
In the same vein, the one where the teenage guy is driving his girlfriend back home late at night, and the squeaky brakes on his car give them away because he didnt’ use whatever the hell is being advertised. Again, the commercial is telling me to use their product/service so that I can better lie and get away with it?!?!?
All three of these represent a trend in commercials that I find very disturbing: Trying to portray the product as being so great, that people will just totally lose all self-control (e.g. the already mentioned Swiffer ad), or showing how the product can help you lie or cheat or otherwise get away with something. I want nothing to do with any product that is advertised in that way.
The Burger King is creepy enough that my SO and I both think it would be an excellent idea for him to dress up as him for Halloween. If it wasn’t for the fact that people might think we thought the King was cool somehow.
Any ad where the kid(s) is/are being bratty and the parents don’t care. Is it supposed to be cute? Because I end up sitting there wishing I could give the parents a piece of my mind and the kid(s) a good spanking.
That ghastly creepy miserable girl, all tearful as she tells the phone how horribly violated she feels when her roommate wants her to switch from NetZero to Netscape or the other way around. I want to slap her into the middle of next week.
Whichever tampon company it is that keeps making those awful, patronizing, and unbelievable commercials. The current one starts out: “Biologically speaking, women win [Okay, you already know that somebody has been huffing paint at this point]. We get great curves, sexy hairless backs…”
Um, yeah. You sold me. That beats the hell out of external genitalia, stronger muscles, more height, bigger heart and lungs, and a complete absence of menstruation.
One of their earlier commercials was equally patronizing and unbelievable, just in a slightly different way. It was something like: “Girls can play lots of roles. Like cowgirl, shopclerk, president of major corporation, flirt, [etc].” What a load of hooey, and nausea-making, to boot.
The bathroom tissue commercial that’s animated, with happy bears crouching behind trees and enjoying the softness of whatever the product is called. Yeck.
Does a bear shit in the woods? Hell yes, and it even uses toilet paper.